Warf Rat

It's great to see everyone put things into perspective here.
My thought. If you wait until you can afford it, you'll never start. If you wait until your ready, there's never a day you wake up ready. If you think getting away while owning a dog is tough, it is. You will rarely want to be away from your child. It's a non-issue.

I have two children and on grandchild. I was too young, not prepared, completely broke (actually homeless). Also, I am not very religious. That said.
You are about to enter the greatest time of your life. He or she will remind you every day that there is a god, and you have purpose. It gets better daily (until about age 13). Even then it's harder but awesome.

Imagine the pride you will feel with every stage of life knowing that he/she is half YOU. There's no better place to be.

It may take time, but you will understand. You've just learned that your life has changed forever, and it's the greatest thing in the world.

Best of luck

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A day late, and a dollar short.

Halanna

I can't speak to your feelings right now. It's individual, personal and unique.

But I can tell you my story.

When I got pregnant with our son, we were young, dumb and clueless.

Just married, living in an apartment with no furniture. Idiots.

We were using birth control. (obviously it failed)

I drank, smoked cigarettes and generally negleted what should have been the health of my unborn child.

But I was young, dumb and clueless.

My son is now 16. Will be 17 in December. He's 6'3", 190lbs.

He just left the 10th grade with a 4.45 GPA. He's being currently courted by The University of Notre Dame for a full 4 year academic scholarship. Funny, He's thinking of holding out for a better school.

Kids, sigh.

Love your child. Don't stuff that child into daycare at 6 weeks. Don't underestimate the love that a parent gives that child in his/her early years. My husband worked two full time jobs to provide for us, so I could stay home and take care of our son.

I'm not a medical doctor, I can't attest that what you do or don't do will be good or bad for the developing baby.

I'm confident that all babies needs love. Acceptance. A parent at home. Not at daycare.

jimk

no........

because you don't want to any little people like you running around and we don't either. just because you're aware of the fact that you would be a shitty parent doesn't mean humans should stop reproducing.

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raw power is a guaranteed o.d.

raw power is a laughin' at you & me

-iggy

Plan9

Oh-ho, and I'll assume you're a bitter mediocre parent who's defending all they have left to live for in the world.

Lotta good assumption does us both, huh?

...

My point is that the OP shouldn't have another kid just because the biology happened. The biology can happen again and again. Financial stability, emotional readiness, etc... those are what require the real cultivation to be successful in This Modern World (TM).

You wouldn't bring in every puppy / kitten / homeless person that shows up on your doorstep just because it was there, would ya?

Noooo, it's a big deal to care for another living thing, especially one that is completely helpless for years and mostly helpless at 18.

...

Reproduction: it doesn't make you special.

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"The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people."

Formerly username "Crompsin."

Sue

Anal? *lmao*

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Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

ASU2003

You need to make that bumper sticker.

Plan9

No, ma'am, not what I was getting at... but much more fun.

__________________
"The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people."

Formerly username "Crompsin."

hunnychile

It's quite comforting to see how many people say that they are glad (and happy or blessed) that they're a parent! Looks like 90% or so, if one were to score these responses. No need, it's all clear and interesting to read and understand how so many of the accidental parents learned to love the babies and were glad that they kept their kids and/or didn't run away from their responsibilities.

Thanks NoSoup for your original post, and everyone who has shared their story since it gives me some hope for our future. Those of you who are "absolutely opposed" must have your own private reasons for being so down on having kids.

It's no surprise that loved kids tend to become loved parents.

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"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make" - The Beatles

Sue

You have to admit, that would have been a perfect A word for this thread though.

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Teg yw edrych tuag adref.

Plan9

Well, Jazz told me that I'm never serious in any of these threads so I was trying to be all Marty Mature. Heh.

But yeah, the best joke one-liner for this thread would have been: "Anal: Safe fun for everyone!"

Seriously.

__________________
"The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people."

Formerly username "Crompsin."

NoSoup

Well, Since this thread officially marks the day we found out we were pregnant, I figure I might as well continue the trend, if for nothing else it helps me keep my dates in order.

Today we had our second ultrasound, and found out with a relatively high degree of certainty that we will, in fact, be having a boy. If it isn't a boy, then my daughter is hung like a horse.

As far as our emotional well being and current state of mind, I certainly feel a lot less like vomiting. Lots of things have been changing lately (job, living situation, etc) so I don't know how much of an impact that has, but life seems to be pretty crazy. Overall, doing alright, though to be quite honest I'm still quite terrified, though I'm sure it will eventually pass.

I did take a step forward, and touched a child (wow, that sounds perverted - held hands while guiding him up the stairs) for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Obviously, I have a long way to go, but I didn't melt or die, so I suppose that's progress...

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I have an aura of reliability and good judgement.

Just in case you were wondering...

dlish

Nosoup, baby-lish is now almost 8 weeks old. i remember going through the exact same feelings you did. you'll continue having them a little while longer too.

dont be freaked out at how long it may take..good luck and let us know how things are going.

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An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere
"Romance is never having to apologize for getting it in her hair" - World's King

Xerxys

You parent people on TFP are disgusting ... NoSoup already beginning to comment on how his kids are well hung ... whos gonna be the next one to say their kids can throw a baseball at 95 MP/h.

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Proper planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance.

GreyWolf

First, let me express my heartfelt sympathy to you Alicat. My wife had a hard time getting pregnant the first time ... went through test after test, finally ended up on fertility drugs to which she reacted very badly. And so, month after month, we would feel the disappointment of a no result. Eventually we succeeded, but I know how badly each "failure" felt, and I can only imagine how much worse your pain is. Again, my deepest sympathy for your situation.

For NoSoup... I was more than ready, but I always new I wasn't a "baby" person. I like kids, but having to go through the baby-phase to get to an age where they're fun (say, 4+) was a necessary evil in my mind. Let me tell you from the far side of babies, they are just as much work & mess as I ever thought, but WORLDS OF FUN & ENJOYMENT more than I ever imagined.

You play the hand life deals you, and sometimes you find it's a lot better one than you thought. I think a year or 2 from now, you'll find it hard to believe you had any trepidation about having the child.

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She was not quite what you would call refined.

She was not quite what you would call unrefined.

She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. - Mark Twain

Vigilante

Well it's good that you took it that well. My wife played a joke on me once where she took apart a preggers test and highlighted it positive. Oh man. I didn't freak, but she said my "face was priceless". Har har. Very funny. >_<

She told me if she got prego she would run to planned parenthood. I'd stop her and make her get in the truck. It's faster

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Stultorum infinitus est numerus

True patriotism is more closely linked to dissent than it is to conformity and a blind desire for safety and security.