Life is funny.
Life is funny. It seems to throw the most unexpected curve balls my way. Sometimes I'm the instigator but it's more me adhering to my life in the moment then making long term choices. Such is being 23.
For example (I have two):
1) A friend, Ruby, accused me of being a liar about a month ago; about making up my "life before Toronto" while I was in school. I didn't know how to respond, while also realizing that no matter what I say it won't change anything; that I'd be fighting a losing battle. The biggest thing, I assume, is my step father's money and it's existence. Which I found funny based on this:
I gave her boyfriend, and my best friend, 2879 dollars to pay the rest of tuition so he wouldn't be kicked out. I did it for many reasons and I could afford the luxury of doing so. He has yet to pay all of it back (I believe around 600 remains). Today I emailed him, and he responded back with this very heavy handed message about the "hyperbole" regarding my parents money, and that, essentially, it was my fault he owed me money because I had lied about my lifestyle. But I hadn't. I spent hours pouring my heart out over problems with my parents that I had never discussed with anyone before Matt. Hours and hours of vulnerability, which is difficult as both a man, and individually. And because of Ruby's snap and ignorant judgement it is gone. I'm very disappointed that someone like him would so easily do that. Such is life.
Haha. Life is funny.
2) I went to a wedding yesterday where a friend was married. I hosted the "red carpet" (he's a tv producer/film director - he is not very successful but endlessly passionate about it) for the wedding. People asked me if I was nervous for the wedding and I said yes. They meant the red carpet. I meant seeing Ashleigh for the first time since February. And her new boyfriend. The one she had cheated on me with. When I arrived I saw them and within a couple of hours I realized:
i. this guy isn't a quarter of the man i am (his interaction at the wedding).
ii. she is far more fucked up over it then I am (she stared at me most of the wedding ceremony and reception)
iii. I'm happier without her.
iv. He, the boyfriend, looks like the unibomber.
I felt great about myself.
I partied. I brought a super hot and incredible date that got me lots of compliments (she deserved them - she looked beautiful) and gave me even more fun. I sang some Sinatra with a big band (first time ever doing that - it was a thrill). I got to hug and kiss K. and R. (the couple getting married) which made me feel very fulfilled. And yet something was nagging at me.
Today I didn't think of it all day, aside from when my mother asked me how things went and such. I went out with two girls tonight; Jenna and Allie. Jenna and I have a thing that is coming to a close. She is moving, I am not. Allie and I seem to have a thing that is beginning. I know this sounds douchey, but Jenna was setting us up, and I know THAT sounds fucked up, but Jenna and I are more best friends who cross the line. She knew Allie and I are perfect for each other and decided to introduce us and I'm VERY happy she did. Wowzers, she's one heck of a lady. I'm a little light headed still haha. And I had a perfectly friendly night with both; had a few drinks, got soaked to the bone at a Theatre In The Park performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Great time.
I got home and wrote Ashleigh an email apologizing for the asshole that I was and for the things that I said the day we ended things. She deserved it a long time ago. I made it clear it wasn't about us, or me, but that I had reached a place where I could see I was wrong, and that she deserved one (and had asked for one several times before this when we were first separated). I admit that I failed her so many times, and turned it on her too many times (once is too many times).
Haha. Life is funny.
For example (I have two):
1) A friend, Ruby, accused me of being a liar about a month ago; about making up my "life before Toronto" while I was in school. I didn't know how to respond, while also realizing that no matter what I say it won't change anything; that I'd be fighting a losing battle. The biggest thing, I assume, is my step father's money and it's existence. Which I found funny based on this:
I gave her boyfriend, and my best friend, 2879 dollars to pay the rest of tuition so he wouldn't be kicked out. I did it for many reasons and I could afford the luxury of doing so. He has yet to pay all of it back (I believe around 600 remains). Today I emailed him, and he responded back with this very heavy handed message about the "hyperbole" regarding my parents money, and that, essentially, it was my fault he owed me money because I had lied about my lifestyle. But I hadn't. I spent hours pouring my heart out over problems with my parents that I had never discussed with anyone before Matt. Hours and hours of vulnerability, which is difficult as both a man, and individually. And because of Ruby's snap and ignorant judgement it is gone. I'm very disappointed that someone like him would so easily do that. Such is life.
Haha. Life is funny.
2) I went to a wedding yesterday where a friend was married. I hosted the "red carpet" (he's a tv producer/film director - he is not very successful but endlessly passionate about it) for the wedding. People asked me if I was nervous for the wedding and I said yes. They meant the red carpet. I meant seeing Ashleigh for the first time since February. And her new boyfriend. The one she had cheated on me with. When I arrived I saw them and within a couple of hours I realized:
i. this guy isn't a quarter of the man i am (his interaction at the wedding).
ii. she is far more fucked up over it then I am (she stared at me most of the wedding ceremony and reception)
iii. I'm happier without her.
iv. He, the boyfriend, looks like the unibomber.
I felt great about myself.
I partied. I brought a super hot and incredible date that got me lots of compliments (she deserved them - she looked beautiful) and gave me even more fun. I sang some Sinatra with a big band (first time ever doing that - it was a thrill). I got to hug and kiss K. and R. (the couple getting married) which made me feel very fulfilled. And yet something was nagging at me.
Today I didn't think of it all day, aside from when my mother asked me how things went and such. I went out with two girls tonight; Jenna and Allie. Jenna and I have a thing that is coming to a close. She is moving, I am not. Allie and I seem to have a thing that is beginning. I know this sounds douchey, but Jenna was setting us up, and I know THAT sounds fucked up, but Jenna and I are more best friends who cross the line. She knew Allie and I are perfect for each other and decided to introduce us and I'm VERY happy she did. Wowzers, she's one heck of a lady. I'm a little light headed still haha. And I had a perfectly friendly night with both; had a few drinks, got soaked to the bone at a Theatre In The Park performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Great time.
I got home and wrote Ashleigh an email apologizing for the asshole that I was and for the things that I said the day we ended things. She deserved it a long time ago. I made it clear it wasn't about us, or me, but that I had reached a place where I could see I was wrong, and that she deserved one (and had asked for one several times before this when we were first separated). I admit that I failed her so many times, and turned it on her too many times (once is too many times).
Haha. Life is funny.
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