I didn't win!!!!

I'm so happy that I didn't get re-elected because well, I can do more damage to them outside than I can inside. I know that the accomplishments I have had over the years is a nice feather in the cap.

We balanced the budget. Held financial meetings to explain where we were and how we got there. We renovated the playgrounds, the children's indoor playroom. We renovated the laundry room. We made a feeble attempt at communications. Made regular maintenance increases as our budget increased. We called for reductions in the budget across all accounts. We demanded that all vendors take a adjusted price, or we called out for open bids. We adjusted our budget so that we could have a positive $1M cash position.

As it currently stands, we're tracking a $1.2M annual deficit. We'll see just how well the new board figures out how to get out of that bind.

This also means that they took in 2 people that they really didn't want...

I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted in my journal...nearly a month. Things with Matt are still going a long, we leave in 5 weeks for Japan which is very exciting.

It's hard to describe how things are. I made the mistake of giving him his first BJ and now that's almost the only thing he wants sexually. Of course that's an exaggeration however he does want them often. Stupid on my part since I hate giving them. I had 4 papers due this week. I've kept off my ankle since my last post. Tomorrow I'm going to work out for the first time on it since the Dr. visit. Hope it goes well, I've been going crazy not working out. Matt still seems so very much in love with me it blows my mind. Although I have noticed a couple times this 4th month together that we have had a few more arguments. I have this annoying tendency to take many things the wrong way, and on a personal level. This is something I need to break or I fear it could break the relationship. He said it won't...

To give you some background as to why I'm concerned about my fiduciary responsibility. I put this website up to campaign for re-election and recorded candidates night. I put it up on a password protected entry and you had to contact me to get the password. Anyways the incumbent board members were pissed off that I made them look bad since well, they didn't bother to campaign or try to communicate with people. Anyways, the other candidates and the shareholders were quite happy to know that there was someone trying to communicate in a more modern way than the one off emails we get to take lawn chairs off the balcony when nor'easters come, or the piece of paper telling us it's hot and that the community room is being a cooldown center during heat waves. We get papers taped to the elevator banks 24 hours before Jewish holiday because the office is going to be closed....

I was going to go to the ballot counting, but you know what. I really don't give a shit. In fact the more I think about it the more I prefer not to be encumbered by "fiduciary duty."

I'm trying to find out when that ends so that I can blab blab blab blab blab blab.

recently i was given a copy of journals that my father (who died in 2001 or 2002) kept from the mid 1970s through the early 90s. i had heard about them but hadn't seen them before.

as i've been reading through them, my head has been getting tweaked in odd ways, setting up strange resonances that i am not quite sure what to do with.
i wrote this earlier today and it really didn't help any of that. if anything, it made the resonances worse.

in 3-d i talk pretty directly about what's on my mind. when i write, it seems like there's always more than one layer and that sometimes the layer that's causing more of the turmoils is submerged, chattering through the details of the surface story, bending it around.

by the way, bernie is my father. by the time he started writing the journals, he had come to dislike that nickname. he preferred the french pronunciation of bernard. i'm not sure why he became bernie in the following. this has something...