trickfucking the gods

last night was the crossdressing barbque party at the hostel. guys dressed up like girls, we ate a fantastic meal, there was live music, tequila shots, the view of the lake was enhanced by the light of the full moon, everyone was feeling good. i realized i just dont belong there in that type of scene.

so this morning, even though i had signed up for a week of spanish lessons, i got up, got a shuttle out, and here i am back in antigua for one night. the bus picks me up at 4 am and takes me into honduras. see, the universe was expecting me to be in santa cruz for another week, but at the last second,without warning, i left, mixed it all up. a life of randomness and capricious behavior has gotten me this far and seems to work, so there is that.

the folks at the hostel in santa cruz were sad to see me go. i cancelled my spanish class and the week long stay. they were cool, they liked me, i just wasnt comfortable. not that i mind wearing a dress, they are sort of comfortable. i just dont see getting drunk and stoned at the lake with other english speaking folks as travel. its part of it, yeah, and i did it, but i couldnt see myself staying there a week and continuing, even though i would be studying spanish.

and so, plans were broken, changed, new ones made, and it feels good to be moving again. i will stop by the bar and see TOPS one last time, then hang out, maybe sleep a few hours, and get ready to be back on the road.