The “walking” dead tend to move at a slouch or limp. Even without injuries or advanced decomposition, their lack of coordination makes for an unsteady stride. Speed is mainly determined by leg length. Taller ghouls have longer strides than their shorter counterparts. Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds. Again, as with strength, the dead’s advantage over the living is their tirelessness. Humans who believe they have outrun their undead pursuers might do well to remember the story of the tortoise and the hare, adding, of course, that in this instance the hare stands a good chance of being eaten alive.

--From Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide: complete protection from the living dead

Well, I've decided to get off of caffeine again.

I've done this a couple of times now. Both previous attempts lasted for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, before I convinced myself that I could have coffee occasionally. But it wouldn't be long before I was back to my regular daily 16-oz. strong brew habit.

I've read the literature about it, and I know coffee has its benefits, but as far as I'm concerned, it isn't worth it. I don't want this dependency on caffeine anymore. I know for a fact that I sleep better without it. And I hate it when I'm not feeling up to something just because I haven't had my coffee yet.

I've also read recently that caffeine can make anxiety and depression symptoms worse. It doesn't necessarily cause them, but it acts as a multiplier. That's something else I don't need.

So what does that leave me? Well, I enjoy green tea immensely, and I've been drinking even that decaffeinated. Then there are a...

If I were to succumb to a zombie attack, would it even matter?

I don't know how to turn brains into money, so why not turn them into food?

Someone once complimented me on my book smarts. It was the first time someone complimented me in such a way that made me feel good about myself. At the time I had already graduated college, moved to the Big Smoke, and had enrolled myself for another three years of university.

I've studied business and literature.

I completed college with an A average. A year before I started, I didn't think I was even smart enough to go to college.

I completed university with a B+ average. This despite going through a mental meltdown during the fallout of an emotionally abusive relationship of seven years. This despite handing in first-draft essays corrected for spelling and grammar. This despite better measuring study sessions in minutes, rather than hours.

After that? I landed...

Well, the seal has been broken: the two other editors I work with have packed up their effects to take home, where they will set up to do their work from now on.

This marks the last week of our being office workers; we are now telecommuters.

It's starting to dawn on me. This has been a long cycle in my life (relatively speaking)—five years of my career life. And now I'm reevaluating things.

My resume is now on Monster.ca and Workopolis. It's not much, but it's a start, and that's important.

I'm now actively seeking employment in another industry. At this point, I'm willing to take something on the entry level. I need new opportunities. I need upward mobility. I need broader experiences. I need to be adequately rewarded.

I need change.

I was afraid of it at first, but now that I've had a taste, I'm jonesing for it.

he studies linguistics at the university



deep transformation