http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/ en Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:47:10 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/images/insignia/misc/rss.jpg http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/ http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4300-best-live-beatles-cover-ive-ever-heard.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:45:32 GMT I Want You (She's So Heavy) ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4300-best-live-beatles-cover-ive-ever-heard.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4296-time-now-mine-keep-ii.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:40:50 GMT It's time to let the day in.
But no matter how far back I draw the curtains,
I sometimes need the help of lamps.

Once the day fills the room, I will
fill it with what I please.

And when the day fades away, I will
await another turn.

The night no longer hides those fatalistic
distractions. I will
penetrate its melatonin-washed
obscurity with my flip-book
madness.

And whether I can document the movement
is of no consequence because
the time is now mine to keep. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4296-time-now-mine-keep-ii.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4224-time-now-mine-keep.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:45:19 GMT The moon dreamed of the night I would finally visit her at that vast sky of a window which I pass by in short intervals of busyness. In those brief obscure moments, I sometimes accidentally see her, mostly on that crest of colour between day and night. My mind balks at the sight of... The moon dreamed of the night I would finally visit her
at that vast sky of a window
which I pass by in short intervals of busyness.
In those brief obscure moments,
I sometimes accidentally see her,
mostly on that crest of colour
between day and night.

My mind balks at the sight of her
as I continue on my impulsive way.
I often take her into my half-conscious landscape,
and she blends in like a set piece.

Months pass, and the moon will do her work,
and I will do mine.

It was too late by the time I learned the summer had fallen ill,
and the autumn sighed at my indifference. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4224-time-now-mine-keep.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4197-tragically-fit.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:56:26 GMT We just got back from a concert at the Air Canada Centre. It was a free concert performed by none other than the Tragically Hip (pretty much Canadian royalty). It was put on by Goodlife Fitness to celebrate its 30th anniversary. The concert was free, but you had to win tickets by contest or... We just got back from a concert at the Air Canada Centre. It was a free concert performed by none other than the Tragically Hip (pretty much Canadian royalty).

It was put on by Goodlife Fitness to celebrate its 30th anniversary.

The concert was free, but you had to win tickets by contest or have them given to you by favour via a personal trainer. Either way, only clients, affiliates, and their families were invited to see this. (But I'm sure others got their hands on tickets via "other" means.)

The Hip rocked. As a Kingston boy, I was glad to see my kin do their thing. I'm both sorry and glad to say that this is the first time I've seen them perform live. (I've only been to a handful of concerts.) It's amazing how well they sound live. Downie's lyricism is nothing short of pure performance. And he didn't stand still once during the entire show, which, from what I've heard, is par for the course. Actually, his presence and movements on the stage are a part of the show.

The set list was well chosen: leading off with an old favourite ("New Orleans Is Sinking") and delving mostly into their mid-career stuff, mixing in a few newer tunes, and then finishing off with another old favourite ("Blow at High Dough").

I've seen Downie perform solo once before at a small venue, but it was awesome to see all the boys play a full concert at a big show. Even after all these years, they all seemed really into it. Much of the performances sounded pretty close to as they appear on the studio recordings, with tasteful and or enticing embellishments. Downie's own embellishments with the lyrics were either cleverly meandering or surprising and suitable substitutions.

It's interesting. I don't know how much this whole thing cost Goodlife, but it certainly brought lots of publicity and goodwill. Needless to say, I think they are an awesome company, and I am pleased with how they reward their customers.

Now I'm off to load more Hip tunes onto my iPod.

Rock on, TFP. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4197-tragically-fit.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4171-time-has-come-bear-your-past-iii.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 22:14:10 GMT In your preoccupation with entering the stream, you turn your back on that which brought you here: the worlds that would teach you languages that can speak to those now flitting by. Nothing speaks to you in this moment, and you cannot translate the penetrating noise despite your best... In your preoccupation with entering the stream,
you turn your back on that which brought you here:
the worlds that would teach you languages that
can speak to those now flitting by.

Nothing speaks to you in this moment, and you cannot
translate the penetrating noise despite your best
attempts at filtering it out.

Sitting on the cusp between the real and the imagined,
you cannot focus on anything but how it's as sharp
as the point of a spear.

You give into impulses that pull in either direction;
you stumble, yet never fall.
You resist--and in that fool's tenacity, you insist
on being nothing,
a subject of neither.

It's like spending the entire Saturday at the end of the world
stringing speaker wire
while having no music to listen to. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4171-time-has-come-bear-your-past-iii.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4159-hey-you-wanna-know-what-sucks.html Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:40:56 GMT Having to repeatedly tell your boss they missed payday. Having to repeatedly tell your boss they missed payday. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4159-hey-you-wanna-know-what-sucks.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4150-time-has-come-bear-your-past-ii.html Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:36:34 GMT Are you a man with that posture, with your yearnings and spendings? A man knows and wants and takes and gets. The impulsive inertia of this collision course is criminal. Prevention lies in submissive aggression-- impressionable, supple. Are you a man with that posture,
with your yearnings and spendings?

A man knows and wants and takes and gets.

The impulsive inertia of this collision course is criminal.

Prevention lies in submissive aggression--
impressionable,
supple.

Torn edges of paper can be cut smooth,
made new,
reused.

All things are eventually spent, after being well used. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4150-time-has-come-bear-your-past-ii.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4144-time-has-come-bear-your-past.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:54:09 GMT While deathly sirens are swinging doors, you can find your way throughout the world and still not know how to act. On the days when being is unbearable, when time accelerates and movement has no pattern, where the deceitful sound of the world forces its false predicaments upon you, you... While deathly sirens are swinging doors,
you can find your way throughout the world and still not know how to act.

On the days when being is unbearable,
when time accelerates and movement has no pattern,
where the deceitful sound of the world forces its false
predicaments upon you,
you cannot know how to act.

Nothing is created out of nothing.
And then you have nothing; you have it all.

Repeatedly shipping the breakfast of your day, your gut
has no feeling. You have no feeling but of the paste in your mouth
and the dryness of your lips.

Having no appetite for the world, you're skipping out on its tastes,
its bits of tastes, novel but not new. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4144-time-has-come-bear-your-past.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4113-speed.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:20:42 GMT The “walking” dead tend to move at a slouch or limp. Even without injuries or advanced decomposition, their lack of coordination makes for an unsteady stride. Speed is mainly determined by leg length. Taller ghouls have longer strides than their shorter counterparts. Zombies appear to be incapable... The “walking” dead tend to move at a slouch or limp. Even without injuries or advanced decomposition, their lack of coordination makes for an unsteady stride. Speed is mainly determined by leg length. Taller ghouls have longer strides than their shorter counterparts. Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds. Again, as with strength, the dead’s advantage over the living is their tirelessness. Humans who believe they have outrun their undead pursuers might do well to remember the story of the tortoise and the hare, adding, of course, that in this instance the hare stands a good chance of being eaten alive.

--From Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide: complete protection from the living dead ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4113-speed.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4090-caffeine.html Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:40:36 GMT Well, I've decided to get off of caffeine again.

I've done this a couple of times now. Both previous attempts lasted for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, before I convinced myself that I could have coffee occasionally. But it wouldn't be long before I was back to my regular daily 16-oz. strong brew habit.

I've read the literature about it, and I know coffee has its benefits, but as far as I'm concerned, it isn't worth it. I don't want this dependency on caffeine anymore. I know for a fact that I sleep better without it. And I hate it when I'm not feeling up to something just because I haven't had my coffee yet.

I've also read recently that caffeine can make anxiety and depression symptoms worse. It doesn't necessarily cause them, but it acts as a multiplier. That's something else I don't need.

So what does that leave me? Well, I enjoy green tea immensely, and I've been drinking even that decaffeinated. Then there are a host of other types of tea I really enjoy too, including oolong, white, and black teas. And then there is herbal tea.

I will enjoy the occasional decaffeinated coffee, but only as a treat because apparently decaf does weird things to cholesterol levels.

Green and white tea in particular have a wide array of benefits, many of which I would like to take advantage of.

This is what I'm after: quality sleep, stress management, sustained energy.

This is what I'm avoiding: energy crashes, moodiness, anxiety/stress, lethargy, disturbed sleep patterns.

I've been there; I've done that. I just need to stay on the wagon this time.

So long, caffeine. I want my brain back. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4090-caffeine.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4030-braiiiins.html Sat, 17 Oct 2009 03:33:14 GMT If I were to succumb to a zombie attack, would it even matter?

I don't know how to turn brains into money, so why not turn them into food?

Someone once complimented me on my book smarts. It was the first time someone complimented me in such a way that made me feel good about myself. At the time I had already graduated college, moved to the Big Smoke, and had enrolled myself for another three years of university.

I've studied business and literature.

I completed college with an A average. A year before I started, I didn't think I was even smart enough to go to college.

I completed university with a B+ average. This despite going through a mental meltdown during the fallout of an emotionally abusive relationship of seven years. This despite handing in first-draft essays corrected for spelling and grammar. This despite better measuring study sessions in minutes, rather than hours.

After that? I landed a six-month internship at a small but well established book publisher. In three months, I was made the managing editor.

But what do I have to show for it? I don't love my job. I'm disengaged from the industry. I'm paid about as much as a customer service rep. The industry is a constant battle of trying to get blood from a stone: there's no money. And I don't know where I'm going. I have no "career." I'm not on any proverbial "path." I'm stuck.

I don't know how to turn brains into money.

I'm book smart, sure, but I have no fucking clue what I'm doing in the "real world." It's like I'm in a bubble. I know just beyond that bubble I can do things. Put me to work; I'll make you rich, just as long as you give me a piece of the pie. I have modest means.

I know how people find good jobs. I've read about it. They do it by knowing people--"networking," they call it.

I don't have a network. I think I need to read about how to get one. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/4030-braiiiins.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3865-im-home-but-im-out-place.html Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:15:17 GMT I'm at home. It doesn't feel like home. I feel so displaced right now.

We finished closing the office today. My employer no longer has a Toronto office. Three of us are now working out of our homes, in addition to my boss who's been working out of his home out of town for about a year now.

We're to have weekly Toronto meetings on Mondays, but if the weekly phone conferences over the past year are any indication, the weekly meetings will turn to monthly before not-at-all.

This place never had any structure. Which is one source of my frustration. Which is why I wonder how I've lasted so long. I have no "real" manager, no mentor, no performance appraisals or expectations, no advancement, no money.

I'm at home, but I'm out of place. My comfort zone is shattering...is shattered.

I just signed up for "the works" at the Canadian Securities Institute (CSI): I enrolled in the Canadian Securities Course (CSC), and even got the added tools and tutorials. It immediately seemed like a knee-jerk reaction, but then I remembered that I've been thinking about this for months now. It wasn't a knee-jerk reaction; I'm just reacting to a catalyst. Which is good, because I tend to think more than act: this is my problem.

Passing this course's exams (2) will give me the license to sell mutual funds and will open to door to other designations. With these exams under my belt, I can become a mutual fund salesperson or a personal banker. A quick check on job sites will show that these positions are in demand. The financial services industry is hot in Toronto, and I suppose I've taken the big step towards getting a piece of that pie.

Even financial advisors are in demand. One lofty goal could be to become a Certified Financial Planner (CFP), which is one of the highest respected designations internationally. I've worked on a number of books written by these guys, and they certainly have some interesting things to say. In a way, they've taught me much and have inspired me. I like the idea of helping people reach their financial goals before hitting retirement...especially since this is such a big concern of my own, and especially since my own parents don't have a chance in hell of doing so.

So much to process at this moment. I don't know what I'm thinking. Maybe I've just gone crazy.

I just hope my maths still work. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3865-im-home-but-im-out-place.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3804-another-turning-point-fork-stuck-road.html Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:44:21 GMT Well, the seal has been broken: the two other editors I work with have packed up their effects to take home, where they will set up to do their work from now on.

This marks the last week of our being office workers; we are now telecommuters.

It's starting to dawn on me. This has been a long cycle in my life (relatively speaking)—five years of my career life. And now I'm reevaluating things.

My resume is now on Monster.ca and Workopolis. It's not much, but it's a start, and that's important.

I'm now actively seeking employment in another industry. At this point, I'm willing to take something on the entry level. I need new opportunities. I need upward mobility. I need broader experiences. I need to be adequately rewarded.

I need change.

I was afraid of it at first, but now that I've had a taste, I'm jonesing for it. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3804-another-turning-point-fork-stuck-road.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3773-keeping-things-perspective-erosion.html Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:13:24 GMT I posted a note on my monitor at home. It's a message that will act as a negative reinforcement for motivation for career change.

It's based on this little factoid:

• Adjusting for inflation, I make $200 less per month than I did 5 years ago.

This is based on the effect of not receiving any raises for half a decade. It's now staring at me in the face. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3773-keeping-things-perspective-erosion.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3738-what-doesnt-injure-you-only-makes-you-stronger.html Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:55:43 GMT So...an update on my weightlifting progress.

A different "metric" this time: how much weight am I pushing?

Back in March, it was looking a little something like this:

• Leg press: 80 lbs.
• Dumbbell shoulder press: 20 lbs.
• Dumbbell bench press: 25 lbs.

Now, in just over 6 months of hard work, this is what I'm looking at:

• V-squat: 215 lbs.
• Dumbbell shoulder press: 40 lbs.
• Dumbbell bench press: 55 lbs.

*Dumbbell weights are each of two units, as opposed to total weight.

I switched from leg press to v-squat. The v-squat is a levered machine for simulating squats. It's not quite the same thing as real barbell squats, but it's a better exercise than the leg press in that it gets you used to the movement of the squat. I have done regular squats, but my gym gets really busy during the time I work out and so the safety racks are usually taken. I've started to supplement my leg routine with stiff-legged deadlifts as a result, which hit my hams and back (not to mention my glutes!). This rounds things out, considering what I'm lacking from real squats.

You'll notice that my weights on both presses have doubled. I'm quite happy about that, especially as far as my shoulders are concerned. Between those and my forearms, they are my weakest link, and so I need to focus on getting them up and running or I'll risk holding other areas back.

I'm not one to spend time determining my one-rep max scores, so I used a calculator that helps predict what that would be. The only score I'm really concerned about is my max bench. This is because I heard a long time ago that if you can bench your own weight, you're considered quite strong. I guess that left an imprint on my mind. It's now one goal of mine. This means I need to get my max bench up to around 170 lbs. (yes, that makes me a lightweight). According to one calculator, my current max bench is around 140 lbs. I'm happy with the progress. I don't think it will be much longer for me to get another 30 lbs. added to that score.

I like the idea of being strong enough to bench myself. ]]> Baraka_Guru http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/baraka_guru/3738-what-doesnt-injure-you-only-makes-you-stronger.html