We have these scholastic reviews every week, and once a month we take a test that encompasses the previous three weeks as well as what we should have retained from the academy. We get two shots at each test, and a second failure at any particular test means termination. So we do the third monthly test last Wednesday. I failed. Missed it by literally 1 question. I was devastated. I went from 92% or so down to a 68%. So now I've got a retest on this Wednesday, and it literally could mean the end of my job. I've studied my ass off the past several days cramming everything I can into my brain hoping it sticks.

The bad part, I'm scheduled for swings tonight (Tuesday) which means I won't be getting home, much less to bed, before 2 a.m.. And then I have to be back by 7 a.m. to take the retest. Count an hour drive in there, and I'll be lucky if I get 4 hours sleep, not to mention when do I get a chance to study before the test. And I feel like I'm coming down with a...

I've spent the past 20+ years developing a way of communication that was very effective and suited my situation.

Now that I've changed careers, the rapid fire "let's get this done" way of communicating is obsolete. Kaput. Dead. I've gotta start all over again.

Simply put, I need to keep my mouth shut, listen, and *think* before saying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Guess I'm just tired of wondering if I asked a question in the most appropriate manner, or if I should have even said *whatever*. I'm definitely tired of the taste of my foot.....

I just spent some time reading over the "elections" and "politics" sections of this great site. And you know what? I give up. I never really did contribute here in those forums, but that's because I treat this site like I treat people I know and respect. I simply don't prefer to discuss things that would cause that much friction.

Is it a cop-out? Maybe. But I'm much more likely to keep using this site if I'm not in a written fist-e-cuffs with 20 other forum members. Same as with my friends.

And I can imagine someone asking me, "But how are you going to improve the world if you're not willing to fight?" To that I reply that I'm doing my part in my own way, and it doesn't involve getting into a shouting match that reaches rock-concert volumes in 1.6 seconds.

That's what I don't get. How can we consider all this debate useful? It simply isn't productive screaming at each other at the top of your lungs...

Just finished up my second week at the station, and let me tell you, I couldn't be happier with my choices and hardships for the past several months. This job is so much more than I thought it would be. Yes, maybe the "new" hasn't worn off, and that it's just a matter of time before it gets "old". But as one supervisor mentioned to me, it's the people who have perspective that make the most out of this job, and let me tell you, I don't think I've ever seen the grass this green. I mean, in the past 10 work days, we went out hiking, tracking, 4 wheeling (including getting stuck/unstuck), and generally exploring for 5 of them. And while we didn't save the US from terrorists (yet), we did do our part to send back 4 illegals. (Oops, sorry, "undocumented immigrants") And there will be plenty more, so for my group, the fun has just begun. And really, the only "hardship" I need to endure is surviving my 18 month probationary period. ...

Then I have 9 days off! Four weekend days, and 5 days of admin leave. Of course, after that, I won't have any time off for a while, and I'll be stuck working the holidays and such. But at least I won't be 400 miles away, and I come home each night.

For right now, I'm enjoying the 3 day weekend with my wife, and just doing whatever I feel like, which is a nice feeling.