Helping Friends

So he is not so much my friend as he is smrt's, but I have known him for the whole time smrt and I have been together so...

Anyways, he and his "fiance" have been together for 8 years (a year longer than smrt and I). They are both older than us, in their mid 30's but have very little ambition or direction. Well they were supposed to have been married in September but that didn't occur due to "money situation". I think they just used that as an excuse. Around the time of the would be wedding the friend (we will call him M) started making comments to smrt about things not going well with them. They have always been an odd couple to us, in that they don't seem to be each others types and have even said so.

Two nights ago she gets online and asks smrt to text M more and try to hang out with him more as well. He is apparently losing touch with his friends. Smrt says he will, and she begs smrt not to tell M she asked this. hmmm WERID
Then last night M is online and tells smrt to not expect to be a groomsman in his wedding anytime soon, at least not to her. Then goes onto to say she suffocates him, hes not himself anymore, she doesn't like it when he goes out with friends. WTF!?!

He tells us that several of their friends have told them they thought it wouldn't last and smrt says he didn't think like they were a good fit. But what do we know, people are all different. Smrt asks if he could come visit us today and go to lunch, M says he can't because she will get mad, but they will plan something for next week. M asks for it to be just them, guys outing, no problem.

Now here is the thing, I haven't always been to fond of M because he has a very particular mindset on how things are/should be. He in his younger years partied...A LOT! To the point he said he would wake up in strange beds, knew he had sex, couldn't remember it nor how he got there nor who the person was. At some point he realized he was an alcoholic, and stopped his partying. Well when he and smrt worked together he would make comments about how all guys need to go sow their wild oats and that I should let smrt go with him out to some of his old haunts (Clubs where sex in back rooms was very well known about). He was trying to live vicariously through smrt, which was not going to work since smrt is not very social, nor does he enjoy clubs. M didn't understand this and thinks all young guys are the same.

I knew he thought I was controlling, because I made it clear I wasn't fond of smrt being around this kind of influence. But here I was looking at a guy in his 30's who had worked at the same tiny store for 13 yrs as assistant manager and was not progressing anywhere, and very much wanted a someone to stick around. He even thought the idea of smrt quitting that job so that he could move to school and find a job closer to school was a bad idea. Why would you want a friend to not succeed. He now works as security for a big research complex way out in BFE and he has been trying to get smrt to look for a job out there, even though he complains the hours suck and he hates it and he never gets to see his fiance. I don't get this guy.

Well in the course of the conversation last night M tells smrt he didn't think we were going to last as long as we have. Smrt asked why and he said back when they worked together he say low self esteem on both our parts (true) and a power struggle with manipulation from both sides (don't see this one) and that I didn't let (and still don't) smrt have any personal freedom. AKA letting smrt go out and do whatever M wants him to do. This is because most of the time they hung out I was around...so was his girl. Smrt tells him he enjoys having me around and that he doesn't get tired of me. M says hes lucky. So basically this guy isn't happy with where he is and doesn't understand that other people are different than he is. Smrt and I view each other as best friends and thus we enjoy being around each other. In the last 7 years we have grown up together. The key word being together. M and his fiance have been together for 8 years and he said the relationship has only matured 3yrs. They have grown apart.

*sigh* I'm sure this rambles and doesn't make much sense, but its good to get it out.