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Some offices, perhaps most, are afflicted by a particularly bad annoyance: gossip. It's always been a great pet peeve of mine and I usually seek it out in all of it's forms and end it through whatever reasonable means I have at my disposal.

About 6 months ago the organization I worked for was suffering from rather serious interpersonal problems due to gossip that weren't being resolved through ordinary means. I mentioned that I had dealt with a similar problem in my previous position, and I was told that it was my problem to deal with if I wished.
"How do you purge an office of gossip, Will?"
"Hopefully, I'll show you."

My solution was really simple, to combine two ideas that really should be common knowledge for all adults:
1) Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
2) If you speak about someone, do so as if they are present.
I know it seems too simplistic to really deal with complex office...

I went over and picked up the new (new to me) car today. It's in surprisingly good shape and I got a frighteningly good deal on it (KBB is about $6500, I got it for about half that).

After riding in the Eclipse (which was heavily modified, or "riced out") for over a year, it's fantastic to have such a smooth ride. It rides like an e36, which is surprising considering that the Jetta/Bora only has a mediocre reputation. The 115 hp 2.0L 8 valve engine is wildly underpowered, but it has decent low end torque and has been demonstrated to get 34mpg hwy (EPA says 24/31, but I've seen the numbers and it's more like 26/34). I'm sure I can improve on that. It's appearance is nice. It's simple, and looks like a little brother to the Passat. It's more attractive than Japanese compact cars which it competes against, IMHO.

The interior is immaculate, as is the engine bay and trunk. The previous owner, a military woman, appears to have the same affinity for detail...

I allowed someone to borrow my car last night to my eternal regret. The Eclipse is now totaled. I'll probably part it out on a forum or Craigslist and go pick up a used Civic or Jetta or something for the time being.

Crap.

Edit: everyone's fine, and a Jetta would make an easy diesel conversion eventually. The car and thus driver were insured, but the value of the car is only like $3-4k. There is probably 3 times that in aftermarket parts in it. Let's just say I don't let anyone but family borrow the car... but now that's going to have to change, too. The aftermarket parts are numerous, but the juicy parts are the upgraded turbo, full cat back, standalone fuel management system, and full suspension. I've already got buyers lined up for the turbo and fuel system. I saw a 2000 Jetta online and I've haggled the guy down to $4000. The carfax is clean and it's a GL, so a swap to a TDI would be really easy.

1) Upper East Side Apartment: In order to really understand the pleasures of conformity, one must be immersed in that which others want.

2) Balanced Diet: You can't fit in without being fit. It's hip to be square, which means 6 square meals a day that have plenty of healthy proteins, carbs, and fats.

3) Exercise: Repeated use of tools, like axes, requires on to have a balanced and well honed physical state. Be sure to include plenty of crunches (I can do 1000 now).

4) Skincare: I like to start with a multi-action face scrub and continue on with the ab rescue body sculpting gel. I like to use a root power treatment shampoo, that really addresses the scalp as much as it addressed the hair. Then I apply a purifying clay mask which I leave on for 10 minutes. I prefer to use shave oil and then use a razor burn relief lotion with little to no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older.

5) Valentino Suits...