http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ Living better through the wisdom of others. en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:15:59 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/images/insignia/misc/rss.jpg http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/ http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/152015-more-relationship-stuff.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:04:18 GMT For all of you who have helped me in giving advice the last couple posts regarding my relationship problems, I thank you. There's a lot of reasons why it's not going to work out between us. Not sure where to begin...I didn't mention the fact that there was hardly any room between my last relationship and this one. And the baggage was carried over. And it was too soon to have a relationship again. I feel horrible for what I have put him through, the jealousy especially, it got so bad that he has needed space all this week from me.

The only thing now that I want to concentrate on is me, me, me. As my friends have been giving me advice as well, they say the same thing...I need to find myself, and then I can find someone to share myself with. But until I am complete, there's no way of being able to share myself with someone else if I don't know myself. The narcissistic behavoir has got to end. It's too much, even for me. I wouldn't want to date me right now.

So anyways, I am glad to have found this online community, I'm very thankful for all of you and your advice. Oh, and I plan on going to therapy, I think it would help greatly. Thanks to all again! ]]> Tilted Life crystalan http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/152015-more-relationship-stuff.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151994-diamond-stud-earrings-guys.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:04:15 GMT I have the classic "one piercing in each ear" with my upper cartilage pierced in one ear as well and have always been a "hoops" guy. Generally, I keep them in unless I am playing basketball or boxing and having earrings that come out quickly and easily has always been a priority. I've been thinking adding some studs to my repertoire, mainly for special occasions. There's no way I would get a pair of ostentatious "look-at-me" diamond rocks, but something more classy. I want to get a gauge of opinions out there on what you think a "tasteful" size in diamond stud earrings would be. Also, what cut do you think is most appropriate for guys--straight up round ones or squared? And is "Princess-cut" really as femme as it sounds? ]]> Tilted Life essendoubleop http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151994-diamond-stud-earrings-guys.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151963-sexism-political-correctness.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:48:32 GMT I would like to make a general point in relation to my own experiences of comments made to/about me on this board. As bizzare as it may seem to some people, I - a strongly committed feminist - have been accused on multiple occasionsof being a sexist on this board. The kind of things I do and... I would like to make a general point in relation to my own experiences of comments made to/about me on this board.

As bizzare as it may seem to some people, I - a strongly committed feminist - have been accused on multiple occasionsof being a sexist on this board.

The kind of things I do and believe in are:

- I stand up and offer my seat to a woman on a bus if no other seats are available
- I hold open doors for women
- If I'm driving and I can see a woman driver waiting at a junction I'll stop and let her out
- I do my best to moderate my fucking language when in the presence of a woman
- If with a group of friends on a night out, I wouldnt let a female walk home alone, but would walk with her, or wait for her taxi/lift etc. I live in a town were a couple of years ago five young women were taking off the streets and murdered - I dont claim to be superman, but I think the realistic situation (and it shouldnt have to be that way) is that my presence would make a women safer on the streets at night.


I dont do these things because I think that women cannot open doors for themselves or can bare standing on a bus journey less than I can, but because I happen to believe in some old fashioned values and treating the female gender with respect.

Some of the politically correct mob believe things like this are offensive, that it is somehow patronising to do things like hold open doors, help a woman lift something heavy in the car park of a superstore, etc...

In the real world it is my belief that these behaviours are seen as normal, rational and positive

I wonder what thoughts other people have. ]]> Tilted Life Strange Famous http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151963-sexism-political-correctness.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151958-lets-take-things-slowly-kiss-death.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 14:12:35 GMT So I've been going out for 3 months now with a girl who's beautiful, fun and intelligent. Yesterday she told me she wanted to 'take things slowly' - every time this has happened in the past its been not long after that a breakup has happened.

I'm thinking that perhaps this is on the cards again, and she's just finding a polite way to create the breathing room to end things.

I'm interested in what the ladies have to say - has 'taking it slowly' ever resulted in a good relationship, or is it just girl-code, one of the many things us dumbass guys don't really pick up on.

I'm not looking for an opinion on what it might mean in my particular case -for that you'd have to know too many intricacies of the relationship dynamic. Just interested in your experiences - guys too. ]]> Tilted Life Grey2000 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151958-lets-take-things-slowly-kiss-death.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151927-cheap-housing.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:01:58 GMT Anyone know the cheapest way to establish a permanent residence? In my opinion, modern homes are mansions compared to the types of homes people lived in for 99.99% of human history. They were real people who lived full, rich, rewarding lives, I think, so I don't see why I need anymore than they had. Plus, I don't want to be a slave to a mortgage. But, paying for a small apartment ends up costing almost the same or more than a house, so that's just as bad. I thought about getting an airstream trailer and just parking it on a piece of land and living out of that, but when I looked at the price of land I was surprised to see that it costs almost as much as a house. I'm pretty naive when it comes to these sorts of things. I'm not against living in a trailer park, if a trailer park were just a place to park a trailer, but I associate them with people that I wouldn't want to associate with. Am I right about that? Are there nice trailer parks? Where? Electricity is a must, enough to power a guitar amp, and I'd like to have some modern conveniences like a stove and a refrigerator. I'd like to have running water and a sewage system, but if those things make a huge difference in the cost of living, I think I could find a way to manage without. Any ideas? ]]> Tilted Life noahfor http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151927-cheap-housing.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151920-feeling-alone-tonight.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 02:50:18 GMT This is a sad one. Anyone ever feel like you are the only person in the world? There's no one to support you or get you feeling happy and silly, or just to have some random wild fun? It feels like that tonight. I don't know, something's just not right tonight. Tell me something funny, stupid, etc. Get me feeling good again. ]]> Tilted Life crystalan http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151920-feeling-alone-tonight.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151899-aaaaargh-family-drama-i-go-back-czech-republic.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:06:33 GMT OK folks, this is partly a rant and partly a request for advice. First, a little background. My family manufactures drama the way Catholics and Jews manufacture guilt. The central locus of this drama is my younger sister. This is the most selfish, immature, sensitive, easily-provoked,... OK folks, this is partly a rant and partly a request for advice.

First, a little background.

My family manufactures drama the way Catholics and Jews manufacture guilt. The central locus of this drama is my younger sister. This is the most selfish, immature, sensitive, easily-provoked, attention-whoring, self-obsessed, self-destructive, passive-aggressive, manipulative and dishonest person I've ever encountered. This includes lawyers, politicians, and used-car salesmen with bad comb-overs. Every single one of these traits approaches the point of sociopathy; zero empathy. I want what I want and I'll do whatever/whomever I have to in order to get it. The Ends justify The Means...for me. Everyone else needs to be nice to me and give me whatever I want, because I'm The Awesome. Over the course of the past decade, this person has been a prostitute, an addict to just about everything imaginable, a college drop-out at least twice, various kinds of a thief and fraud (everything from identity fraud to skipping out on $100,000 hospital bills incurred when her track-marks got infected), and probably every kind of a mooch and leech you can think of.

Her usual M.O. is to find some poor weak-minded fool, then make nice/sling pussy for as long as it takes to;
1: Move into, and then trash, his apartment,
2: Get a "job" which will allow her to come to work drunk/stoned/strung-out every day while only requiring a few hours per week of actual presence,
3: Lose said "job" for fucking things up while drunk, refusing to carry out her contractual obligations because they conflict with some newly-discovered religious/political/philosphical belief,
4: Go out, get slobbering-stupid drunk, fuck 6-12 of the guys friends and relatives,
5: Get pissed when he gets pissed that his "girlfriend" has trashed his domicile, lost her job, drunk all his drink, eaten all his food, smoked all his smoke, fucked half the zip-code, and is now demanding that he replace all of the above plus buy her a new computer/shoes/car,
6: Leave to go find some new slob to pull this on. When this doesn't work, she invariably tries to move home to pull the same shit on us (Madre, Padre, Grand-Pere, and my good self).

She's been doing this little routine, in cities all over the US and Canada, for ten years now. She has the impulse-control of a crank-addicted Mayfly and seems to think that other people exist in order to validate, excuse, and fix her horrifically bad decisions and their inevitable results.

Her most recent stay at home lasted for all of 5 months and followed a similar pattern.

1: Arrive. Spend 3-6 weeks being nice and agreeable, cleaning up after herself, and helping out. Sometimes she even manages to find a job.
2: Realize (again) that yes, life on a farm/business is WORK, and that she's expected to pull her own (allegedly adult) weight around here.
3: Realize that nobody's going to cut her any slack here because (duh!) we can't be bribed/bought with pussy, drugs, or platitudes we've heard 90-bajillion times already.
4: Demand that slack be cut, act resentful and resume passive-aggressive shit when slack isn't cut. Lie, manipulate, and steal her way through as much family food/drink/money/time/resources as possible while...
5: Start showing up for work drunk, partying all night with deeply questionable sketchball local idiots, and generally making a cunt of herself.
6: Demand that people stop giving her a hard time for doing things like passing out in the parking-lot, spilling Rum & Coke all over $20,000 worth of firearms, and nearly driving 4-wheelers into ponds while drunk. Likewise demand a "buy" on sleeping through her chores, taking 15-minute "roll your own smoke" breaks every 45 mins, and repeatedly dumping rolling tobacco/booze/food all over other people beds, work-spaces, and various common areas while inhebriated.
7: Get pissed when people don't quit expecting her to act like an adult, repeat Steps 4-6 as above, leaving in the middle of the night and abandoning 9 metric ass-tonnes of junk, garbage, clothes, old food, nd half-empty beer bottles, which -other- people then have to clean up. Liberally sprinkle Steps 4-7 with thinly-veiled threats of suicide.

And now, after all of this, repeated ad nauseum, ad infinitum over the past 10 years, she found some slob dumb enough to -marry- her...after 4 weeks of drinking together. When the feces contacted the rotary air impeller, as they always do, she elected (as usual) for the most self-destructive, passive-aggressive, self-aggrandizing stunt she could think of to attract the validation and freebies she thinks the world owes her: a melodramatic suicide attempt. Apparently this one (unlike the previous three) came close to working. The predictable result was that her husband (doubtless sick to death of Steps 2-5 in that first paragraph) told her to take her drama and bullshit and gethafuckout.

I am so sick of this endless drama and crap that I could puke. This has been more-or-less her "default mode" since she was 16. Now, my baby sis has some shit to deal with. She's got some physical issues which aren't very forgiving, in a lot of ways, and she and I didn't exactly have what you'd call a functional childhood. But her reaction to all of this, instead of trying to make things better, has been to wallow endlessly in the attitudes and mindsets of a spoiled early-teenage girl. She convinces people to finance the building of bridges, crosses those bridges, then BURNS those bridges...and then wonders where this water came from and why she can't walk across it. She uses people, exploits them, screws them every way she can...and then wonders why they don't want to fuck her, smoke her up, or buy her drinks anymore. If this woman could think up a way to convince herself that Newton's Laws of Motion didn't apply to her, she would spend years hurling herself out of trees and wondering why she kept breaking her leg in an attempt to fly; Gravity is for -other- people. She's been in and out of hospitals, loony-bins, and on various sorts of medication for this kind of shit since she was 17, and has been diagnosed with everything from Borderline Personality Disorder to borderline psychosis to simple everyday Incurable Bitch Syndrome.

And frankly, after 27 years of defending her, keeping her secrets, alibying her, justifying her, protecting her as best I can...I have run out of patience. I simply don't have the heart to keep doing this. I've spent my entire life wanting nothing but to be her big brother, to help her and protect her and God-forbid be allowed to love her...only to have it thrown back in my face and be abandoned. And now she's tried to abandon me AGAIN. This womanchild has stabbed me in the back so many times I've got scars on my scars. But I think I've finally run out of patience, for her and her self-serving bullshit. I've also decided that, to whatever extent I have been in the past, I am -done- with enabling her crap.

So my question to you, good people of the TFP, is this:

Have I flipped my shit here? Am I being unreasonable? Please; tell me if I am, because I want to help her anyway that I can. Unfortunately, she decided long ago that she was past help, and decided that instead of getting better the logical thing to do was simply to drink/fuck/smoke/inject/bridge-burn her way into an early grave; and yes, she's directly told me that, in so many words.

I don't want to resign myself to having to go down to some dismal mortuary and identify my baby sister. But I am rapidly reaching the conclusion that I may have no choice, because she's decided that she's going to end her days badly no matter what happens.

Some days I just want to move back to Prague...or maybe Mongolia...put a few "Rand McNally-scale" geographical features between myself and all this endless crap. But unlike my sister, I don't turn and run out, especially not on family.

So what, in y'all's opinion, are my options here? What can I do? Anything? Nothing? Hit me with the ideas, folks, 'cause I'm tapped out. Could use some insight and wisdom on this one. ]]> Tilted Life The_Dunedan http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151899-aaaaargh-family-drama-i-go-back-czech-republic.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151864-am-i-overeacting-creationism.html Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:07:49 GMT Creationism to me is a social issue. I got myself into this mess when I decided to resume my casual studies on evolution and natural selection. I was shocked to see that this field of science is under direct attack by complete morons. The more I read the more outraged I became at the ignorance... Creationism to me is a social issue.

I got myself into this mess when I decided to resume my casual studies on evolution and natural selection. I was shocked to see that this field of science is under direct attack by complete morons. The more I read the more outraged I became at the ignorance manifesting itself around this subject. It scares me see the Creationism movement permeating our political and social landscape.

"You know it's still called the theory of evolution. But they teach evolution in the Ontario curriculum, but they also could teach the fact to the children that there are other theories that people have out there that are part of some Christian beliefs." - John Tory, leader of the Ontario Conservative party.

Every time I hear stuff like this my jaw drops and steam comes out of my ears. I want to tell myself that this is just a phase and all will pass but really feel like this is symptom of a much greater issue: ignorance is running rampant in our society.

I'm at a loss of what to do about it.

The questions I'm pursuing concerning the Creationism movement are:
Is the pursuit of science obstructed?
Is this a case of blind leading the blind or a form social and political manipulation?
Will we see the rise of creationist astronomy, geology, physics? ]]> Tilted Life Mantus http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151864-am-i-overeacting-creationism.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151841-librium-librax.html Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:13:14 GMT ISO anyone who's familiar with the drug - and not just through Google. Was recently prescribed Librax and I'd like to talk to someone about it.

FYI, Librax is a hypnotic / sedative that also contains a smooth muscle relaxer. It's primarily prescribed for IBS, which is why it was prescribed to me. When the pain / spasms start, it only makes sense the person starts to freak out, causing more pain and spasms, hence, the sedative. Apparently it can be quite addictive. Before I start this up, I'd like to know what to expect. I Googled pretty hard and I did hit Erowid - there's not too much posted there but enough to tell me it can be used recreationally. Would just like more info. ]]> Tilted Life wooÐs http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151841-librium-librax.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151824-vasovagal-syncope-anyone-else-sufferer.html Fri, 06 Nov 2009 23:51:57 GMT Yesterday I had another incident of vasovagal syncope, one of many in my life. For those who don't know what that is, basically it's loss of consciousness due to some sort of trigger that causes the vagus nerve to lower blood pressure...in other words, fainting. My trigger is needles. I don't always faint, but yesterday I had a needle in both arms, the second was the H1N1 vaccination and it was a larger needle...obvious discomfort. I work in a hospital and flu immunization is necessary to protect both staff and patients. I always tell whoever is giving me a needle that I'm a fainter and I ask to lie down if possible, but yesterday all that was available was a two seater chair. So I sat up and took the first needle without too much stress, but the second was a trigger. It sneeks up on me after the fact. I sat there putting pressure on the injection site for about five minutes before I felt the need to actually lie down. My legs were hanging over the end of the two seater, so the nurses brought another chair over for me to eleavate my feet, but by then things were already going wrong. I thought I was going to be alright, I can usually tell if I'm going to pass out by the way my vision goes black and fuzzy around the edges, and can let someone know I'm going...but yesterday it came on fast. Half a second maybe, and I was out. The strangest thing about fainting is that I'm aware of dreaming, but it's like dreaming in warp speed and once I come to I'm in such a state of confussion I can never remember what they were about. For the first few seconds after I come to, I never know where I am, who is talking to me, even if it's someone I've know all my life, and I can't even remember how to talk. It's as if language doesn't exist. My thoughs are just confussed emotions. The experience always drains me. I wake up sweating, and then I shake for about 15 minutes. Yesterdays episode was the most intense that I've had for a long time. I felt nausious for two hours. I hate that I can't control it.

Dose anyone else have this affliction? If so...any suggestions for overcoming it? ]]> Tilted Life seamaiden http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151824-vasovagal-syncope-anyone-else-sufferer.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151783-men-skin-care-routine.html Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:43:46 GMT Hi, I`m a 21 year old guy. I want to know what is the basic skin care routine for men. Especially the face. Hi, I`m a 21 year old guy. I want to know what is the basic skin care routine for men. Especially the face. ]]> Tilted Life newone321 http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151783-men-skin-care-routine.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151777-anyone-well-versed-rats.html Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:08:16 GMT Almost a year ago now, my friend's rat gave birth and she decided to give me one. At first I admit I was kind of against it, but I took her anyway. Wound up being one of the better decisions I've made in a long time. I've developed quite a bond with the little girl.

Her name's Freya.


(her tail's much cleaner than that now)

Recently I've noticed that she's making kind of funny noises - she seems to go into these "hiccuping" fits and once in a while she makes these noises that I can only describe as "chuckling" (if you've dealt with ferrets you know that sound). It doesn't seem to be bothering her a lot - she still acts like she always does. She does have these lethargic spells, but she's always been kind of moody. But I find it disconcerting all the same. I'm worried she may have something. There's another rat in with her named Marlena that doesn't seem to have any problems at all so if Freya has something it isn't contagious.

So I guess my question is, if you've had a pet rat, have you come across this? If you have, what did you do to remedy it?

Thanks. ]]> Tilted Life Pogue Mahone http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151777-anyone-well-versed-rats.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151749-thread-going-filled-nothing-but-positivity-freeflowing-love.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:20:09 GMT For those who aren't jaded, funked out, depressed or hopeless......come to this thread and post little motivational / inspirational sayings. Something - few words, poem, joke, etc - something that would make someone chuckle if they were bogged down at work and tweaking out on coffee and Nutra Sweet and they had 3 deadlines that ended 30 minutes ago.

One post could be like shot of wholesomeness for someone's soul. An instant break in the clouds. You get what I'm saying.

k, ummmm.... " Bad things happen only so good things can." ]]> Tilted Life wooÐs http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151749-thread-going-filled-nothing-but-positivity-freeflowing-love.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151747-banking-cc-questions.html Sun, 01 Nov 2009 23:10:37 GMT I have two separate issues with my banks.

1) Bank of America right now is charging its customers 10 dollars a month for a "monthly service fee" for anyone who has under 750 dollars in their account. This is obviously another scheme to milk poor people's money because there's no way people like me, college student doing work study that pays peanuts, can have a balance over 750 dollars all the time in my account. I talked to the customer rep. over the phone and he said there's nothing he can do about it. I'd like a second opinion before I close my account with this Bank. The only hesitation I have about closing my account with this bank is it's very convenient to do banking with BOA. They have ATMs every where so I don't have to worry about 2-4, some times 5 dollar service fee for using other banks' ATMs or those I see in convenient stores.


2) I only have ONE credit card in my entire adult life. It comes as a pre-approved card with a credit line of 7,500. At first I've been able to pay off my balance when I was in CA working full time. But ever since I came back to WA I've been stupid. As I continue to make payments on the card, they continue to expand my credit line, it's now up to 15,000. Not knowing this was a trick I kept on spending and spending and has accumulated over 6,000 dollars on that one card (a portion of that goes to tuition). I've still been able to make at least minimum payment every month but the damn thing doesn't seem to go down. My dad had the same card as I do, same interest rate of 10.9%, and got it at the same time. His interest rate has gone down since I last checked. Mine, however, remains the same since the day I got it. 10.9% interest rate on a 6,000 debt is a lot to handle for me at this moment. I talked to the customer service rep. about lowering the interest rate down but they told me the same thing every time: "We don't do requests. We review our customers' account every year and will award them with lower interest rate accordingly" or something like that. I'm tired of that line and I don't believe it any more. There's gotta be something I can do about it.

The issuer is BECU, a supposedly "nonprofit" credit union. But here they are employing the same tricks as the commercial banks so I'm having some serious doubts about them. I'm also contemplating about closing my account with this bank as well once I paid off all my debt.

And can any one recommend to me a good bank that won't screw me over? Pleasseeee? ]]> Tilted Life KellyC http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151747-banking-cc-questions.html http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151721-i-think-really-fucked-up-got-into-fight-front-my-gf.html Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:00:21 GMT christ, there should be a way to block the internet when youre drunk. christ, there should be a way to block the internet when youre drunk. ]]> Tilted Life Strange Famous http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-life/151721-i-think-really-fucked-up-got-into-fight-front-my-gf.html