'cuz no one gives a shit anyway.
Dear houseguests, It's really simple.....
Posted 03-08-2009 at 11:43 AM by Push-Pull
1) If you drink/eat down a bottle/carton/glass/etc of *whatever* and there's only a tiny bit left, just FINISH IT OFF instead of putting it back in the fridge.
2) If you find something fuzzy/stale/inedible in a bag/tupperware/box in the fridge, THROW IT OUT.
3) If you find a trash can full of trash, close the bag and TAKE IT OUT. And put ANOTHER FUCKIN' BAG IN IT!!!
4) And, while we're on trash, for the fuckin' 10th goddam time, if the trash barrel isn't out on the street on Sunday and Wednesday evenings, TAKE IT DOWN. (Of course, because it's under YOUR window, I'll be happy to take it down when I get home at 3 a.m. as a *gentle* reminder that you forgot.)
5) If the dishwasher is FULL and HAS NOT been run, pick up the dishwashing soap, put it in the little compartment for it in the dishwasher, and hit the "RUN" button.
6) If the dishwasher is FULL and HAS been run, then kindly put all the clean dishes where they belong.
7) If you open a drawer/cupboard and find that the particular piece of silver/table/glass ware you were looking for isn't there, then please recheck #'s 5 and 6.
8) Just because OUR large screen television works does NOT mean that we want it left on when you are not in the room.
9) You can see well enough with the nightlight in the kitchen to pour a glass of whatever at o'dark thirty. Really, I've done it, and the wife's done it. You really don't need to light up the whole house.
10) If you leave a room after fulfilling your purpose in said room, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND ANY OTHER ELECTRIFIED OBJECTS THAT AREN'T IN USE.
I know that you are trying to get your lives back on track, but when you live here FULL TIME WITHOUT JOBS, it should stand to reason that you have waaaay more time than I do to keep the above items in check. And do NOT expect for my wife to do anymore than she did before you got here. You guys are capable, you just refuse to demonstrate it. Keep this up, and you might find all your shit strapped to the top of your car and us waving in the rear view mirror.
You have been warned.
2) If you find something fuzzy/stale/inedible in a bag/tupperware/box in the fridge, THROW IT OUT.
3) If you find a trash can full of trash, close the bag and TAKE IT OUT. And put ANOTHER FUCKIN' BAG IN IT!!!
4) And, while we're on trash, for the fuckin' 10th goddam time, if the trash barrel isn't out on the street on Sunday and Wednesday evenings, TAKE IT DOWN. (Of course, because it's under YOUR window, I'll be happy to take it down when I get home at 3 a.m. as a *gentle* reminder that you forgot.)
5) If the dishwasher is FULL and HAS NOT been run, pick up the dishwashing soap, put it in the little compartment for it in the dishwasher, and hit the "RUN" button.
6) If the dishwasher is FULL and HAS been run, then kindly put all the clean dishes where they belong.
7) If you open a drawer/cupboard and find that the particular piece of silver/table/glass ware you were looking for isn't there, then please recheck #'s 5 and 6.
8) Just because OUR large screen television works does NOT mean that we want it left on when you are not in the room.
9) You can see well enough with the nightlight in the kitchen to pour a glass of whatever at o'dark thirty. Really, I've done it, and the wife's done it. You really don't need to light up the whole house.
10) If you leave a room after fulfilling your purpose in said room, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS AND ANY OTHER ELECTRIFIED OBJECTS THAT AREN'T IN USE.
I know that you are trying to get your lives back on track, but when you live here FULL TIME WITHOUT JOBS, it should stand to reason that you have waaaay more time than I do to keep the above items in check. And do NOT expect for my wife to do anymore than she did before you got here. You guys are capable, you just refuse to demonstrate it. Keep this up, and you might find all your shit strapped to the top of your car and us waving in the rear view mirror.
You have been warned.
Total Comments 4
Comments
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was this for houseguests or children?
sucks that grown people don't know basic things.Posted 03-08-2009 at 12:13 PM by guccilvr
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Sounds like my parents needed to read this. They just left today. You would think I WAS THE PARENT.Posted 03-08-2009 at 02:32 PM by *Nikki* 
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Wait....you have a dishwasher? That's awesome.Posted 03-08-2009 at 09:26 PM by Baraka_Guru
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We went through something similar when my parents stayed with us a couple of times. They like to sleep with their tv on in their room. I don't like paying for the electricity for that, and our bedroom was directly above theirs. Both their tv and their snoring through it kept us awake until all hours of the night. We also noticed that our heating bill tripled. It went from running a few hours a day when we were home to running almost non stop during the winter (even at night if they couldn't sleep).
I'm going to relabel this "Dear Kids..." and post it on my fridge.
I would label it "Dear Hubby and Kids..." but I probably wouldn't be able to have sex for a while if I did that.
I wish you luck, Push-Pull, and send a hug. If I'm ever in their situation, I hope I'm not the houseguest from Hell.Posted 03-08-2009 at 11:36 PM by ItWasMe
Updated 03-08-2009 at 11:42 PM by ItWasMe
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