Stay off the interwebs when drunk. While you're at it, stay off the phone, too.






My problem is, when I drink, I want to talk. A lot. I'm generally quiet, unless I'm around very good friends...until I get some alcohol. Then, I want to discuss everything in the WORLD, with complete strangers, or anyone who will listen. If I don't have that option, I turn to posting and texting, which isn't always a good thing. More often than not, I end up regretting it, and it's not something I can just erase, because...hello! Written proof, right in front of my face. And everyone else's, for that matter.


...I need to go to bed.

...and everyone else is either ALSO drunk, or asleep.


Sometimes, I have to wonder...what's the fucking point? I mean, really. I'm one of the most positive people I know... I overlook so many things, because I'm looking for what's good.


But, really...does it matter? Is that moment of happiness worth a lifetime of regret?





Here's the thing...yes. It totally is. But there are going to be rivaling moments of doubt, and sadness, and anger, and disappointment. But we keep going...we keep trying....because that moment of happiness, of trust, of BELONGING....it happens. And in the end, it's worth it. Every time.

Car is back. I owe Mom lots of money, though. Phone is back on... yay.


I went dress shopping today, and found an absolutely fabulous one (with a little help... ) I also really, really want to go school shopping. That was always one of my favorite parts of fall (or rather, the end of summer). New clothes, new notebooks, new pens, new folders...

Work was okay...I definitely didn't make typical Friday night money, but with one exception, all my tables were cool.


Tomorrow is going to be lots of fun...and busy. Volleyball tournament in the morning, 9:45. Yeek. We don't have an actual schedule for the matches yet, though, so there could be a lot of sitting-around-time. I'm hoping the girls who only play because their boyfriends play...don't show up. We may actually have a chance then. (I'm terrible, I know. But I'm also really competitive and don't wanna deal with girly girls.)

I can only stay until one-ish, then...

You know that reply I made over in "Love or Money?" Disregard everything I said. I am completely broke, and selling out is looking like a delightful option at this point.




...okay, not really. Still, I feel like the grasshopper. I've played all summer, and neglected to really put any money back, and now that I actually need it, I'm screwed.

Sigh. This sucks. I'll probably be without my phone and without my car for a significant amount of time. Considering these are two of my favorite things (well, independence and freedom and keeping in touch with friends are my favorites...but I digress), I may go a little stir-crazy.




I'll get through this, though. I'll figure something out, and manage to land on my feet again. I always seem to.

Someday, I'll do a real entry. That day is not today, however.




"Sometimes, when I'm sitting in class...y'know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like...it's like...freeze-frame. Willow kissage."