I've been rereading Widdershins, one of my favorites. I've read it enough times now that I mostly just skip to my favorite parts. Two passages always make me stop:


"I know, how incurably romantic of me, looking for everlasting love in a world of five-second bytes, where most people find it more interesting to watch the so-called reality of other people's lives in scripted television shows than to actually live one of their own.

But I do want that long-term stability. I don't really expect to ever find it, but that doesn't stop me from yearning for it all the same. That said, I also have to admit that I'm probably more scared of getting into a serious relationship than I am of living the rest of my life on my own. It's not that I'm a commitment phobe. It's just that whenever I do, sooner or later, I get left behind."

***

"Individually, no one's really special. It's how we connect to each other that's special....

So, I'm going to Buffett tonight. Was supposed to go with a couple of friends, and we've been planning it since...well, since last year's concert.

Bit of backstory: they're siblings. Neither have cars. One lives in Fairborn, one lives in Cbus.

Their mom was supposed to pick them up this afternoon, then bring them back to M-town. I would take over from there.


The one who lives in Cbus isn't coming now. I don't know if there was a family spat or what... but he doesn't have a ride to M-town. Since there's NO WAY my car will make it up there (I have my doubts it will even make it to Cincy, I'll be honest), there's nothing I can do to help.

We have a hotel room, but my share just went up. I was perfectly okay with not getting a hotel in the first place, so this doesn't make me especially happy.


Sigh...I was really, really looking forward to seeing Buffett with him...we used to sit in his car at parties...

Normally, I love rain. Today, though, it seems to be affecting my mood in the not-so-goodish way. I've been lazing around, listening to sad songs...songs about rain, and leaving town, and being left, and love gone wrong, and love that never had the chance to GO wrong...or right.




I'm restless. But I'm also unmotivated. So I guess I'll just lay here with my headphones and daydreams. For now, anyway.

Let's get this out in the open first thing: I really like sex. Really, really, really. It's fun, and I'm all about it. That said, I can go without sex for a substantial amount of time. I'd prefer not to, but it's not a huge deal.

I have a harder time, however, going without physical affection. Touching, kissing, caressing, holding hands, snuggling... going too long without any of these makes me go a little crazy.



As much as I crave physical affection, however, I enjoy my freedom. I like flirting with no consequences. I like not having to answer to anyone. I like being able to go out with friends and not have to worry if someone else is having a good time, or sitting home waiting for me.


It's actually very frustrating, these conflicting needs I have. While I'm not focused on "finding someone" right now, the fact remains that when I DO get with someone, I'm going to need a person who will be just as affectionate...

Sunday morning, I woke up early(ish), and donned my Guinness tshirt, black pleated skirt, spiderweb tights, and black Converse knock-offs. I really wanted to wear my "Everyone loves an Irish girl" shirt, but sadly, it seems to be lost.

Anyway, headed over to pick up my best friend, and after she got ready (plaid skirt and Guinness rugby shirt), we hit the road. My car sounds AWFUL, by the way... axle problem, I believe. Luckily, we made it up to Dayton with no problems.

So...the festival itself was a LOT smaller than we expected, which was a bit of a disappointment. I bought a Claddagh ring and some beer, and we checked out the Irish-themed tshirts/hats/hoodies. I think my favorite was, "Kiss me, I'm Irish...slip me some tongue because I'm part French." Niiiice.

We looked around the culture tent, then started walking back towards the main stage. Stopped and picked up a performance schedule, and noticed the first band I wanted...