These blog entries are boring as dried mud, I know. But they are helping me keep track of the change I decided to shoot for a couple of months ago. I'll do one more when I have my 52nd birthday next month, then keep this particular self-involvement out of the direct gaze of TFP. Besides, when I start to scale back from those 45 minute stints on the treadmill I might start blimping up again. Hate to share my regression with the virtual world

age: 51
height: 5' 11"
weight: 193.4 lbs
BMI: 27
BMR: 7646 kJ
1827 kcal
Impedance: 388 ohms
fat %: 19.8%
fat mass: 38.2 lb
ffm: 155.2 lb
tbw: 113.6 lb
..............
desirable range
fat % 11-22%
fat mass 19.0 - 43.4 lb

Lost 3.6 pounds since the last check-in. A total of 5 pounds of fat lost this past month. I like the change from 21.9% to 19.8% body fat. One pound of water gained and I have added half a pound of muscle...

8 (eight) years it's been. I put these in my briefcase to deliver to D:



I stopped at the Pentagon City metro so we could exchange salutations over the gate, so I wouldn't have to re-pay the fare.

Yes, it sometimes boils down to saving $1.85. These are the things I think of when a person posts that after six months the magic is gone, that they "love but are not in love" with their SO.

She put them on her desk and sent me a pic further up the line.



I saw this while out working on Monday:

...

A. A room. Where you are.
B. A room where you are.
C. Passageways.
D. The walls that move with air currents. The walls you cannot see. The walls you walk into. The traps.
E. A room. Where you are next.
E. A room next to where you are.


Problem:
How to get from A or B to E or E without walking into D.
The lighting is indeterminate.

Game 1: You have a map.
Game 2: You do not have a map.
Game 3: You have a map, but not of this place.

I'm exhausted and trying to still keep it together.

I've got work, I've got home, I've got family.

I'm juggling everything pretty well at the moment. There are sometimes moments when it looks like I won't catch or toss the ball when needed.

But I'm back from vacation, a bit more educated on how the family dynamic works and why I just don't want to be with my family and why I don't think I want to have my own family beyond my wife.

Spain was amazing. I'll have to post about that later.

I had not seen my Uncle John since I was 14 or 15 years old. For much of the memorial service, which unfolded like a Quaker meeting in a parish hall in the space between a long table atop which was arrayed a collection of photographs around the box which contained his ashes at the front and another table at the back on which there were egg salad sandwiches or cookies, I did not know what to say to him.
Finally, near the end, I introduced myself.
As we shook hands, his face lit up and he said how nice it was to see me.
I in turn said the same.
Then the situation shifted.

Now, later, I am sitting in my car with the top down at the edge of a parking lot waiting for my step-sister to leave the service so I can go back to Bill's house, pick up the few items my brother and I were to take, and head toward home.
To either side the brick buildings that were once the Haverhill Academy, a school long shuttered about which I know nothing apart...