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I already know all these ...

Xerxys — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 02:00:44 GMT

Quote:

#10, You don�t know what�s important�you better figure it out.

The things you think you want, you might not. The things you think are important to you, they probably aren�t. The trick in life is twigging to it early enough to have the time for the knowledge to be useful.
Go see �Fight Club.� On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. You�re going to be dead any day; maybe today. Find out what�s important, to you, and don�t let it go.
#9, Love and sex overlap but they are not the same thing.

No moral judgement or high horsery. Just learn it. You will thank me someday.

#8, Don�t be sloppy with your guns.

We all have to destroy now and then in life. Whether it�s firing someone, breaking up, putting a suffering pet to sleep, ratting out a friend to save him from ODing, whatever. Pain is a given. Less pain is what you are shooting for. Shoot straight.
#8.1, Just break up.

When it�s time, just break up. Don�t call again. Don�t write more. Don�t think about the things you could have said. Just break the fuck up.
It doesn�t matter who did what to whom or why or when or even how many times while whoever was watching. It means fuck all in the end.
The things that normally sane and thoughtful people will do to each other while on The Outs are horrifying, humiliating, and can be life changing in long-term, crippling ways.
#7, Common sense is more important than formal education.

#7.1, Don�t believe anything that can�t be shown.

Contrary to what PT Barnum prompted David Hannum to say, there is not a sucker born every minute. There are 210 suckers born every minute. If it sounds too good to be true, it�s not true. Eg, the cutting of a single Lamb�s throat to save every child molester since Eve went down on Cain is neither a reasonable nor a demonstrable proposition. And therefore:
#7.2, Organized religion is wrong and it�s okay to say so.

There is not one impartially documented miracle in history. No one is born knowing God. You get a certain flavor forced down your throat like a communion rape. There are 100 religions out there and most of them say that the devot�es of all the others are going to Hell. Do you believe in God? The odds that you�ve picked the wrong one are 99:1. Because you�ve never been out of Shitburg, GA you don�t know that there are other religions and that Christians are, at most, 30% of the world. Or that half the Christians think the other half are going to Hell too. I�m an atheist and I think Catholics go to Hell.
There is a powerful and important place in the minds of men that religion inhabits but the Host that grows there by dogmatic decree is cancerous; eroding the ability to be responsible for yourself; eroding thought; eroding ethics; eroding common sense.
#6, Be nice.

Do it for yourself�not them. Back-stabbing wins battles but it loses allies and therefore wars. Aggressiveness opens doors but it closes and draws the bolt on two for every one it opens.
Nice guys don�t always finish first but they don�t usually have to move or change a flat without help either. You will attract people in your life who are like you. There�s no way around it. Being an asshole may well generate friends, but they�ll be unreliable assholes too.
#5, Pain is not an illusion.

Saying that pain is an illusion is on the face a way to embolden and calm oneself against awful experiences, but it�s dangerously dismissive of something that exists to improve and protect us: pain.
#5.1, Pain without dignity is not heroic.

Being a victim does not make you a hero and it doesn�t mean you deserve a book deal with HarperCollins. It�s too bad that happened to you but quit acting like you deserve a door prize for it.
#4, War is Hell but Politics is the Devil Hisself.

Before you don a beret and grow a goat�e, learn some history. From the opening skirmish of the Peloponnesian War to those killed in Persia yesterday, war has been fairly constant and has ended at least 50,000,000 lives. Politics, however, has been completely constant and in just the last 100 years governments have been directly responsible for the deaths of 170,000,000 of their own citizens.
#3, Mind your own business.

Don�t play match-maker, don�t play couples-counselor, don�t bank roll friends, don�t make job referrals, don�t talk about personal issues with strangers. You might think this sounds unfriendly, but the opposite is true. Keeping your nose out of others� asses is the Mile 1 marker to Real Friendship.
#3.1, Bust in when it matters.

Rarely, really rarely, you should get involved and be in the middle. If you find you�ve done this more than 2 or 3 times in your whole life, back up to �Mind your own business� until you get the hang of that.
#2, Own up to it.

Taking responsibility is the only thing that will make you strong. It�s the only thing you can count on not to let you down for good. It�s the only thing standing in your way.
#2.1, Being selfish isn�t just okay, it�s right.

Selfish doesn�t mean you want a new car to impress the chicks. Get it? If you want the new car to impress them, the reason you want it isn�t selfish. It�s the opposite. You want it for someone else.
The things we really want for ourselves tend to be much healthier. And if you aren�t taking care of yourself, you�re useless to everyone else anyway.
#2.2, You�re going to be wrong.

Don�t make asinine stands just because your feelings got hurt. Pretending you weren�t wrong will not make you right. It just makes you a joke.
You want to be right so bad? Try this: I was wrong.
#1, Ignorance is weakness and suffering.

Learn the fables. The grasshopper was an ignorant fuck who had a great time till lay-offs came around. Fortune comes into it and some are paid more or less than they earn but most get pretty much exactly what they deserve out of life. What did you do today to make your life better? Unless you�re on the way to bed, you still have a piece to try for. It�s in your power to improve your mind right now. Everything you do to make yourself better makes the world better for it.

>>LINK<<

But I will list them again. For my own sake.

Today, I stalked someone ...

Xerxys — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:11:12 GMT

Before you call the police, I can explain ... A while back I was at the mall buying my mom shoes when this lady from all natural products or something or the other stopped me and asked to see my hands. She proceeded to buff them out and the end result was it looking like I had clear nail polish on my fingers. All the while during this demo she went through explaining the perks, advantages and awesomeness of the product she was selling to me for $49.99 and I could only fixate on her accent.

She had a marvelous accent, upon further prodding I found out she was not from around town. I could never have bought the product had she not have talked it down to $25.00 for shampoo, nail buffer and something else for you fingertips I have no idea what it's called.

So today I am returning the shoes because they don't fit the intended recipient, I bump into her again, but she was selling her buffing thingy to a lady ... so I walked past and decided to bump into her on my way back! It was a coincidence, you see ...

Anyway, it was just my luck that she was on her way to the rest room (It was luck, I swear) that she saw me and we startyed talking. She asked if I've ben using the buffer and told me a whole bunch of other things I don't remember because, well, her accent her lovely Israeli accent.

She declined dinner though, she has a boyfriend ... back in Israel.

It was exhilarating, now I'm gonna sit in the corner and cry.

Crude ...

Xerxys — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:05:27 GMT

Is the only way to describe anything in life.

That is all.

Easy like sunday morning Church Sermon

Xerxys — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:19:17 GMT

I'm in a Burger King because I don't want to worship baby Hey-suse. The folk we are staying with are the fun religious types. The kind even TFP elitists will like because they don't force their beliefs on you.

So, drinking this piss poor coffee I can't help but think to myself, if I find all the sugar at the bottom of the cup I will be so fuckin' pissed, that and I couldn't help but wonder Why have I done very little ever since getting here? I mean, google is coming up short on events and activities. I wanna go to Toronto to all the massage parlours in the massage thread. I should do that.

I hope today doesn't suck as much as yesterday.

OTTAWA!

Xerxys — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 13:19:15 GMT

OK, Canadians, you know all that stuff said in IIRC was just joking right? Right??? Erm ... here are thge rules ...

You will not Hack my IP address, find me, and attempt any form of maiming during my stay
You will not attempt to run me over with your vehicle whilst I walk down the street.
You will not poison my food.
You will not lure me to your home with overtures of good times and attempt to kill me.
You will not kidnap me and PIMP me out without my consent ... no seriously, at least let me know first before I sleep with some overweight dude.

I think tha about covers it. Spend time with me and I promise I will buy you a beer for every 5 minutes you managae to endure!

Road Trip.

Xerxys — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:17:59 GMT

So, as I type this from the car thinking I can't standany more of this gospel music and wondering how long till I'll grab the wheel and kill all of us to spare me the agony I can'thelp but wonder how long a trip has been overdue for me.

Yesterday I stayed with friends from Philly. I had fun on the way up turning down some dude with a sob story about how he got laid off and he needed gas money and food while he and his girlfriend was holding a cigarrette. I'm such an SOB!

Now, when we got to PA we were supposed to spend the night and leave the next morning but my in-laws had added yet another cousin to the number and visitations had to be arranged. I was holding the baby when my little niece walked over, kissed the hours old newborn, and sneezed. My mouth acted on itself when I said, "H1N1 welcomes you to the world." The mother was not very pleased!

Later on I visited my friend who's daughter has autism. I'm not sure what kind it is, I would have thought it was cerebral palsy if they hadn't told me kids with autism can be affected to that extent. Needless to say it broke my heart and I couldn't stay in the room too long. They do have a big happy family and are heavily religious. Strength to all of them.

I spent my teen years with my sisters and the two short years I have lived away from them I have realized how different have become from them. I feel like they haven't changed at all. But the drive up has enabled me to understand a lot of her perspective on ... things.

I hope Ottawa is cool.

What does "douche-bag" mean?

Xerxys — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 10:00:48 GMT

From reading this thread I get people have become really disconnected to elegance and manners. The same people that complain about fashion trends are the same ones that constantly accuse mainstream behavior to be of "douche-baggy" tendencies. You don't wear [insert recent fashion trend here] and claim to "only go for comfort". Naturally, by the extension that they don't dress like you, anyone who wears what you think is stupid is a douche-bag ... no? That's how I see it.

Like this for example ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vigilante

... When I see blingy watches I usually think douchebag. Not in a strong sense, but in that guilty until proven innocent sense.

I will be very bold and open myself to public lynching when I say the above post speaks for 90% of us here on TFP. Anyone who is dark brown in color, has tattoo T-shirts and shiny sweatshirt is a guido. Anyone who's blond, wears tight pants and carries her little shitzu in her purse is a ...erm, whats the female equivalent for douche-bag?

This thought occurred to me when I thought to myself I needed new shoes and the first thought was wal-mart. Boy can I think of many people that disapprove. Why all the harsh judgment of other people? Have you taken a look at yourself in the mirror lately? Why go through all the effort possible to blend into the crowd? Ohh, that's right, you DON'T want to be part of the crowd!! HAHAHA! Cruel joke huh? You strive so hard into looking "OK" until you discover it's not that hard to do, it's not really hard NOT to be distinguished. It takes absolutely NO effort to be beige in color and blend into the wallpaper. None.

Get over yourselves.

The End of August.

Xerxys — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 08:02:37 GMT

So, as a disclaimer, snowy and MSD, I got my balls covered!!

Friday night was to mark the end of August. The very of summer in my mental calendar and I had done nothing to commemorate the season. I was in a state of self loathing so well pronounced it rang hard in my ears and I constantly reminded myself of my lack of accomplishments.

08/28/2009 10:59 PM >> Front End Payroll System logs a CLOCK OUT!

In order to assuage these feelings I decided to do what any normal human being would do, and that is go to a club ... despite swearing I would never do this again. I went out. The night was fantastic.

08/28/2009 11:42 PM >> I arrive at Hi5!

There I was, a snazzy looking skinny guy seated on a tan leather couch contemplating my freedom year in self pity clutching a Heineken wondering what the hell I'm doing. I'm no womanizer, I tell myself constantly while sipping the insipid brew. I mean honestly alcohol or anything created to go with it is terrible. Good thing I had just brushed my teeth. It was tasteless. All of a sudden I began to notice the people around me more and the blaring music that was playing which was somewhat in the background. And then
... "ICE ICE BABY" ...

There was this girl, she was dancing in front of me and I know now why I hate myself so. It is my invisibility. I believe this is something I created by myself. I know this because today I was thinking about it as I watched everyone else who walked into the club. They were all very anxious, but they were on their feet. The more I looked closely I realized the leather couch was social suicide.

So I stood up with fluidity that belies my usual grace and ... "ICE ICE BABY" ... I approached her. She was very pretty in her little dress, dancing, facing me and jheld eye contact for more than 3 seconds. Long enough for me to get closer to her. She did not rudely brush me off but more of her pretty little dressed friends showed up and one had a camera. She "accidentally" took a picture of me! :D

I feigned shock and pulled out my phone and typed in milliseconds then showed her with a JD style raised eyebrow: "Is that for facebook?". She nodded. I typed back with a big "O" face, "well then", put my arm around her and made her take another picture.

Tonight, people, I SARGED!! I did everything in the books. I negged, opened, closed and got phone numbers! I know the numbers will do me no good. I understand that when I call there will be an awkward conversation of a formerly pretty young thing pretending she doesn't remember me or me dialing a number that really belongs to a retirement home and wind up asking for the wrong "cindy"!!

But there was one in particular. Seeing as I had a lot of liquid confidence in me and I had to drive myself home, I was detoxing at the bar with a bottle of nestle water when her friends and her sat next to me only there was no more room so she had to sit on my other side.

She said "Hi" first!! :D I was ecstatic. Finally, a woman, (VERY PRETTY and this is not the Heineken talkin') who isn't so damn defensive. We got to talking and she told me about herself and how she waitresses to support herself in masseuse school. I sat there and listened to her talk about pressure points and how she is well trained at stress relief when I realized I had to get home. All I could think about is Cynthetiq's video of the girl talking in the NYC meetup thread and her voice was very similar.

(Damn you Cynth for crashing my night out)

So I offered to buy her a drink and was the conversation I had with her worth $8.00? Well, yes it was. She was VERY pretty. But as soon as she had drink in hand a good friend of hers rescued her with the "woooooo, mah favourite song!! You gotta dance with ME!!" and hence came an abrupt end to my encounter with "W" the waitress masseuse.

-------------------------------

Tonight TFP, I spend my time with you. You are my addiction. My place of rest and comfort. On Sunday the end begins. I move out of this empty apartment back to my parents house and sell the King size bed to my mother. She wanted it and I'm selling it cheap. Before November ends I want $4000 just to ensure I don't survive on peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches whilst in school.

Working is fun. I would never do anything different this year if given the chance.

Office Romance...

Xerxys — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 08:38:10 GMT

So perhaps Stolen car by Carina Round can explain best what i feel.

There's this girl at work ... she's gorgeous. She goes even as far as talking to me which is awesome. But how she talks to me is a whole nether story. I am going to be fired for sexual harassment one of this days.

Anyway, this girl, she looks like a latino Halle Berry and sits on my lap when she damn well pleases. So about two weeks ago I was a having a severe case of office pitch-a-tentinitis. I was staring at my computer trying, HARD, and failing, to figure out the appropriate English vocabulary required to be placed in an e-mail about handle time statistics when she shows up from no where, spins my chair and sits on my damn lap!!

It all went south from there. and before I go any further, may I take this moment to curse my damn weight. Made it easy for her to spin the stupid chair!! From then on I get some of the worst sexual innuendos my perverted mind can possibly concoct. And she uses this power for pure evil.

e.g. #1

**puts on pouty face**
"Hey Xerxys*, can I go home early today ... it's not that busy"
"Sorry Halle Sweetcheeks*, they're not letting anyone go for the time being, maybe much later on", I say with a cool face.
"Your so mean, you always let others go before me ... " Turns to co workers, "see what he does, he waits for them to put a list up and makes sure I'm the last to know", she adds mockingly.

e.g. #2
** spins chair around, while I curse my stupid weight again, sits on my lap**
"Could you do me a favor?", she asks, at which point I'm pretty sure I'm gonna say yes.
"No, I'm working.", fake cool face again.
"Buy me lunch.", Her, ignoring my facade and ripping my nuts out.
"What do you want?", Me, caving due to massive loss of testosterone.
"Quiznos.", she says while placing my nuts in her pocket book.
"i don't have time and I'm very busy," desperately trying to remove my new found ovaries "Papa Johns downstairs".
"**sigh** OK" ...

Well folks, hope you enjoyed. I have no idea what this is but I am pretty sure she does. She refuses to give me her number, calls me horrid names like cute, adorable and crazy-good-looking-she-could-just-eat-me-up.

Such is the life of a pretty boy. I have come to terms with it, I have come to live with it and I am dealing with it. For all intents and purposes, I am ... her bitch.

*All names have been changed to protect identities and my fragile ego.

Dirty Girls!

Xerxys — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 21:39:40 GMT

No! I do NOT have OCD! But I work with dirty girls. And not the good kinda dirty ... They have dirt underneath their nails. Why? Very well manicured nails, but a distinct dark line beneath them. And no, I don't work at a farm.

A while back we had a tornado warning and we were asked to abandon all posts and congregate in the center of the building. Everyone, including the women, told me it was the ladies bathroom. I swear to god I still think it's a broken sewer pipe or something because the smell was just so bad!! No one can possibly stand that smell. It was highschool all again.

Now the ratio of unclean men to women is probably equal if not more men but aren't women supposed to be ... well, cleaner? I probably don't notice the men either but they're not asking me for hugs y'know!! The thing is, if you extend your hand out for me to shake it I'm gonna notice stuff, which opens a whole gateway of other things. The yellow teeth, the creased clothes, the buttcrack theater ...

I mean c'mon seriously ... I wash my hands before I have anybody shake them ... granted I've been known to wear very faded uniform of clothes (still correcting that) but that is because of my poor choice in fabric cleaner, not hygene.

Just wash your hands, that's all I ask.

I know now why I'm thin ...

Xerxys — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 01:42:35 GMT

It's because I like fast food.

DISCLAIMER: Fat people (in body/mind/whatever) don't read ...

I LOVE fast food. I love the whopper burger, I have it every thursdays. I LOVE the doublecheese burger too from McDonalds!! I love PapaJohns Pizza and coca cola classic.

I weigh 118lbs now, How many people want to bet how much I'm gonna weigh when I turn 24?

What caused this reminisce of fatty foods? Well, today I cooked one of my very healthy meals. Beef stew with veggies and rice. It was ... whats the word, ... not bland ... what does cardboard taste like? I think we should make cardboard a word to describe food. Yes, it was cardboard.

I haven't had my fatty unhealthy foods in a while ... I'm going to get a doublecheese burger ...

Deja Hell ...?

Xerxys — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 23:10:43 GMT

So a familiar hell ... I feel it coming along ... a creeping fleeting feeling of discontent. I have all my life ignored this and it always turned out not to be just doubting thomas syndrome but a dark omen.

We just had a presentation educating us on how our pay is going to change. We will now be payed upon activity based performance. Essentialy, the company determines how much you are worth, they tell you for exceptional work we will pay you $'xy' and for shitty work, the minimum wage. Now, this sounds VERY reasonable. I have no doubt at all in my mind that this will work well for the corporate industry. But I did really like my hourly wage and unlimited overtime.

I became a master and heavily abused the system. I take home ridiculous paychecks for an entry level job. Don't look at me like that, if I had the expertise and guts to rob a fargo I'd do it. I have no qualms whatsoever in getting money in what would be considered "unethical" ways to obtain money if they don't harm people.

But now, someone in my caliber has to step up to the plate and be not only a hard worker but a smart worker as well.

Shit! They got me there.

Just for the lullz ...

Xerxys — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 23:04:56 GMT

I applied for a night job at McDonalds right across from where I live and I got the job. lol. I'm going to decline it and apply for shift managaer, if I get that, I'll decline it again and apply for manegerial status.

I am awsome.

Gone with the wind ...

Xerxys — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 06:42:38 GMT

I discovered what is wrong with me ... a personality. I lack one. I'm also short sighted but have been tremendously lucky so far. The secret to life is really living it. That's the reason were here. To live.

I thought that in order to curb my bad luck with all my accomplishments was to plan out everything. It worked well. It definitely did NOT work out as I planned. I never moved out of state. I moved five minutes away from my parents. It was a tie between Miami and NYC. But I had my car to pay for and insurance and I realy liked my apartment. Plus out of state fees were expensive. So furnish your apartment, live the life of a bachelor and then go to school.

How swank would that have been. I would be having a kickass apartment all to myself, a car, in school, I would be patrick swayze!! Finally, I would have had a form of compensation for my lack of personality.

Personality, whats that by the way?

I work hard, work out, sleep early (not at all lately, god bless Advil PM and Ibuprofen), wake up early ... I'm polite ... I'm not there yet ... where the hell is there, actualy?

I was born into a poor, poor, poor family. My parent's were hard working people. But I lived with relatives who always needed hand outs. I still blame them for being poor, having no jobs, then getting married and still being por and having no jobs!! WTF is wrong with these people ... My parents were generous so spreading out the bread left some of us ... you know, the ones who were actually BORN into the family, out.

How interesting that I became selfish. Why is it that I never picked up their generousity? I never had anything dammit! I slept and shared single beds with thin blankets. Family reunions consisted of me sitting in corners thinking about how cool it would be to kill em all. I really think you don't have sympathy for people that have no desire to better themsleves.

Now? Now I'm good. My apartment is hot because I don't turn on the a/c long enough to freeze the place like my parents house.

No seriously, I have money now. I have a car. Can you beleive it? It's like I'm 10 years old again. I can walk into a store and get whatever I covet ... WOW!! The power! And it's not really attached to too much responsibility seeing as I don't want anything anymore ... when I was a kid I just wanted things. Things were a symbol of what I couldn't have ... now I have the power to get them, but I don't want them. I'm making my inner child really bitter by growing up.

I want a personality. I want to take back all those angry teenage years and I want another shot at my 21st birthday. I swear I'll get drunk and possibly a DUI. I'll even get mugged ... I'll do anything to turn 21 again.

There's a reason why years don't happen again, because there's no need for repetition. I would do it all again THE SAME DAMN WAY!!

But I have a chance to be a frat boy now. I've arranged for my lease to be broken by end of November. I will sell the damn bed and the damn car!! OK, maybe not the car. I'll pop my collar and drink my self shitless just so I can post that I've experienced a hangover. I won't drive at the same time though. I've been given another chance to be a kid. I'll make it worthwhile.

TFP, I'm going back to school.

My Priorities are FINE!! Thankyou!

Xerxys — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:51:46 GMT

Well,

On a snap decision to go study abroad (somewhere where allegedly it's free) I was faced with quite a dillemma. My King size bed. I just got it. It's less than three months old. My apartment has no furniture save for the bed and the night stand. With a lamp on it. I must say my bedroom is very beutiful. Before I invite girls to my house I ask them "wanna see where tha magic doesn't happen?" We all know how succesful that has been lately.

What does a suingle guy who never get's any action need a King Size bed for, you ask ... you see, ever since I was born I slept on a single bed. VERY FUCKIN' UNCOMFORTABLE. So I, casting all illusions of moderation aside, went all out and purchased a King size bed.

No later than a week of owning it outright as mine and my own only I get a call from my aunt in Germany who has been having extensive conversations with my mom and wants me to go live with her. Now I would never turn away a chance to live in Europe seeing as it is my favourite continent but gosh ... go back to a single bed? Jeez!! I know how this sounds, "waaaa waaaa, I don't want an education because I have a King size bed!! waaaa waaaa" but man, you would understand if you slept on a single bed all your life!!