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Old 06-01-2004, 08:06 PM   #41 (permalink)
Idolator
 
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Location: One of the smallest towns in.........yes, Tennessee.
Quote:
Originally posted by MaGlC_MaN
I think that if Rod Stewart had a prosthetic leg, then he would rule the world.
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Old 06-01-2004, 09:27 PM   #42 (permalink)
green
 
From the "Who is the Hardest Man in All of Music?" thread (hardest as in toughest, pervert):

Quote:
Originally posted by WarWagon
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Old 06-04-2004, 06:59 PM   #43 (permalink)
MSD
Why would you ever want to be like me?
 
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Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by jwoody
Deathrace 2000 was the toughest race ever despite it's homo-erotic overtones.
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If you catch the evil twin, then why would you keep it alive?
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Old 06-04-2004, 10:08 PM   #44 (permalink)
back from sabbatical
 
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Location: Mosptopia
Quote:
Originally posted by MrSelfDestruct
I call this theory "Schröedinger's Glock"
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Old 06-05-2004, 11:42 AM   #45 (permalink)
Bringer of good Moos...
 
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Location: Midlands, UK
Quote:
Originally posted by Schwan
"Daddy, why are you naked and cutting through the garage door with a Sawzall"

Try explaining that to a kid.
From the above linked thread about entering the house naked, which, if haven't followed the link yet, you MUST do! I'm crying with laughter!!
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Old 06-05-2004, 09:25 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Why would you ever want to be like me?
 
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Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by elfuq
And gas in California is more expensive because of more stringent emmision laws, and gas in the Bay Area is more expensive still because of .. I have no freaking idea. Oil companies want to rip off liberals or something. [/I]
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Old 06-09-2004, 09:49 AM   #47 (permalink)
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Why would you ever want to be like me?
 
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Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by NoSoup
Let me tell you, the moment I walked into Walmart, soaking wet, nearly naked, mud covering my bare feet up to my ankles, with little red bruises from the hail... I was not greeted with a smile.
Quote:
Originally posted by clavus
Ah, my locked-out-of-the-sliding-glass-door-without-clothing brother! Welcome to the club! Your membership card and Sawzall are in the mail.
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Old 06-14-2004, 02:57 AM   #48 (permalink)
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
 
Location: IN, USA
My current siggy from Roboblaster in his response to a guy accepting his own sexuality.

RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.
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RoboBlaster:
Welcome to the club! Not that I'm in the club. And there really isn'a a club in the first place. But if there was a club and if I was in it, I would definitely welcome you to it.
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Old 06-16-2004, 09:48 AM   #49 (permalink)
go to hell
 
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Location: Phx, Az
Quote:
Originally posted by Ripsaw
One of the cats just took a piss in my fiance's purse. That was awesome.
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Old 06-16-2004, 11:17 AM   #50 (permalink)
The Griffin
 
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courtesy of GakFace...

Quote:
hmmm Worlds King in a dress........ The memories... hehehe (or lack there of )
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Old 06-18-2004, 12:14 AM   #51 (permalink)
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Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by Krazyck
well.. my friend and i bought books on self defence, and as it turns out, cats are quite effective self defence weapons.. i mean, when those things pull out thier claws while u whack someone in the face with it, it can really friggin hurt!^_<
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Old 06-20-2004, 10:15 PM   #52 (permalink)
Drifting
 
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Location: Windy City
Blog Entries: 46
Quote:
Originally posted by Yakk


Both spiders and snakes move "wierdly" compared to humans. Like, really wierd.

When we see them move, our brain models their movement, goes "woo woo waba waba" and gets the willies.
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:39 AM   #53 (permalink)
Mustache King
 
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Location: left side of my couch
A lot of great stuff going on in Oz.

Quote:
Originally posted by Ella
Am I the only chick here?
Not that I mind, of course. Just wondering.


Wanna see my tits?
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella
OK, offer withdrawn. I hold the State of Origin completely to blame.
Quote:
Originally posted by Meridae'n
No thanx, I still have the photos that Michael Tunn took of you from your 'groupie phase'.
Quote:
Originally posted by bundy
Quote:
Originally posted by Meridae'n
No thanx, I still have the photos that Michael Tunn took of you from your 'groupie phase'.
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella
You've seen those pics? Damn! There goes the mystique. Still, it is art, don't you know.
Quote:
Originally posted by Meridae'n
I don't know much about art, but I like tits.
Quote:
Originally posted by Latch
That should be Australia's new slogan.
Quote:
Originally posted by Ella
Damn straight.
Quote:
Originally posted by TIO
Here's to that, Latch!

And Ella, just for the record, if the offer goes back on the table, I'd love to see 'em! You can never have too many tits in your day!
Quote:
Originally posted by bundy
Quote:
Originally posted by Meridae'n
I don't know much about art, but I like tits.
i'd like to see those words under our coat of arms...
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Old 06-21-2004, 04:24 AM   #54 (permalink)
Right Now
 
Location: Home
Quote:
[07:12] *** Topic is 'Happy Father's Day from all the illegitamate bastards you've left in your wake (18+)'
[07:12] *** Set by peetster on Sun Jun 20 10:40:25
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Old 06-24-2004, 03:03 PM   #55 (permalink)
green
 
Quote:
Originally posted by ChrisJericho
I want to go to Korea someday... I hear there are Korean chicks EVERYWHERE !!!
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Old 07-02-2004, 12:45 AM   #56 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
More Oz hijinx...

Quote:
Originally posted by kiwiman
Yes, crush us with their suckingness!
Greatest post ever.
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-04-2004, 05:42 AM   #57 (permalink)
The Matrix had a point...
 
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Moderator Emeritus
Location: 10th Mountain ASB Fort Drum, N.Y.
this one had me going because I felt the same way one day...

Let me try to get it started over here, it only takes a thought..

Quote:
*CybermikeHelp! I can't get this frickin whistling tune from kill bill out of my head..*
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Old 07-06-2004, 09:42 PM   #58 (permalink)
Mustache King
 
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Location: left side of my couch
Quote:
Originally posted by Macheath

There's a good side too. I've found quite a few parents unbelievably grateful when I give their kids pages from a coloring book and a few crayons; and the whole table is so much less messy when you do that.

Good not to be serving drunks anymore - try satisfying THEM with a coloring book.
This last cracked me up no end.
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:46 PM   #59 (permalink)
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Why would you ever want to be like me?
 
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Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by Jam
I hat beer
Quote:
Originally posted by sixate
Does that mean you wear it on your head?
Quote:
Originally posted by cchris



Might be a drinking game?
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Old 07-27-2004, 05:00 AM   #60 (permalink)
Loose Cunt
 
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Location: North Bondi RSL
Quote:
Originally posted by tacho in deepest darkest secrets.
slimshaydee sacrificed her hide to give the rower slippery chamois pants.....
Quote:
Originally posted by slimshaydee
I'm a guy.
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What's easier to believe: that a guy was born without sex in the manner of several Greek demigods and grew up to be able to transmute liquids and alter his body density yet couldn't escape government execution, or that three freemasons in a vehicle made with aluminum foil in an era before digital technology escaped our atmosphere, landing on the moon, broadcasted from there, and then flew back without burning up?
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Old 07-28-2004, 02:23 PM   #61 (permalink)
change is hard.
 
thespian86's Avatar
 
Location: the green room.
Blog Entries: 39
Quote:
Originally posted by TheDave87
A train came rolling down the barrel toward my thumb... its destination was Pain Station.
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EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.
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Old 07-29-2004, 10:48 PM   #62 (permalink)
Insane
 
current status of ass: laughed off
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Old 08-01-2004, 11:36 PM   #63 (permalink)
MSD
Why would you ever want to be like me?
 
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Moderator
Location: CT
Quote:
Originally posted by kutulu
Art, are you sure you aren't an underpants gnome?
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Old 08-02-2004, 12:45 AM   #64 (permalink)
Mustache King
 
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Location: left side of my couch
Quote:
Originally posted by raeanna74
I just found it amusing to read the police reports in the local paper that came out last Wednedsay...
July 18 - 6 raccoons reported in tree in front of xxx Prospect St, not causing any trouble, 11:31 pm.
Quote:
Originally posted by mirevolver
Hey those raccoons were profiled. What has this world come to if 6 raccoons can't hang out in a tree on Prospect St?
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Old 08-03-2004, 06:54 AM   #65 (permalink)
It's a girly girl!
 
basmoq's Avatar
 
Location: OH, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by slimshaydee
That's actually a pretty inventive idea of how to smuggle someone. After all who would check there for a person?
Quote:
Originally posted by Glava
Well, apparently, an extra-observant customs inspector.
Quote:
Originally posted by slimshaydee
only because a hand came out of the glove box
Quote:
Originally posted by The Original King
There's a really bad clown car joke here somewhere.
I like the last one by TOK, but you have to read the others to understand it
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Old 08-04-2004, 12:20 AM   #66 (permalink)
Egocentric
 
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Location: World of Warcraft
Quote:
Originally posted by fhqwhgads
Hmmm... I'd pick one of the following:

- Send copy of sex tape to her parents.

- Bang her sister / best friend / mother.


Then again, I'm a romantic.
--jaded
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Old 08-05-2004, 01:08 AM   #67 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Tennessee
im too lazy to post a quote.. wait..

Quote:
Originally posted by MaGlC_MaN
im too lazy to post a quote.. wait..
awesome..
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Old 08-05-2004, 09:37 AM   #68 (permalink)
go to hell
 
sillygirl's Avatar
 
Location: Phx, Az
Quote:
Originally posted by orphen
current status of ass: laughed off
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Old 08-05-2004, 10:04 AM   #69 (permalink)
Of night and light and the half light
 
Mr Mephisto's Avatar
 
Location: Australia
Quote:
Originally posted by onetime2

"Yep, me and 'The' mountain gorilla go waaaay back. Hell I even knew him before the pygmy genius."
Cracks me up.

Mr Mephisto
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Old 08-18-2004, 02:57 AM   #70 (permalink)
In Your Dreams
 
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Location: City of Lights
A simple typo, but for some reason it made me laugh....

Quote:
(19:53:54) Original_King: I met a really nice girl tonight.
(19:54:02) bermuDa: ooh, do tell
(19:54:05) ***bermuDa pulls up a chair
(19:54:48) Original_King: She had come into my bar a few times to "watch" me. I met her at another bar tonight and hit it off. We're goin' out for wine and dancing tomorrow night.
(19:55:06) bermuDa: he came in to watch you? ooh la la
(19:55:37) Original_King: She Bermuda... she...
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Old 09-14-2004, 02:23 PM   #71 (permalink)
Illusionary
 
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Journeyman
Well he can not always be wrong, lest he be wrong about always being wrong, and thus not be wrong about always being wrong, and not always being wrong.

So the second one.

Truly....dizzying
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Old 09-14-2004, 07:28 PM   #72 (permalink)
Squid
 
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Location: USS George Washington
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fremen
air45 is the best quoteable member we have, imho.
Indeed! That's why he's immortalized in my sig. His TB replies are priceless.

-Mikey
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"i do not understand any of this topic to me, yet my skin is crawling on my flesh for creepy!" -- air45
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Old 12-06-2004, 09:04 PM   #73 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
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Location: House Of Horrors
this is a classic Clavus Quote...

Quote:
I don't know which was worse; violating my dog's butt, or the look she gave me afterwards.


had me laughing for ages!!! find the full story HERE
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Last edited by Ishmal; 12-06-2004 at 09:08 PM.. Reason: add a link
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Old 12-06-2004, 09:45 PM   #74 (permalink)
Junkie
 
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ROFL! That story was great

I love air45 also.. He cracks me up every time. I used to search for his name just to reads his replies
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Old 12-06-2004, 10:05 PM   #75 (permalink)
Sleepy Head
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by MikeyChalupa
Most likely to get the biggest ration of shit when the Yankees knock the Sox out of the playoffs: dylanmarsh
Ahhhhh, even 6 weeks later, this still cracks me up.
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Old 12-07-2004, 01:04 AM   #76 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Oh God...I am so glad I don't have a room mate right now because I'm sure if I did they would be fearing for my sanity at the amount that I'm laughing. The dog butt story was just about the funniest thing I've ever read. I was craking up like you wouldn't believe. Poor Cpugamerbb had to hear the hysterics, as I was on the phone with him at the time.
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" I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..."
- Foamy's friend
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Old 12-07-2004, 01:05 AM   #77 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Speaking of cpu, I don't know if PMs count, but oh well
" I WANNA DO YOU. YOU WANNA DO ME. SO LET'S DO IT!!"
Apparently it's just "SO LET'S DO!!"
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"You always said destiny would blow me away. But nothing's gonna blow me away"- Something Coporate
" I do not pop pills! I take them and I eat them..."
- Foamy's friend
Last edited by aphroditeskiss1; 12-07-2004 at 01:09 AM.. Reason: Cpu corrected me
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Old 12-20-2004, 09:28 PM   #78 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
Ishmal's Avatar
 
Location: House Of Horrors
this one made me smile...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Psycho Dad
I'm a tilted nomad going from tilted section to tilted section. Once in a while, I will stop to peek in some tilted windows and then go along my tilted way.
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Old 12-21-2004, 09:35 AM   #79 (permalink)
In Your Dreams
 
Latch's Avatar
 
Location: City of Lights
I laughed...

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Original King
I'm gonna have my own reality show.


"The Guy That Lives In His Mom's Basement That Has No Friends."

It's gonna be great. You can watch me masturbate for and hour then I vote an empty can of Dr.Peper off my desk.
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Old 12-22-2004, 04:29 PM   #80 (permalink)
Wicked Clown
 
Ishmal's Avatar
 
Location: House Of Horrors
howz about...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Echodork
Just goes to show, no matter how old a joke is, someone on the internet hasn't heard it yet.
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