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Overcoming another hurdle

Meditrina — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:29:29 GMT

He never ceases to amaze me. My son has started to overcome his last hurdle at school. While I know there will be more hurdles in the future, knowing that he was able to conquer his fears now should help him with any new ones. Today, the gym teacher was going to take him out of class in order to show him what they would be doing in gym class later in the day. He was clearly nervous about this (didn't want to go to sleep last night and didn't want to wake up this morning). I tried calling the gym teacher, but only got her answering machine. When I picked him up from school, he ran to greet me with the biggest grin. I asked if he had something to share with me. At first, he said no. I asked him if Mrs. Smith came to get him this morning. He said "No, but I did it anyway". Did what? "Did the centers in gym", as if it was no big deal. I think I hurt him when I hugged him :D He says he will do it again tomorrow. This has been an amazing school year for him and it's only October! We still have 8 months left. Oh, and he did not ask for a toy because he did the activities in gym. The social worker had suggested (in front of him) that I get him something when he does art and gym. I'd rather the reward be the good feeling that he has because he beat his fear.

An art teacher who cares

Meditrina — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:46:30 GMT

has brightened my dreary rainy day. She took the time with my son during extra help this morning and worked with him on last week's project. You see, my son has anxieties that prevented him from doing the work in art class. He has struggled with this since kindergarten (he is now in 2nd grade). Last year was a big year for him when he finally started doing the classwork IN class instead of at home. This year, the last 2 missing pieces are art and gym. We decided it was best to work on one at a time and since his art teacher showed concern and interest in helping him, we took her up on her offer. No one expected him to create the whole project in one sitting. But this is what she wrote to me:

Quote:

I just wanted to send you a note to let you know that E did come to Art extra help today. He came right in and helped me put out the chairs and immediately began a conversation with me. This was the first time that I have heard E speak. He was happy and talkative the entire time. He completed the class project from last week from start to finish with very little help at all. He remembered every step from class last Thursday. I am so happy that he has made such huge progress. I am looking forward to having him in Art class today and I will continue to invite him to extra help based on his progress.

I am so proud and happy that I could just cry. Happy tears, of course. I can't wait to hear what happens during actual art class today. :D I will be writing a letter to the school praising Mrs. B for the time, effort and caring she has for my son. People need to know this!

What was I thinking?

Meditrina — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:40:28 GMT

Now that I am ready to begin looking again, I have a lot to learn. This was the first lesson of many.

My tenants are much younger than me, and they are very nice. I am glad they took the apartment. He is a volunteer fireman with volunteer fireman friends. :D So last night, I was taking out the recyclable items. As I made it down the stairs, one of his friends, one of his older friends, asked me if I needed help. Not thinking, I said "no, thanks, I got it". The :doh: didn't hit me until I was done and went back upstairs. Here was a pretty good looking fireman offering to help me and I said "no, thanks". WTF was I thinking??? or in this case, not thinking!! So lesson learned. When a good looking man asks to help me, SAY YES!!

Somebody to Love

Meditrina — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:04:41 GMT

This song got to my heart this morning.

YouTube - Queen- Somebody to Love

Somebody To Love lyrics

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody,(somebody) somebody(somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Gospel Choir - Roger, Brian & Freddie

Fighting the blues tonight

Meditrina — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:54:31 GMT

and I don't know why. I wanted to get drunk tonight. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to see someone in chat that always makes me feel better. I am on beer #2 and none of the above has happened. and I just feel blue. :sad:

My face is red

Meditrina — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 17:06:56 GMT

from embarrassment. The word has gone out about my promotion. The director announced it today, after I signed all the paperwork yesterday. I can't even get a cup of coffee without someone saying something to me. It is not easy for me to have a spotlight on like that. I can feel my face turning red each time. It took me a long time, but I can now just say "thank you" and keep walking.

So there you have it. It is official now. Hopefully to be seen in my check in 2 weeks. :)

I need to exercise

Meditrina — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:35:09 GMT

Did I just say that? wow. I never thought I would feel the need to exercise, but there it is. Plain as day. In the past, I have started to use my exercise bike and then for whatever reason, I stopped. Laziness? perhaps. But then the feeling surfaces again, like now, and I need to start again.

How do I get into a routine of doing it and never stopping? I am tempted to wake up even earlier than I do now, so I can ride for 15-20 minutes every morning before I shower. As is, I wake up at 5:15am and my cat likes to wake me earlier. So maybe waking at 5am, or 4:45, won't be so bad. I already know I don't want to do it at night, after the kids are in bed... or maybe that would be better. Maybe that would give me the energy to stay awake longer (gotta be able to chat, you know). I'd have to force myself to do it though. By the time they are in bed, I am not in the mood to do any thing. So maybe the morning would be better? I guess I can try that time first. Maybe that would give me the boost I need to get my day started.

Question: Do I *have* to wear sneakers to ride my exercise bike? or can I just hop out of bed and start riding in my pj's and no sneakers?

Little things that feel weird

Meditrina — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:03:40 GMT

Wednesday was open house at my son's school. My ex came to the house to stay with the kids while I went to the school. He was there for dinner. He offered to do the dishes and then asked the kids to play a game with him. (remember - these were things he didn't do before). The next day he emailed me to thank me for letting him watch the kids, that he had fun and was amazed at how well our son reads. He really didn't need to thank me, he is their father and the first person I'd ask to come stay with the kids when I go out. Don't get me wrong, it's great that he is finally taking an interest in them. Just sad that it came about because we are separated. And it felt weird having him at the house, acting like a normal family.

Then today. He emailed me.

Quote:

Do u need boots for the winter? I got a deal through the place that I got winter gloves from for women's boots if u need I'll get them for u.

Does this mean he is paying for them? My first thought was "why not get them for your girlfriend?". Maybe it's just me. but this seemed a little weird too. But then I had an idea. Our daughter wears adult size shoes. He can get them for her if she needs. Weirdness solved. I just think I'd feel awkward taking anything from him for myself, but it's ok for our daughter.

Do either of these things mean anything? In the scheme of things, no. They just left me feeling awkward and I needed to blog it out my mind.

Concentrate on this Sentence

Meditrina — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:27:46 GMT

Quote:

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.' When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.' Something good will happen to you today; something that you have been waiting to hear.

This is not a joke; someone will call you by phone or will speak to you about something that you were waiting to hear. Do not break!

Send it to a minimum of 2 people... JUST DO IT!

This was an email that my parents sent to me. I don't ever forward these types of emails on, let alone read them, but for some reason this one caught my attention. Probably because it was from my parents. I still won't forward it. I just liked what it said. It seemed to relate to my life.

Thing taken away: my marriage
something better received: self-confidence, closeness to my children, independence
Something I am waiting to hear about: my job. My new boss asked for an updated resume in order to make changes to my job description. I am hopeful that will mean a promotion and/or more money. So far, everyone in management in this department is very pleased with my work since my boss retired.

When one door closes, another opens. and I am going through that door with my head held high!

Organization and Confidence

Meditrina — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 16:59:05 GMT

Earlier this week, I got mad at myself for being jealous of my sister's clean house. I realized that instead of sitting around and getting depressed, I should get off my ass and do something about it. So I did. I spent less time on Facebook and more time cleaning/organizing. I cleared out the linen closet and made it more of a storage closet/litter closet. This enabled me to get the litter out of the bathroom (hoping that will make it easier to keep the bathroom clean). I went through all the old towels and sheets and got rid of the ones I no longer need, the good towels went into the bathroom, sheets went into the appropriate bedroom. The closet looks so neat now, I am so happy that I did that. I even found some things I forgot I had! Next up, the kitchen. It became a catch-all for things I didn't know where to put. Time to de-clutter, organize and simplify. This realization and the fact that I acted upon it leaves me with a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Actually, I am feeling all different kinds of things this week. Last night, in chat, I did something that I have never done (well, not sober anyway) but it was something *I* wanted to do. No one forced me, persuaded maybe, but not forced. I felt so good afterwards, it was as if I was standing outside of myself watching, doing something that was clearly out of the norm, for me. I was giddy with the knowledge that I was bold enough to do it, I didn't even need to have a drink. I want to thank those that were in chat, for being patient with me, and gently persuading me to come out of my shell. This self-confidence that I am beginning to feel has shown itself in other areas of my life as well. My daughter sees me as a person who does not give up, who loves her children, and other things that she wrote them down for me, it was so sweet. My boss is saying I will be promoted soon. He is still trying to figure out the logistics of combining my area (which is just me) with another section of our office (5 people). Today we met and I was hoping that he'd have some answers about this, but not yet. He did ask me for an updated resume. When they rework my position description they will need this. I am still not sure what it means, who will be in charge at the end, but I am feeling good about it. I know that I am giving this job my all and they know that too. I should at least get another raise, since now I am doing my job and my old boss' job. We shall see what happens...

Back from visiting family

Meditrina — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:25:51 GMT

Over 1400 miles in a week's time. I am exhausted. But I did it. and the kids were great. Gotta love portable DVD players and Nintendo DS. :thumbsup: I came back with mixed emotions and I feel like crying. I felt so alone while driving, even with the kids in the back seat. Work is going to be insane this week and I don't want to go back. My sister's house is beautiful, even with 3 kids. and my sister-in-law's house is even nicer, but she has money. Then I come back to this place. All crammed in, disorganized, crazy cat running all over. My daughter is freakin out about school starting Wednesday. and I found out that a co-worker passed away yesterday. She had been sick for at least 3 months, maybe more. I don't want to go to work.

Taking a trip with friends

Meditrina — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:13:20 GMT

I am so excited and also a little nervous. But I switched weekends with my ex so I can go to Atlantic City with some co-workers. The price was perfect. $35 for the bus and I get $30 to play the slots!! woo hoo!! We will be in AC for 6 hours before heading back home. I'd love to go for longer, but this is a good start. My friend has never gambled, so I need to start her slow. :) Who knows, maybe she will really like it and we can go back another time on our own.

As stressed and upset as I was over the weekend, I am starting to feel a bit freer. It is a good, although a bit scary, feeling. And work is starting to come together too. I am understanding more of what I am doing, and feeling confident when answering questions. My new boss is very supportive and wants to make sure I feel comfortable enough to take vacation when I need to (which just happens to be next week :) )

It is such a roller coaster ride, this thing they call life. And I hate roller coasters. But this one I think I will stay on for awhile longer. I think there are good things ahead for me.

edited to add: The trip is not until September.

Learn from Failure Daily Inspiration

Meditrina — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:47:49 GMT

Quote:

Failure is something most of us would like to avoid. Unfortunately, we all experience it periodically in our lives - but we can learn from it. Sometimes the failure is inconsequential, like when you lose a friendly card game. Other times our failures carry more serious consequences, like when you fail to fulfill your marriage vows. In both of these extremes, failure can be a great teacher as well as a great dispenser of emotional pain.

Failure is defined as the act, state or fact of failing. It�s also thought of as the exact opposite of success. However, failure isn�t necessarily the arch-nemesis of success. As the great Henry Ford wrote, �Failure is simply the opportunity to start again more intelligently.� With that said, my message to you today is simple: Don�t let failure end your dreams and stop you in your tracks. It simply shows you one more way that doesn�t work. The key to finding success is to use failure wisely by learning from it and moving forward.

Wishing You Great Health,
Dr. John H. Sklare
The Inner Diet - Dieting and Weight Loss Program

link

Vision Troubles and Fatigue

Meditrina — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 02:24:48 GMT

As I was chatting with my sister, I told her about my new eyeglasses. We both kinda wondered if the problems with my eyes could be causing my fatigue. So I went to WebMD and looked up astigmatism, this is what the doctor said I have. and this is what I found, and I didn't have to search far to find it:

What Are the Symptoms of Astigmatism?

People with undetected astigmatism often experience headaches, fatigue, eyestrain and blurred vision at all distances.

Do I experience headaches? Yes, on a daily basis
Fatigue? ask anyone in chat - I usually fall asleep at the computer before 10pm, and I struggle to keep my head up when I am driving home from work.
Eyestrain? without a doubt, all the time
Blurred vision at all distances? yep, got that too. Can't read street signs and I had to increase the font on my computers.

So maybe *some* of my fatigue is caused by this. It does kinda coincide with my last eye exam (2001), the length of time I have been complaining about being tired, and the beginnings of our marital issues. Tomorrow, I go pick up my eyeglasses, and I can hardly wait to see how long it takes to start feeling better. I will take a photo and post it tomorrow.

Here is your horoscope

Meditrina — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 12:50:04 GMT

Quote:

for Thursday, August 6:
You aren't feeling all that great about how things have been going lately, and you almost certainly need to deal with something big that seems as if it might be ignored by everyone else.

I don't normally pay attention to my horoscopes, but this one is dead on. I am *not* feeling good about certain things and it is tearing me apart trying to figure out what it means and how to handle it.