Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - Blogs - The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/ en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 23:06:23 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/images/insignia/misc/rss.jpg Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - Blogs - The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/ Invasion of the H1N1 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/4225-invasion-h1n1.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:01:11 GMT By reading this, you've been exposed. Well, not really.

But I have.

I came home Thursday to a very lethargic Max, a happy Drew and a tired Wife. They'd just gotten home from the park where Max had laid down on a bench for 5 minutes. For a kid that normally spends his time running at top speed, that was unusual.

The next day, a friend of The_Wife's who happens to be friends with a kid we met at a birthday party the weekend before told us that the new kid (got that?) had come down with H1N1. Max went to school (before we found out about the other kid) and had a good day but was very tired. He had a horrible gravely cough and didn't really nap. He had 102.5 temp when he woke up from his nap.

I had dinner with an underwriter who was in town (his wife and sister-in-law had tickets to Oprah) and was hoping to meet up with Pony Potato and Amonkie later on. The_Wife was supposed to go but cancelled because of how Max felt. I got an email around 9:30 that he was coughing very hard and was asking for me. I made my apologies and got home to find a very tired and sick little boy. We gave him some honey and Motrin, but he was awake most of the night.

We called the doctor in the morning and I took him in - unfortunately during nap time. No tests, but given the situation they're pretty sure that he has H1N1. Fever was up to 103 and the cough was still there. She prescribed Tamiflu for both him and Drew. Max is on it for 5 days, but Drew's on it for 10.

There is a Tamiflu shortage in Chicago.

It took calls to 5 different pharmacies, and then my insurance didn't want to pay for it because the pharmacist had to hand mix it with opened capsules. We'll be fighting that one. I'm already laying out the argument in my head and making sure that my Department of Insurance contact list is up-to-date.

The scary thing is the potential side effects. Vomiting and diarreha I can deal with (I'm a parent, after all), but neurological side-effects are scary. Fortunately, Max is only throwing up (most likely because of the coughing), but Drew is close to 2 and is a pain in the ass when he wants to be. So is a tempertantrum because he can't go to the basement to play with trains an almost-2-year-old or side effects? ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/4225-invasion-h1n1.html The Flood http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2948-flood.html Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:46:28 GMT If I've seemed a bit distracted the last few days, it's because I have been.

I played golf out in the suburbs last Friday about 3 miles north of I-88 (Arrowhead South for those who are curious). Within 5 minutes of getting out of my car, the tornado sirens sounded (but were turned off pretty quickly). By the time our start time rolled around, they were running 30 minutes behind because of lightening delays. When our turn finally came up, we were on the tee box ready to hit when there was another delay for 45 minutes. We finally teed off but came back in after the 3rd hole and called it a day because of the storms. We never really got much rain, but just to the north the line of storms was ominous and scary.

As I was driving home, my wife called to tell me that we had water in the basement. The drain by the back stairs had some leaves in it I knew and that door opens on to tile, so I wasn't too worried.

When I got home, I discovered that water was bubbling up through a small crack in the tile and that I couldn't completely dry it since it was coming in so fast (about a pint a minute). I did the best I could, threw a towel over the crack and signed into work. As I sat in my home office I noticed that the roller pad my chair sits on was more opaque than the day before. I picked it up and discovered it was wet. A little more searching revealed that the carpet was slightly damp and that the back bedroom had completely soaked carpeting.

And that carpet was also sandy.

At this writing there is an employee of the small contractor that built our house tearing apart the wall. It appears that water came up through the foundation. The house sits on an old sand quarry, so water should be in almost freefall going down the wall.

It now appears that there is a gap between the floor of the basement and the foundation wall, about 1/2" that water pushed up through. It also looks like it got to about 12-14" above the floor behind the wall.

Wow. And I'm pretty sure that since I don't buy flood insurance (I live on top of a hill 1/4 mile from the nearest body of water), this isn't a covered claim. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2948-flood.html Embracing our strengths http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2722-embracing-our-strengths.html Wed, 03 Jun 2009 22:05:10 GMT When I first started thinking about the idea that's been described this week as me being "a one-man wrecking crew", what I'm up to is "the dumbest thing you've ever done", "the excuse for Halx to ban you", "the best decision yet", and "necessary", that I'm "the man" (in a good way) and a few simple "thank you's".

That's not all that I heard back, but it's a good representative sample of stuff in my PM box and email box. Given my profession and personality, almost all of those have gotten responses from me, mainly because it's the polite thing to do as well as the fact that I think that keeping dialogs going is important. If you've got a comment or question, please know that I suck at reading minds. Just ask my wife about that one.

But that's not my point with this entry. Maybe you've noticed my "attitude change" post (notably, I haven't had to PM a single person as of this writing about stifling conversation). Maybe you noticed that I bumped a bunch of threads I thought were interesting. There are more where that came from. I did that because, honestly, some of those threads are awesome. I wish that I could share a few others with you, but they've been killed to protect the OP (folks that went on to get real jobs and didn't want stories out there about them naked save for goggles).

And, hey! Averett came back for an afternoon! How cool was that? Maybe a few more will trickle in here and there if they're subscribed to old threads or something. That would be nice, but that's not why I'm doing the things I've been doing.

I think everyone can see the stats I can at the bottom of the main page (honestly, I don't remember). We've got about 130,000 threads, about 2.5M posts and 4,229 active members (which, if I recall correctly, means they've signed in within the last 30 days). The active member number is up from the weekend slightly. The post count is up significantly, as is the new thread count (although that's not as important a number for me at the moment). The AM and PC numbers are what I focus on as a numbers guy, and those have ticked up slightly.

I make no apologies for what I did last Friday. I took no pleasure in it, and it had to be done. There is a subculture of bullies here who try to steamroll folks, and that's got to change. If that could be you, expect to hear from me or other staffers about it. If you hear from us but think we're wrong, push back. We won't always be right, and I promise you we'll listen to a reasonable argument.

You're all adults. We're not going to protect you from yourself. Think about that in the context of the last week, and I wonder if you arrive at the same place that I did. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2722-embracing-our-strengths.html How do you draw breath with your head so far up your ass? http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2679-how-do-you-draw-breath-your-head-so-far-up-your-ass.html Sat, 30 May 2009 19:45:40 GMT
Quote:
This board has been slowly ebbing away, inch by inch for years. Part of that is because we've become accustom to each other - which is great most of the time - but at the same time we've built up immunity to the stench of each other's bullshit. It's time to clear the air.

If you're an oldtimer who doesn't post much any more because you got tired of getting yelled at because your honesty might hurt someone's feelings, do me a favor and give it another go. If you're politely honest about something, you're my new hero. If you can't do that, well, you're just as full of shit as I am.
Why was my entry yesterday relevant, Martian wants to know. It's a good question and deserves an answer. My point was at the end. Maybe it should have been earlier with the example to follow. I wish this were just forum drama and it was all about how much I can't stand the member in question. But that's not true. While I have no real interest in mutual pizza consumption with him either, I don't have any emotional investment in him either, negative or positive. He's simply the low-hanging fruit that I'm using to demonstrate my overall point. When there's the

ring, if you're stupid enough to think that I had any interest in punishing anyone, realize that I have the power to remove sources of irritation immediately and permanently. I don't do that because it would be wrong and abuse of my powers. I have no interest in do so. But since you're bound and determined to defend him from the Mean Old Nasty Administrator Who's Really A Coward At His Core, let me tell you what I've been up to for the last six weeks, sweatheart. I've been reading old, old threads, stuff most folks don't have access to unless they really look very very hard. I've been quitely emailing old members that we don't see much any more asking them why they don't even bother checking in any more. And I've heard back from some of them.

A few said that real life intervened. I get that. But a lot said that we became predictable. That we'd lost the edge. And some said that they had bad experiences with staff members or regular members, including the one some of you think I'm attacking.

I have nothing against him. I don't want to chase him off - if I did, I wouldn't be such a pussy about it, and he'd be gone already. That goes for about 30+ other folks that are part of the problem too. But they're not going anywhere either. This isn't a purge. This isn't a pogrom. Trust me, if I had any intention of starting either, this place would already look very different.

If you have an opinion, state it. Just be polite. And if you think I'm a coward, well, then my opinion is that you haven't been paying attention to this place or really have any idea of what's been happening the last few years. Maybe you should educate yourself first before you try to discuss something you've got no fucking clue about. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2679-how-do-you-draw-breath-your-head-so-far-up-your-ass.html Honesty http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2669-honesty.html Sat, 30 May 2009 01:10:28 GMT There is a member who has claimed over the years:

That he's been shot
That he's been dead
That he's ran a 4 minute mile - which is quite an elite club (less than 200 Americans, and he's most definitely not on that list)
He's a father - only to later admit that he's not
He was born without an aorta
He ended gang activity at the strip mall with Quiznos™
He was plagiarized - actually he was caught blatantly plagarizing someone else with confirmation from that author.
He's an author - unpublished of course, which makes me one
He was a rape crisis hotline counselor
He's waterboarded somewhere between 3 and 1 person

I can point anyone who's interested to all of these claims with my evidence to refute them. Of the 10 claims above, I have irrefutable evidence that 4 of these, without a doubt, 100% false. YOU need to make up your own mind about the others.

This board has been slowly ebbing away, inch by inch for years. Part of that is because we've become accustom to each other - which is great most of the time - but at the same time we've built up immunity to the stench of each other's bullshit. It's time to clear the air.

If you're an oldtimer who doesn't post much any more because you got tired of getting yelled at because your honesty might hurt someone's feelings, do me a favor and give it another go. If you're politely honest about something, you're my new hero. If you can't do that, well, you're just as full of shit as I am. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2669-honesty.html running log http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2609-running-log.html Wed, 20 May 2009 23:23:34 GMT Monday: Steel mill ptp w/random tack, 22 minutes w/ Drew. Lincoln Park towing almost hit us at Bryn Mawr and Paulina. Felt like crap but Drew happily pointed out all the construction equipment. Tuesday: 14 minutes up Peachtree in Atlanta, 13:20 back - ptp. Felt very heavy from big, late... Monday: Steel mill ptp w/random tack, 22 minutes w/ Drew. Lincoln Park towing almost hit us at Bryn Mawr and Paulina. Felt like crap but Drew happily pointed out all the construction equipment.

Tuesday: 14 minutes up Peachtree in Atlanta, 13:20 back - ptp. Felt very heavy from big, late lunch.

In Minneapolis w/ RJF tomorrow, won't have time for run but should on Friday and/or Saturday. Bike The Drive is on Sunday and will do with Max and the folks. Bec and Drew will stay here. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/2609-running-log.html <![CDATA[A direct violation of "The Code of the Road"]]> http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/52-direct-violation-code-road.html Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:35:21 GMT Now normally I would never lampoon one of my coworkers for something he did while on the road. You don't talk about guys cheating on their wives, and you don't talk about bar fights that they started. When you travel with someone 2 or 3 times a month, it's in everyone's best interest.

Unless it's really really funny, and they didn't actually do anything wrong.

So the same guy (J) who heard the sheep story and I are sitting in another bar with a different set of clients in another town a few weeks ago. J's about 3 or 4 years younger than me, and we hang out a lot. It's sort of late for a Monday night and by 9, there's only one client left. He's what we refer to around here as a "professional drinker" in that we don't even try to keep up with him. So The Client calls his girlfriend to come pick him up because he's too drunk to drive ("professional" does not mean stupid). That's why I'll refer to him as Professional Drinking Boyfriend (PDB) from here on out. Before she gets there, he says they call her "Crazy Karen" behind her back.

We, of course, laugh that off because, well, seriously, there's no way.

He's about 45. She's about my age (37). And oh, my fucking god, the first thing you notice about her is the crazy eyes. She shot eye-lasers at the women sitting next to us that we didn't even know and weren't even talking to. At one point, one of PDB's female friends realizes he's in the bar and comes up to say "hi". She's there for maybe 45 seconds, gives him a quick (chaste) peck on the cheek and walks away. The entire time, Crazy Karen (CK) gives her the hairy eyeball.

Now, CK is mainly notable because she brought a friend with her to pick up PDB. Let's call the friend Scary Mary (SM) for reasons that will become obvious. For the record, I'm sitting at one end of the table, J is next to me, SM sits down next to him with CK next to her and opposite me with PDB between us. Got it?

SM is also about my age and a divorced mom of a 10 year old girl. She's also one of the most liberal society women in this southern city. She announces that within the first 10 minutes. When she finds out we're from Chicago, we become her new best friends. That starts a conversation with a friend of PDB that's sitting nearby that I get sucked into about Obama, healthcare and my contention that the Christian Right won't vote en masse for McCain. That conversation eventually wraps up and I turn my attention back to J, SM and CK.

I pretty much immediately notice that J is holding hands with SM. I suppose I should mention that J has been married for about 5 or 6 years to a very hot, just slightly crazy woman that I like a lot. They have 3 kids that are all very cool. And holding hands with a strange woman in a bar about 15 minutes after he met her is a little out of character but not entirely unprecedented.

So I just drink my beer and watch the handholding. After about 5 minutes, the entwined hands move to SM's lap. At that moment, I realized exactly how drunk J is - very. He looks down at his hand in her lap, looks at his arm then realizes that the two are actually attached to his body. The look of shock spread over at his face, starting at his forehead and working downwards of the span of about 30 seconds. He caught my eye and just looked horrified.

I took that opportunity to start talking about how much fun my kids are and what a great job my wife does with them, fully anticipating his next move, which was to try to switch seats with me. CK wanted to hear all about my boys, mainly as an excuse to tell PDB how much she wants to have kids before her biological clock runs out.

PDB - our mutual client - finally realized what was really going on and called for the check. I gladly paid it while J tried to reclaim his hand. I think that at one point she may have tried to put it under her shirt, but there was a bit of armwrestling going on. She definitely tried to stare wistfully into his eyes a couple of times. She did insist on writing her number down on his hand before returning it to him.

They finally left, at which point I finally got to start laughing and he got to start punching me in the arm.

I, of course, did nothing to save him, which is why that night is now known around here as The Night I Tried to Feed J to The Cougar. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/52-direct-violation-code-road.html The sheep story http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/35-sheep-story.html Tue, 22 Jul 2008 19:07:50 GMT About 3 years ago, I was at a bar with some clients and a coworker. We were about 20 miles due west of The Middle of Nowhere, so it was pretty rural. Eventually, the clients left, and my coworker and I hung out since the music was good but not obnoxious and Golden Tee was calling our names. We... About 3 years ago, I was at a bar with some clients and a coworker. We were about 20 miles due west of The Middle of Nowhere, so it was pretty rural. Eventually, the clients left, and my coworker and I hung out since the music was good but not obnoxious and Golden Tee was calling our names.

We had a pitcher of beer that we were about halfway done with. I only mention that because in hindsight I think that thirst was the reason that the local approached us.

This sort of scarey looking middle-aged dude sauntered over and struck up a conversation. Apparently he was a local farmer and picked us out as two out-of-towners (duh, we were the only ones wearing khakis). He seemed nicer than he looked, so we sat down with him and chatted. And even bought a new pitcher.

So we get done talking sports and cars, and there's a lull in the conversation. That's when the dude points across the bar at a guy sitting alone and says "See that guy over there? Got arrested last year for sheep fucking."

What do you say in response to that? Really, there's not much you can say, beyond expressing astonishment.

The dude says, "yeah, they caught him red handed. See, now any horny old redneck can fuck a sheep. That guy figured out how to get the sheep to fuck him. He got that old sheep from behind and stuck its hind legs down his boots. Then he walked it over to his pond and into the water. He kept walking until the sheep started trying to back up, then unzipped and went at it. Sheep just kept jerking back to get out of the water. Guy didn't have to do a thing 'cept stand there. Probably woulda gotten away with it if the propane delivery guy hadn'ta showed up a little early."

So we're speachless. I mean, I couldn't have spoken a word if you'd paid me. The dude just gets up, grabs the pitcher and walks away. We're horrified. We went back to the hotel and tried to sleep, but neither of us got much.

The next day, I call the clients that we were with and tell them the story. I described the dude were were talking to and the guy at the end of the bar. Turns out the client knew both the guys I was talking about and that the story wasn't true. Basically, we got scammed out of a $6 pitcher of beer.

But to this day, I don't know how the dude knew so much about sheep fucking. ]]> The_Jazz http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/blogs/the_jazz/35-sheep-story.html