Drowning
Posted 05-10-2009 at 09:13 PM by *Nikki*
Sometimes I feel like I am being held underwater.
That is the most accurate way to describe this. I keep waiting for things to get better, without me having to actually do anything to make it so.
My husband and I celebrated our 4th Wedding Anniversary (six years together total) this past week. This was a record for me, as my previous longest relationship was almost six years.
I wrote him a card and as I was writing it I found myself crying. I couldn't figure out if I was crying because I felt strongly about what I was saying to him, or if I was lost and just saying things I knew I should. I am so confused. I don't think I have ever felt quite this crazed before.
I don't know how to put in words this confusion that I feel. This is a first for me. All I can do is dance around what I really want to say.
It seems like we fight so often, but it's not so much fighting, as me voicing my displeasure with him. I wonder if anyone can ever satisfy me.
I feel as though the rubber band is cutting off the circulation.
That is the most accurate way to describe this. I keep waiting for things to get better, without me having to actually do anything to make it so.
My husband and I celebrated our 4th Wedding Anniversary (six years together total) this past week. This was a record for me, as my previous longest relationship was almost six years.
I wrote him a card and as I was writing it I found myself crying. I couldn't figure out if I was crying because I felt strongly about what I was saying to him, or if I was lost and just saying things I knew I should. I am so confused. I don't think I have ever felt quite this crazed before.
I don't know how to put in words this confusion that I feel. This is a first for me. All I can do is dance around what I really want to say.
It seems like we fight so often, but it's not so much fighting, as me voicing my displeasure with him. I wonder if anyone can ever satisfy me.
I feel as though the rubber band is cutting off the circulation.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Love is a verb, not an adjective. It is a conscious choice of action that you have to make. Every. Single. Day. Every relationship has enough to kick it to death, and it sounds like you haven't decided whether you love him enough to make the choice to actively love him every day.Posted 05-11-2009 at 03:39 AM by amonkie
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Sometimes I have to act as if, because many times I just don't feel like it.
I'm up to 7 years of marriage, I don't know how long we've been together, maybe 10-11-12 years? I've known her for 14. I've not lived with anyone longer that wasn't my immediate family and that was growing up.
Sometimes I have to just explain that I'm in a funk and that it's just what it is. Nothing will make it better until it just passes.
If you can't be yourself at home, where can you be?Posted 05-11-2009 at 03:30 PM by Cynthetiq
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