and I don't know why. I wanted to get drunk tonight. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to see someone in chat that always makes me feel better. I am on beer #2 and none of the above has happened. and I just feel blue.

from embarrassment. The word has gone out about my promotion. The director announced it today, after I signed all the paperwork yesterday. I can't even get a cup of coffee without someone saying something to me. It is not easy for me to have a spotlight on like that. I can feel my face turning red each time. It took me a long time, but I can now just say "thank you" and keep walking.

So there you have it. It is official now. Hopefully to be seen in my check in 2 weeks.

I have kept away from watching any tear jerking love story sappy movies for the last 3 months. I thought that was long enough. I was wrong. Without the kids this weekend, and with it being a rainy Sunday, I stayed home and didn't feel like doing anything. I kept the TV on for company. It was bad company. It made me cry. First, Ghost was on. That can make you cry no matter what, add to that the fact that Patrick is dead..... yeah, not a pretty sight in my house. Follow that with 7 Things to Do Before I am 30 and you have a recipe for disaster. Stupid sappy movies. I knew that would happen to me. Luckily, after those movies, I found The Rock. Nothing like a nice violent movie to get all the sappiness out of my head. Follow that with Gone in 60 Seconds and I was good, or at least better. There were still remnants of the sappiness floating about.

All of those emotions that surfaced yesterday made me feel insecure and worried. Worried that the one person I don't want to...

I just received an invite to a meeting with my boss to discuss "Re-org of HRIS/EE Records". This is about me and my promotion. He must have finally received the approvals he needed. I am nervous, even though I knew it was coming. Tomorrow night I hope to be celebrating!

Did I just say that? wow. I never thought I would feel the need to exercise, but there it is. Plain as day. In the past, I have started to use my exercise bike and then for whatever reason, I stopped. Laziness? perhaps. But then the feeling surfaces again, like now, and I need to start again.

How do I get into a routine of doing it and never stopping? I am tempted to wake up even earlier than I do now, so I can ride for 15-20 minutes every morning before I shower. As is, I wake up at 5:15am and my cat likes to wake me earlier. So maybe waking at 5am, or 4:45, won't be so bad. I already know I don't want to do it at night, after the kids are in bed... or maybe that would be better. Maybe that would give me the energy to stay awake longer (gotta be able to chat, you know). I'd have to force myself to do it though. By the time they are in bed, I am not in the mood to do any thing. So maybe the morning would be better? I guess I can try that time first. Maybe that would give...