So, as I type this from the car thinking I can't standany more of this gospel music and wondering how long till I'll grab the wheel and kill all of us to spare me the agony I can'thelp but wonder how long a trip has been overdue for me.

Yesterday I stayed with friends from Philly. I had fun on the way up turning down some dude with a sob story about how he got laid off and he needed gas money and food while he and his girlfriend was holding a cigarrette. I'm such an SOB!

Now, when we got to PA we were supposed to spend the night and leave the next morning but my in-laws had added yet another cousin to the number and visitations had to be arranged. I was holding the baby when my little niece walked over, kissed the hours old newborn, and sneezed. My mouth acted on itself when I said, "H1N1 welcomes you to the world." The mother was not very pleased!

Later on I visited my friend who's daughter has autism. I'm not sure what kind it is, I would...

From reading this thread I get people have become really disconnected to elegance and manners. The same people that complain about fashion trends are the same ones that constantly accuse mainstream behavior to be of "douche-baggy" tendencies. You don't wear [insert recent fashion trend here] and claim to "only go for comfort". Naturally, by the extension that they don't dress like you, anyone who wears what you think is stupid is a douche-bag ... no? That's how I see it.

Like this for example ...

I will be very bold and open myself to public lynching when I say the above post speaks for 90% of us here on TFP. Anyone who is dark brown in color, has tattoo T-shirts and shiny sweatshirt is a guido. Anyone who's blond, wears tight pants and carries her little shitzu in her purse is a ...erm, whats the...

So, as a disclaimer, snowy and MSD, I got my balls covered!!

Friday night was to mark the end of August. The very of summer in my mental calendar and I had done nothing to commemorate the season. I was in a state of self loathing so well pronounced it rang hard in my ears and I constantly reminded myself of my lack of accomplishments.

08/28/2009 10:59 PM >> Front End Payroll System logs a CLOCK OUT!

In order to assuage these feelings I decided to do what any normal human being would do, and that is go to a club ... despite swearing I would never do this again. I went out. The night was fantastic.

08/28/2009 11:42 PM >> I arrive at Hi5!

There I was, a snazzy looking skinny guy seated on a tan leather couch contemplating my freedom year in self pity clutching a Heineken wondering what the hell I'm doing. I'm no womanizer, I tell myself constantly while sipping the insipid brew. I mean honestly alcohol...

So perhaps Stolen car by Carina Round can explain best what i feel.

There's this girl at work ... she's gorgeous. She goes even as far as talking to me which is awesome. But how she talks to me is a whole nether story. I am going to be fired for sexual harassment one of this days.

Anyway, this girl, she looks like a latino Halle Berry and sits on my lap when she damn well pleases. So about two weeks ago I was a having a severe case of office pitch-a-tentinitis. I was staring at my computer trying, HARD, and failing, to figure out the appropriate English vocabulary required to be placed in an e-mail about handle time statistics when she shows up from no where, spins my chair and sits on my damn lap!!

It all went south from there. and before I go any further, may I take this moment to curse my damn weight. Made it easy for her to spin the stupid chair!! From then on I get some of the worst sexual innuendos my perverted mind can possibly concoct....

No! I do NOT have OCD! But I work with dirty girls. And not the good kinda dirty ... They have dirt underneath their nails. Why? Very well manicured nails, but a distinct dark line beneath them. And no, I don't work at a farm.

A while back we had a tornado warning and we were asked to abandon all posts and congregate in the center of the building. Everyone, including the women, told me it was the ladies bathroom. I swear to god I still think it's a broken sewer pipe or something because the smell was just so bad!! No one can possibly stand that smell. It was highschool all again.

Now the ratio of unclean men to women is probably equal if not more men but aren't women supposed to be ... well, cleaner? I probably don't notice the men either but they're not asking me for hugs y'know!! The thing is, if you extend your hand out for me to shake it I'm gonna notice stuff, which opens a whole gateway of other things. The yellow teeth, the creased clothes, the buttcrack...