vent
Posted 09-09-2008 at 05:49 PM by lotsofmagnets
i just need to get this off my chest. all my friends are in different timezones so i´m on my own right when everything seems to be going wrong.
well, i sent my now ex-friend an email telling her what happened on the trip and that i don´t want to have anything to do with her again. she wasted no time sending me back an message on facebook that ripped through my personality. incredibly, the accusation of wanting to sleep with her was there. so yeah i just lost one of my closest friends and i know the damage is irreparable.
within the same 15 minute timeframe i get a random message from francine that she´s now in a relationship. she finally decided it was going to happen between her and her best friend. i think i had secretly hoped for the impossible but now i can see that it has only been tearing me to shreds. i guess at least that´s closure on that one. then i get to spend 3 weeks in the netherlands in a month. i should still go but perhaps spend very little time in utrecht.
work is a miserable place atm. my boss only left 10 minutes ago. he´s going to work himself to death at this rate. the 2nd in charge got fucked over by the company as did one of my co-workers. they fucked me over a few months ago but i still remember. we are drastically understaffed and i´ll be pulling extra shifts left right and centre. extra money ahoy but this is coming at the expense of my soul i think.
it´s like every worst-case scenario has managed to play itself out at the same time. i´m off to sleep. goodnight.
well, i sent my now ex-friend an email telling her what happened on the trip and that i don´t want to have anything to do with her again. she wasted no time sending me back an message on facebook that ripped through my personality. incredibly, the accusation of wanting to sleep with her was there. so yeah i just lost one of my closest friends and i know the damage is irreparable.
within the same 15 minute timeframe i get a random message from francine that she´s now in a relationship. she finally decided it was going to happen between her and her best friend. i think i had secretly hoped for the impossible but now i can see that it has only been tearing me to shreds. i guess at least that´s closure on that one. then i get to spend 3 weeks in the netherlands in a month. i should still go but perhaps spend very little time in utrecht.
work is a miserable place atm. my boss only left 10 minutes ago. he´s going to work himself to death at this rate. the 2nd in charge got fucked over by the company as did one of my co-workers. they fucked me over a few months ago but i still remember. we are drastically understaffed and i´ll be pulling extra shifts left right and centre. extra money ahoy but this is coming at the expense of my soul i think.
it´s like every worst-case scenario has managed to play itself out at the same time. i´m off to sleep. goodnight.
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Comments
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Holy shit, man. I am so sorry to hear about all this going down at the same time.
I hope you slept well--and that things don't feel as bad when you wake up, or that at least you'll be able to call a good friend and get some support and empathy. Can you travel elsewhere in Europe during your 3 weeks in the Netherlands?... I'd take advantage of that and go places you haven't been...Posted 09-10-2008 at 02:08 AM by abaya
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i really want some "me" time to brood and get over it all but i´m surrounded by ppl (at my own choice) so i´m sorta stuck in a "pretend it never happened" loop. i will be visiting a friend in brussels and some old family friends in luxembourg and perhaps dresden as well but i will spend most of my time in nl. at least now i´ll be there for the right reason - seeing if it´s a good place to live rather than what would have turned out to be the wrong reason - francine. no, i didn´t sleep much last night, got another nightshift tonight (extra shift - there is no-one else tro take them) then working again tomorrow and all weekend. monday off then back on nightshift on tue. fun times...Posted 09-10-2008 at 05:51 AM by lotsofmagnets
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