A Plague 'O Nerds O'er The Land!
Posted 10-26-2009 at 01:32 PM by Poppinjay
I went to the local costume parade this Sunday. The overwhelming majority of costumes were Star Wars related. The... I guess not so amazing thing in retrospect is that the parent's costumes were better than the kids. I was especially charmed by a bespectacled, shallow chested Obi Wan with a patchy five day growth of fungus or beard. An ewok could have kicked his ass and shoved his lightsaber up Mrs. Kenobi's full functional death star.
Funny how anything can sound like a euphemism for sex, unless it's Star Wars related.
All the Star Wars folk had their little daughters dressed up as Princess Leia. The version with the ear muff hairdo, not the Revenge of The Jedi version. That would be sick and exploitative.
Second to Star Wars was the complete student body of Hogwarts, including an 8 foot tall Hagrid, and Dumbledore. Again, the adult cosutmes outshone the kids. Especially since the kid playing Harry was suavely picking his nose and fussing over the eyeglasses. What, he couldn't say accio booger?
The third most common costume was NASA. NASA baby carriages that looked like the shuttle (just... wrong, considering 30 percent of the fleet exploded in space or near it), with the parents wearing their actual NASA lab coats, and kids in the flight suits (which went on sale at the Air and Space museum). An extension of the mindset, "oh, it'll be so cute to dress up little Kip like he works where I work!"
Which is a gross mistreatment of the kids and an impossible predicament for accountants. When our bundle of energy is ready for costumes, I, for one, do not plan to dress him as a professional hobo. So, break the cycle America.
During the parade, a local church had its youth hand out fliers for a keen Halloween experience. Forget that candy and don't take a chance on ringing the doorbell of a fornicator, come to church in your optional costume (no goblins, witches, or ghosts). Play games and swallow wieners. The party is sponsored by the church's teen pregnancy and prevention committee.
I know where I'll be!
Funny how anything can sound like a euphemism for sex, unless it's Star Wars related.
All the Star Wars folk had their little daughters dressed up as Princess Leia. The version with the ear muff hairdo, not the Revenge of The Jedi version. That would be sick and exploitative.
Second to Star Wars was the complete student body of Hogwarts, including an 8 foot tall Hagrid, and Dumbledore. Again, the adult cosutmes outshone the kids. Especially since the kid playing Harry was suavely picking his nose and fussing over the eyeglasses. What, he couldn't say accio booger?
The third most common costume was NASA. NASA baby carriages that looked like the shuttle (just... wrong, considering 30 percent of the fleet exploded in space or near it), with the parents wearing their actual NASA lab coats, and kids in the flight suits (which went on sale at the Air and Space museum). An extension of the mindset, "oh, it'll be so cute to dress up little Kip like he works where I work!"
Which is a gross mistreatment of the kids and an impossible predicament for accountants. When our bundle of energy is ready for costumes, I, for one, do not plan to dress him as a professional hobo. So, break the cycle America.
During the parade, a local church had its youth hand out fliers for a keen Halloween experience. Forget that candy and don't take a chance on ringing the doorbell of a fornicator, come to church in your optional costume (no goblins, witches, or ghosts). Play games and swallow wieners. The party is sponsored by the church's teen pregnancy and prevention committee.
I know where I'll be!
Total Comments 5
Comments
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This was a really amusing read.Posted 10-26-2009 at 01:41 PM by Plan9
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there was a child dressed as a pimp at the halloween event we went to...the announcer didn't quite know how to handle that one...he ended up calling him a 'man of the night'
needless to say, he didn't win.Posted 10-26-2009 at 02:16 PM by mixedmedia
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Ha! *I* want that title, "Man Of The Night". Sounds like Batman.Posted 10-26-2009 at 02:52 PM by Poppinjay
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I will not facebook your blogs.
I will not facebook your blogs.
I will not facebook your blogs.Posted 10-26-2009 at 04:06 PM by Xerxys 
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We will be having a Halloween party for the kiddos at the church where I work, but we're having it on Friday night (no preempting trick or treating for us--we trick or treat for Unicef, after all), you can dress up as whatever you like (I expect to see a few witches and vampires, personally) and it's sponsored by our high school youth group
Yay, Methodists! It's going to be way cooler than that church's lame ass party!Posted 10-26-2009 at 04:46 PM by snowy
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