My girlfriend wrestled in jello.
Posted 08-02-2009 at 02:39 PM by thespian86
AND I FUCKING MISSED IT.
Seriously. Seriously. Fuck fuck fuck. I get a text.
ACE: I'm wrestling in jello in a bit if you feel like coming down to watch.
All jokes I think. Just joshing, I say. Text her back? WHY WOULD I!?
I'll tell you why folks. Because if you're girlfriend text's you saying: "I am going to wrestle an equally good looking, super fox (like me) in a sticky, wet substance for funzies" that means, apparently, THAT SHE IS GOING TO DO IT.
Learn from my failures gentlemen. Learn from the slow, antagonizing death I am suffering right now; until two hours from now when I fireman carry her to her bedroom and tell the roommates to hit the bricks for a few hours. Which is what's going to happen.
Seriously. Seriously. Fuck fuck fuck. I get a text.
ACE: I'm wrestling in jello in a bit if you feel like coming down to watch.
All jokes I think. Just joshing, I say. Text her back? WHY WOULD I!?
I'll tell you why folks. Because if you're girlfriend text's you saying: "I am going to wrestle an equally good looking, super fox (like me) in a sticky, wet substance for funzies" that means, apparently, THAT SHE IS GOING TO DO IT.
Learn from my failures gentlemen. Learn from the slow, antagonizing death I am suffering right now; until two hours from now when I fireman carry her to her bedroom and tell the roommates to hit the bricks for a few hours. Which is what's going to happen.
Total Comments 20
Comments
-
I've wrestled in jello before. And mud.
It's fun. You should never doubt a girl who brings it up.
Posted 08-02-2009 at 03:24 PM by PonyPotato
-
You know, I hate you guys. The whole lot of you .. pony I hate you too.
Unless of course you had video, then that would appease me.Posted 08-02-2009 at 03:32 PM by Xerxys
-
This will haunt you for the next lifetime.Posted 08-02-2009 at 06:16 PM by genuinegirly
-
hmmm. I made a comment to a friend about how my grandchildren will speak of this day in hushed tones and with reverence.
The fireman carry led to three romps in the span of two hours. There were water breaks.Posted 08-02-2009 at 07:55 PM by thespian86
-
Never doubt a girl who says she's gonna wrestle in Jello. Ever.Posted 08-02-2009 at 08:02 PM by CinnamonGirl
-
You are a tool.
But at least you are aware of this fact.
Knowing is the first step.Posted 08-03-2009 at 05:58 AM by Charlatan
-
Did she wrestle a girl or a skinny guy with an afro and mustache wearing a t-shirt that declares, "I LOVE THE LAY-DEEZ?"Posted 08-03-2009 at 06:13 AM by Plan9
-
mhmm. A tool indeed. But, too add:
I saw my step father later that day who was carrying a case of beer. I told him, he set down the case of beer, walked over and hugged me, and while doing so dramatically said "Curse you [insert ace's full name]". It is the first time he has ever hugged me.
And not A girl. FIVE girls. I was told also that the pool was the size of her bed, and that it was less wrestling (although there was pinning - dear jesus) and more rolling around. With five half naked girls. and there was a hose.
also: It was her roommate that got her to do it. Not her kind of dumpy roommate, or her moderately hot roommate, but her almost equally hot girlfriend (ie: my girlfriend is endless hot). While carrying her to the bedroom I encountered the roommate. "dream thief".Posted 08-03-2009 at 07:30 AM by thespian86
-
You shouldn't call her roommate a "dream thief," dude. She GAVE YOU YOUR DREAM. You were the one who failed at believing it/attending.
It's your fault you didn't participate, not her hot roommate's.Posted 08-03-2009 at 07:43 AM by PonyPotato
-
Anything I could say about how much you suck is going to pale in comparision to the fact that you're going to have to live with this for the rest of your life. And that's punishment enough.Posted 08-03-2009 at 07:45 AM by The_Jazz
-
I propose a TFP meetup where we all wrestle in jello and take photos to taunt those who don't believe us/don't attend.
It will be fun, I promise.Posted 08-03-2009 at 07:52 AM by PonyPotato
-
We will be the judge of whether or not your girlfriend is endless hot.
Jello wrestling is far better than baby oil wrestling. Baby oil wrestling is like 20 minutes of sexy and 18 hours of disaster for the poor sod that owns the apartment. Have you ever slipped climbing carpeted stairs before? No? You will if you attend such an event.Posted 08-03-2009 at 07:55 AM by Plan9
Updated 08-03-2009 at 08:40 AM by Plan9 -
um...i appear to be alone in finding jello more a metaphysical issue (is it solid? is it not quite solid? what is this substance? why would anyone put such a substance into their mouths?) than a sports medium.
so perhaps i am also alone in being confused about...well....everything that could possibly follow from the words "jello wrestling"
my experience with jello is that it doesn't do much. it just kind of lays there in it's bowl.
so how do you get the jello to wrestle?
electricity?Posted 08-03-2009 at 09:02 AM by roachboy
-
RB,
Jello is a great way to lubricate grapes and pineapple chunks in something red that tastes like nothing found in nature despite claims on the package.
Peanut butter would be a far more challenging sports medium.Posted 08-03-2009 at 09:28 AM by Plan9
-
interesting.
what does one do exactly with grapes once lubricated?Posted 08-03-2009 at 09:38 AM by roachboy
-
Swallow. They're delicious. Especially if you've just had wisdom teeth pulled. Fruit nuggets suspended in said lubricant are served cold. Pineapple, grapes, pears, apple, even banana slices.
They also force such a concoction on in your "golden years" in those concentration camps known as retirement homes. This is due to the fact that teeth are completely unnecessary.Posted 08-03-2009 at 09:42 AM by Plan9
-
You'll run out of salt soon Pony.
Apparently she looks exactly like the chick who won Canada's next top model Cromp (Megan, I think; my sister informed me. while I was doing something... masculine).Posted 08-03-2009 at 11:43 AM by thespian86
Updated 08-03-2009 at 11:46 AM by thespian86 -
^^ Really, I watch the gilmore girls too while eating ice cream on a rainy sunday night. You and me are SO alike!
Posted 08-03-2009 at 01:08 PM by Xerxys
-
I happen to be watching gilmore girls right now. deal with it.Posted 08-03-2009 at 01:45 PM by thespian86
-
It's been oft repeated: if there are no pictures, it didn't happen.
Just wait, Ace. If the girls had fun, they'll do it again sometime.Posted 08-03-2009 at 02:32 PM by grumpyolddude
Total Trackbacks 0
