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YES!!!!

Cynthetiq — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:11:20 GMT

I didn't win!!!!

I'm so happy that I didn't get re-elected because well, I can do more damage to them outside than I can inside. I know that the accomplishments I have had over the years is a nice feather in the cap.

We balanced the budget. Held financial meetings to explain where we were and how we got there. We renovated the playgrounds, the children's indoor playroom. We renovated the laundry room. We made a feeble attempt at communications. Made regular maintenance increases as our budget increased. We called for reductions in the budget across all accounts. We demanded that all vendors take a adjusted price, or we called out for open bids. We adjusted our budget so that we could have a positive $1M cash position.

As it currently stands, we're tracking a $1.2M annual deficit. We'll see just how well the new board figures out how to get out of that bind.

This also means that they took in 2 people that they really didn't want to, people who are thinkers and doer's like me and the other guy who supported me.

We shall see how the rest of this unfolds.

Papers finally done...

ghoastgirl1 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:48:04 GMT

I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted in my journal...nearly a month. Things with Matt are still going a long, we leave in 5 weeks for Japan which is very exciting.

It's hard to describe how things are. I made the mistake of giving him his first BJ and now that's almost the only thing he wants sexually. Of course that's an exaggeration however he does want them often. Stupid on my part since I hate giving them. I had 4 papers due this week. I've kept off my ankle since my last post. Tomorrow I'm going to work out for the first time on it since the Dr. visit. Hope it goes well, I've been going crazy not working out. Matt still seems so very much in love with me it blows my mind. Although I have noticed a couple times this 4th month together that we have had a few more arguments. I have this annoying tendency to take many things the wrong way, and on a personal level. This is something I need to break or I fear it could break the relationship. He said it won't but it's still something I need to personally work on and improve. James was right about the hypersensitive stuff

Probably one of the most boring things to ask...

Cynthetiq — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:35:47 GMT

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

Fiduciary duty.

if you are a fiduciary for a company or an individual when does it end?

To give you some background as to why I'm concerned about my fiduciary responsibility. I put this website up to campaign for re-election and recorded candidates night. I put it up on a password protected entry and you had to contact me to get the password. Anyways the incumbent board members were pissed off that I made them look bad since well, they didn't bother to campaign or try to communicate with people. Anyways, the other candidates and the shareholders were quite happy to know that there was someone trying to communicate in a more modern way than the one off emails we get to take lawn chairs off the balcony when nor'easters come, or the piece of paper telling us it's hot and that the community room is being a cooldown center during heat waves. We get papers taped to the elevator banks 24 hours before Jewish holiday because the office is going to be closed.

I've been trying to get them to communicate better but well, I'm 1 of 11.

And really, we should just be telling management to communicate better, but that's a different issue where management when they don't want to do something they pass it to the board, and when the board doesn't want to do something they pass it to management.

Basically I declared war on one of the other board members. I probably lost my seat since the elections were last night. I don't really care because I'd rather be on the outside to do some demonstrations as to some of the ideas that should be discussed by more progressive board members.

Seriously, their communication is so stifled that they think that it's a badge of honor to withhold the date of board meetings from shareholders.

anyways... :)

Just going home

Cynthetiq — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:49:33 GMT

I was going to go to the ballot counting, but you know what. I really don't give a shit. In fact the more I think about it the more I prefer not to be encumbered by "fiduciary duty."

I'm trying to find out when that ends so that I can blab blab blab blab blab blab.

my father in beige world

roachboy — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:16:57 GMT

recently i was given a copy of journals that my father (who died in 2001 or 2002) kept from the mid 1970s through the early 90s. i had heard about them but hadn't seen them before.

as i've been reading through them, my head has been getting tweaked in odd ways, setting up strange resonances that i am not quite sure what to do with.
i wrote this earlier today and it really didn't help any of that. if anything, it made the resonances worse.

in 3-d i talk pretty directly about what's on my mind. when i write, it seems like there's always more than one layer and that sometimes the layer that's causing more of the turmoils is submerged, chattering through the details of the surface story, bending it around.

by the way, bernie is my father. by the time he started writing the journals, he had come to dislike that nickname. he preferred the french pronunciation of bernard. i'm not sure why he became bernie in the following. this has something to do with the resonances, i think, speaks to them.

anyway...here goes:

...

1. Bernie wanders a beige world and as his journals progress I know him less and less. What began as an account of the sentimental education of a boy from Massachusetts turns out to be a narrowing, a turning of attention away from the grain of experiences to a series of detached narratives which alternate between transitional moments in airports & vast landscapes, waitresses bartenders & odes to the sea, hotel after hotel reviewed according to a mini-bar arrangements & echoes of imaginary military campaigns. A trip to Tahiti is a series of airport misadventures, variations in weather, lunches & a chauffeured drive around a circular road through a series of partially glimpsed landscapes. The conclusion is that Tahiti is small.

By the time Tahiti is determined to be small, the narratives have assumed a static form: the Spectator sits in a car or at a table & observes settings always basically the same. People are stock characters who emerge and disappear, trailing behind them one of two or three types of anecdotes. Each deviation is transient so each is held in place by being catalogued. The narratives are then lists of such deviations from the monotony of a world in which everything is interchangeable with everything else.

It is difficult to determine why this is the case, whether it follows from the structure of spectatorship itself, in which one watches one�s own life as if it were a film and waits for these moments of deviation to provide entertainment, or if it follows from an immersion in a particular conception of writing tied to a particular genre. Military histories and biographies operate at a similar type of remove from the granular. I know he enjoyed reading both & I know he entertained the idea that these journals would be published. Perhaps a commitment to this type of sentences, and by extension to this conception of what kind of writing constitutes the literary, explains the exclusion of the granular and concurrent collapse of an account of being-in-the-world to a mode of telling that derives from models rooted in ex-post-facto reconstructions based on documentation and projection.

Or maybe it�s something else. Across these repetitions I watch the effects of a dynamic I recognize from myself: the relation between being a nomad & the assumption �real� life is Elsewhere waiting for you like a park you can visit. So you travel to Elsewhere only to find that no matter the elsewhere what you are looking for is not there. In that way every place becomes equivalent because every place is defined by what it lacks.

After confirming that once again this is the case, Bernie orders a gin tonic and begins to peruse the lunch menu.

2. The experiences of abandonment & death converge on that of something having been taken from you.

You repeat them twice: once inside relations to others & again in the patterns that shape your view of what it is to be in the world.

For a Spectator, the first can become visible but the second never will. Because of the detachment that is the precondition of spectatorship, the second repetition is pushed into the order of a world which is everywhere the same except for fleeting deviations & the catalogues you make that marks your passage.

Shareholder's meeting

Cynthetiq — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:14:00 GMT

It's really just hysterical.

Okay the shareholder's have voted. I believe that we have a quorum.

I was not greeted by any of the board members that took personal offense to my podcast. The only civil people were the ones that made sense of what was going on.

The word on the street was that the other incumbents were spreading the rumor that I was interested in increasing the maintenance by 10%. Now, I'm a communicator, why would I just do it without wanting to communicate WHY we would have to do an increase of maintenance. Here's another thing, so I want to increase maintenance 10%, if the OTHER board members don't wish to approve the increase, then how can *I* increase maintenance 10%? See the shareholders don't seem to understand this, because well we don't want to teach them to understand.

Really? That's the best they can do? They won't say something like, "We didn't like the fact that he recorded us in plain sight and then posted it on a website for all to listen to!!!!"

So the president spoke about how he's looked over the budget for the next fiscal year. We've never approved the budget, and we were expecting a $1M projected deficit. We are already tracking a $350k deficit in the first quarter. Also, the general manager spoke about how the real estate taxes are going up yet again, as many cities and states are trying to cover their coffers because the other revenue streams aren't able to, like businesses and sales tax. So you've got a great disconnect. So while we currently have $2M in cash, next year, we'll not have any money and we'll have to raise maintenance again and by a large amount.

Since the previous 2 elections we didn't get quorum, we never approved the minutes from the 2007 meeting. Now it's just a formality, but I leaned over and told the only guy who supported me and told him. He then said that I had to tell the lawyer since I knew about it. If not, he'd have to tell the lawyer, fiduciary duty and all. So I walked over to the Lawyer. This is the same lawyer that sent me a letter trying to bully me into taking down my podcast. I whispered it in his ear. He didn't acknowledge what I said, so I hovered beside him. He finally tersely said to me, "I heard you."

A few minutes later, there was commotion on the stage with the president and a couple other people. The lawyer came up to the podium made the announcement to ask if anyone would make the motion to accept the minutes. Well, you can't accept minutes that you don't see. Well you shouldn't just like you should read the fine print. It's just a formality, but if they didn't distribute the minutes, then how could or why would you ask something of someone that isn't there.

It was funny that the lawyer didn't even notice. This isn't the first time he was there.
Here's what I imagine is going to happen, I'm not going to get re-elected. That's just fine by me. Because as an ex-board member, I can then target very specifically things that are important for communication. I can challenge the board in ways that they aren't forward thinking of.

As I listened to the drivel and the drone, I started to wonder why we didn't approve the agenda. That made me think, wait a second. Where is the agenda?

I then imagined in my head what would be on the agenda as we were already knee deep in the meeting.

We'll see what happens, 8 seats 11 members. There will be 3 that don't get on. We'll see just how they manipulate it.

Domestic Intervention

amonkie — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:27:20 GMT

I walked into the breakroom, and a coworker was microwaving his knit hat.

He pulled it out and it was steaming, but still completely soaked. I

I managed to have a conversation with him about why he thought microwaving his hat was the best idea, and walk out straight faced. Retelling the story to another coworker, I laughed so hard I couldn't get it out. Then, I laughed so hard I cried. Then I laughed so hard I got the screeches.

I needed that today... now I gotta go rub off my racoon eyes.

3-d writing

roachboy — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:02:57 GMT

...

The line that is moving across this surface has been twisted such that you only see the top.

The microclimate here the movements of the air, the play of light, the dimensions through which they circulate: all are predictable so long as you hover in a relation that does not approach the granular. And you are just entering this environment. You do not yet know.

I write along the sides of this surface which are turned away from you, which from my viewpoint is the front and the back, using characters which resolve into another sequence when encountered from your viewpoint.

I feel within this procedure a certain freedom. What I want to say is here but you cannot see it. It is influencing what you read, but you cannot know how.

You can turn this surface, but you will not see the substructures. The substructures perform their characteristics across considerable durations. And every time you are here is now. You, reading, remake the twist that was made for you. When you are not here, it gradually comes undone. This is the dynamic that underlay the machinery.

You can turn this surface, but you will not see the substructures.
But you do not need to see them. They leak into your reading.

...

The Song Remains The Same

Dano069 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:31:53 GMT

Still majorly fucked in the head today. At least I'm no longer suicidal, although I do have Suicidal Tendencies (Send Me Your Money, Get Whacked) Of, course not too many peopoe will understand that reference. They're all too young and too busy listening to all the PaRappa The Rapper shiat. Some of it is pretty good, but most of it is crap.

So, I've been trying to work myself out of this hole with some good old fashioned Heavy Metal rock-n-roll. You know, the good stuff. So far though, it's been unsuccessful. Maybe I'm finally hitting my middle age crazy phase (for real this time) Nothing is bringing me pleasure. I killed off my Facebook account. Other than family, and the odd friend of a friend here and there, I had no friends at all. I friended a high school buddy of mine but he never returned the favor. I guess I was/am an asshole D. My only friends these days are the porn sites I visit (Wifeysworld.com and Voyeurweb) Oh, and let's not forget the Flickr Groups. Lots of fun there. :no: :no: :no: :no: :shakehead: :shakehead:

So, what to do, what to do. Have I tipped over the edge? Is it time to up the meds again? Does it really fucking matter any more?

I certainly don't think so.

I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow night

Cynthetiq — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:27:04 GMT

And I don't care.

But here's what I do know:

If I'm still on the board, I'm not the on who is going to write up the minutes. The last time I did it as they claimed last night it was horrible. What's stupid is THEY approved it before it went out. So THEY approved HORRIBLE notes to go out.

They really don't get how a board is supposed to work.

I will be organizing shareholders under a shareholders association. This makes sense because it will be the method to unseat these other old timer fucktards that just don't get it. People who pay big money for their apartments want some services. They expect them. They demand them. In return for creating them, we have to improve the ones that we have, and invent new ones.

The simplest service is respectful communication. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard some board member scream and shout at a shareholder. Good job communicating!

Some places think of it as a shadow board or an insurgent group. That's fine, they can think that. What I know this will be will be something that demands nothing but the best from the board members in a respectful and patient tone. If they don't respond, we vote a slate to remove them. The following year, we run a slate to remove the next set. Rinse and repeat until the change is complete.

countdown to HOME

amonkie — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:26:43 GMT

When I get a fire under my ass, I move. FAST.

I just found a new place today. Among being crazy neighbor and sex offender free, it has:

1) HUGE fenced yard. Labrador tested, landlord has 2 dogs and fosters as well. Dusty won't know what to do with himself

2) HUGE yard with grill, welcome invitation to make myself feel at home

3) Actual 1 bedroom apartment. WHEE!

4) I get to pick the paint color. I'm only barred from Purple or Yellow, other than that, I was told to go to home Depot and bring back the chips I like.

5) Carpet in Bedroom, Hardwoods in living room. I hate waking up and putting my feet on the cold floor. Brr!

6) About a mile closer to work. 1.5 blocks from El train, have 2 different bus routes within 1 block. 25 minute walk from home to work.

7) Screened in back porch. Booyah.

8) Perhaps the best part of all... if I pay cash the rent is only $10 more than what I would be paying if I stayed in my current apartment for another year. The landlord and I already hit it off... talked scuba and camping and hiking and kayaks.

Apartment updates should be completed by Dec 15 ... after I give my paint choices, they're shampooing carpets, deep cleaning, fixing some of the screens on the porch. No security deposit or Pet deposit, just the rental application, paystub info and the references that I provided

Now to just break the news to my neighbor. Maybe I should wait until after Thanksgiving so she doesn't try to kidnap my dog while she's dogsitting and I'm out of the country!

Trivial Sublime

Poppinjay — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:31:12 GMT

YouTube- Flagpole Sitta, Magnificent Tracers or harvey danger?

Yes, more jaaaaaaa. I haven't linked her most recent Lady Gaga knock off, but it's pretty freaking incredible. If it weren't for the fact I hate Lady Gaga, I would post it.

YouTube- It's The End Of The World As We Know It, REM

Lalala. I heart Music stuff.

And also, I feel if you don't agree with me 100% on music taste, there is something wrong with and someone will be by to take you away:

a series of john cage sentences (an excerpt)

roachboy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:45:43 GMT

an excerpt from:
Composition in Retrospect
by John Cage

NONINTENTION (THE ACCEPTANCE OF SILENCE) LEADING TO NATURE; RENUNCIATION OF CONTROL; LET SOUNDS BE SOUNDS.

EACH ACTIVITY IS CENTERED IN ITSELF, I.E., COMPOSITION, PERFORMANCE, AND LISTENING ARE DIFFERENT ACTIVITIES.

(MUSIC IS) INSTANTANEOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE; NOTHING IS ACCOMPLISHED BY WRITING, HEARING, OR PLAYING A PIECE OF MUSIC; OUR EARS ARE NOW IN EXCELLENT CONDITION.

A NEED FOR POETRY.

JOYCE: "COMEDY IS THE GREATEST OF ARTS BECAUSE THE JOY OF COMEDY IS FREEST FROM DESIRE AND LOATHING."

AFFIRMATION OF LIFE.

PURPOSEFUL PURPOSELESSNESS.

ART = IMITATION OF NATURE IN HER MANNER OF OPERATION.

COEXISTENCE OF DISSIMILARS; MULTIPLICITY; PLURALITY OF CENTERS; "SPLIT THE STICK, AND THERE IS JESUS."

ANONYMITY OR SELFLESSNESS OF WORK (I.E., NOT SELF-EXPRESSION).

A WORK SHOULD INCLUDE ITS ENVIRONMENT, IS ALWAYS EXPERIMENTAL (UNKNOWN IN ADVANCE).

FLUENT, PREGNANT, RELATED, OBSCURE (NATURE OF SOUND).

EMPTY MIND.

NO IDEAS OF ORDER.

NO BEGINNING, MIDDLE, OR END (PROCESS, NOT OBJECT).

UNIMPEDEDNESS AND INTERPENETRATION; NO CAUSE AND EFFECT.

INDETERMINACY.

OPPOSITES = PARTS OF ONENESS.

TO THICKEN THE PLOT (RAMAKRISHNA); HIS ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: WHY, IF GOD IS GOOD, IS THERE EVIL IN THE WORLD?

AVENTURE (NEWNESS) NECESSARY TO CREATIVE ACTION.

THE MIND IS DISCIPLINED (BODY TOO), THE HEART TURNS QUICKLY FROM FEAR TOWARDS LOVE (ECKHART).

ANYTHING CAN FOLLOW ANYTHING ELSE (PROVIDING NOTHING IS TAKEN AS THE BASIS).

INFLUENCE DERIVES FROM ONE S OWN WORK (NOT FROM OUTSIDE IT).

CHANCE OPERATIONS ARE A USEFUL MEANS; MOKSHA.

BEING LED BY A PERSON, NOT A BOOK; ARTHA.

LOVE.

RIGHT AND WRONG.

NON-MEASURED TIME.

PROCESS INSTEAD OF OBJECT.

AMERICA HAS A CLIMATE FOR EXPERIMENTATION.

WORLD IS ONE WORLD.

HISTORY IS THE STORY OF ORIGINAL ACTIONS.

MOVE FROM ZERO.

ALL AUDIBLE PHENOMENA = MATERIAL FOR MUSIC.

IMPOSSIBILITY OF ERRORLESS WORK.

SPRING, SUMMER, FALL, WINTER (CREATION, PRESERVATION, DESTRUCTION, QUIESCENCE).

POSSIBILITY OF HELPING BY DOING NOTHING.

MUSIC IS NOT MUSIC UNTIL IT IS HEARD.

MUSIC AND DANCE TOGETHER (AND THEN OTHER TOGETHERS).

MEN ARE MEN; MOUNTAINS ARE MOUNTAINS BEFORE STUDYING ZEN. WHILE STUDYING ZEN, THINGS BECOME CONFUSED. AFTER STUDYING ZEN, MEN ARE MEN; MOUNTAINS ARE MOUNTAINS. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEFORE AND AFTER? NO DIFFERENCE. JUST THE FEET ARE A LITTLE OFF THE GROUND (SUZUKI).

IF STRUCTURE, RHYTHMIC STRUCTURE.

BOREDOM PLUS ATTENTION = BECOMING INTERESTED.

PRINCIPLE UNDERLYING ALL OF THE 50LUTIONS = QUESTION WE ASK.

ACTIVITY, NOT COMMUNICATION.

THE NINE PERMANENT EMOTIONS (THE HEROIC, THE MIRTHFUL, THE WONDROUS, THE EROTIC; TRANQUILLITY; SORROW, FEAR, ANGER, THE ODIOUS).

THE PRACTICALITY OF CHANGING SOCIETY DERIVES FROM THE POSSIBILITY OF CHANGING THE MIND.

THE GIVER OF GIFTS (RETURNING TO THE VILLAGE HAVING EXPERIENCED NO-MINDEDNESS).

STUDYING BEING INTERRUPTED.

NOTHING-IN-BETWEEN.

OBJECT IS FACT NOT SYMBOL (NO IDEAS).

POETRY IS HAVING NOTHING TO SAY AND SAYING IT; WE POSSESS NOTHING.

UNCERTAINTY OF FUTURE.

NOISES (UNDERDOG); CHANGING MUSIC AND SOCIETY.

NOT WORKING = KNOWING. WORKING = NOT KNOWING.

DISTRUST OF EFFECTIVENESS OF EDUCATION.

HCE

IT IS, IS CAUSE FOR JOY.

EARTH HAS NO ESCAPE FROM HEAVEN (ECKHART).

The best live Beatles cover I've ever heard

Baraka_Guru — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:45:32 GMT

I Want You (She's So Heavy)

Falling

sapiens — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:36:50 GMT

I tripped and fell on the walk from bus stop to my work this morning. It happened in slow motion. I thought, "I'm not going to ruin these suit pants". So, I fell directly onto my chest. It's a long fall from 6'4'' to 0'0". It must have been an interesting sight to behold.