wow. Amelie (like the movie) is a french woman at the hostel who i’ve spoken with once, breifly, and see now and again and we say hello and that is it. so i’m sitting around the hostel last night, and she comes up to me and says she is going to a move at the cafe, would i like to go. hells yeah i’d like to go, so i went. we watched the movie, spoke a bit, and had a good time. we came back to the hostel, as soon as we entered, tracy, this british chick i met in oaxaca who is fucking her way across mexico and central america (which i dont say meanly, its cool that she can do that. i’d do it if i could, but i’m not into latino men. i like her, she is interesting and cool) says “i’m going to the bar, gonna meet jergen (a belgian from oaxaca) wanna come along?” and i say “yeah” and we go.

as we walked, i told tracy that the french girl invited me to a movie, and she explained that i am a fucking moron, for not inviting her along to the bar. i figured we went to the movie...

decisions made without regard i live with the consequence

drinking and smoking and thinking and trying hard to make it all make sense

all alone in a crowd, an unreturned email, a smile not meant for me

all nails in my heart, one by one, i'll never make you see

that what you said and what you did has brought me to this place

i dont quite remember what i did that made me fall from grace

till then i'll keep on moving be it right or be it wrong

i hope some day i find the place where i honestly belong

stupid ass drunken shitty "poetry," i'll be embarrased tomorrow

I have an idea for a skit, it't too short to be a movie, and wouldnt work as part of something larger, it has to stand on it's own.

Opening shot: dark screen with white block letters saying "THE LONGEST PICK-UP LINE IN THE WORLD" (ala Clerks)

Two guys standing in the corner of the bar:

Guy 1: I don't know man, I just dont know.
Guy 2: I'm telling you it works. Just go over there and say it.

Guy 1: I feel stupid, and I swear you are putting me on.
Guy 2: Trust me, it works. Its original, its cool, just go over there and say it.

Guy 1: Are you sure?
Guy 2: Yes. If it doesnt work, you havent lost anything. Now go!



Scene 2: Guy walks up to smoking hot girl and says THE LONGEST PICK-UP LINE IN THE WORLD *

Smoking hot girl looks at him for a few seconds, then reaches over and kisses him.

End.

...

damn, so much to say but i dont want to write anything, its all just moving about my mind like a tornado, and i have to reach into the storm to pick out something, but as soon as i get my hands on it, it is torn from me and whisked off into the mess. i can see it, but i cant isolate it, grasp it, make it solid and real. some of it is cool, some of it is sad and heartbreaking, some of it is just plain surreal.

that is the best part of travel, i think, moments like this, where life just seems so absurd, so incredibly fucked up, half the ship is sinking, the other half is full speed ahead with a raging party on the bow. like driving a car down the highway at 250 mph, the car is falling apart with every mile, pieces are flying off it, wheels are going flat, but you just get faster and have that false feeling of being more in control than you truly are.

if i just surrender to the current and let it take me, i could end up on an island paradise, i could end...

pretty damn hungover, a bottle of wine from chile is only 4 bucks, you cant afford not to drink that shit up, there were multiple bottles of wine involved. also we coined the term "crash pipe," for my crack pipe/hash pipe. seeing as you have to smoke crack to make it a crack pipe, it will never be a crack pipe, but crash pipe just sounded so cool, we went with that.

in my drunken stupor i went to a bar and talked to the owner about a job and he said come back today so i did but he had just left, so tomorrow i will go back and talk to him and see if maybe i can get a bartending gig. doubt it, but fuck it, i'll try.

other great drunken things i did yesterday included some facebook abuse, sending drunken emails to chicks, and just being me, which all requires various apologies to various people. sometimes its fun being me, in the way sometimes its fun having cancer.

it would be both cool and fucked up if i ended up living here...