I tripped and fell on the walk from bus stop to my work this morning. It happened in slow motion. I thought, "I'm not going to ruin these suit pants". So, I fell directly onto my chest. It's a long fall from 6'4'' to 0'0". It must have been an interesting sight to behold.

Long drive to Chicago. 28 hours. Avoided music and the associated memories. Audiobooks did little to shorten the drive across the desert. Felt disconnected. Pushed the stress into a ball and buried it in my gut. Wife and children were not comfortable there. In the end, I couldn’t. Disconnecting further from my family while living so far away would not lead anywhere good.

Furnished apartment sublet. Definitions of furnished differ. Bare walls, a couch for a bed. Not very warm. Hyde Park is a grocery store wasteland. Look forward to moving north.

Look forward to talking to my kids tonight. Son parrots everything daughter says on the phone. Surprised he can talk on the phone at all. Internet and webcam ordered.

My wife is very passionate about her work. She wants to work in academia. Jobs in academia in her field are few and far between. I'm not nearly as passionate about my own career. I worked in academia. I didn't find it particularly rewarding. I have trouble finding meaning and value in my life outside of my family.

It was an easy decision. A year and a half ago, I quit my job in academia so that my wife could take a job in her field. We moved to the desert.

I spent 10 months unemployed in the desert. I was a stay-at-home dad for much of that time. I was happy. Taking care of my daughter and son was satisfying. I learned a lot about them. I enjoyed being the "go to" parent for "boo boos" and middle of the night fears. If my kids never grew up, I was set for life. Unfortunately, kids grow up. I didn't like the uncertainty of the future. I wanted something more. Independent of my own concerns about my kids and the future,...

I own 4 pairs of dress pants, 4 dress shirts, and 15 ties. 4 + 4 + 15 = 3 outfits that do not clash. I start work in an office in two weeks.

I also own 10 pairs of shorts, 20+ t-shirts, and 3 pairs of sandals. I have a feeling that adjusting to a Chicago winter from where I am now (the desert) will be brutal.

All of the above, plus my wife won't be with me in Chicago to remind me how to create those 3 non-clashing outfits.

Pathetic!

For the past two months I have used my personal computer to do work-related tasks. Last week, my employer sent me a laptop. They overnighted it (what a waste of $). It arrived on Friday. I was very excited. I don't know the password required on boot up. Apparently, no one at work does either. Aaargh!