Do you ever take one for the team? - Tilted Forum Project - TFP - Sexuality, Philosophy and Political Discussion

*Nikki* · 11-19-2007, 09:11 PM

This is an expression I use when my husband wants to have sex and I don't

I still want him to be satisfied, but I am just not in the mood. So I allow him to have his way without worrying about pleasuring me, just himself.

So when this happens I tell him "I am just going to take one for the team tonight."

Any other team players?

Jenna · 11-19-2007, 09:43 PM

Yeah, occasionally. But I slowly get into usually.

*Nikki* · 11-19-2007, 10:10 PM

Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason.

onesnowyowl · 11-19-2007, 11:01 PM

Yeah, typically I get into it though.

abaya · 11-20-2007, 05:04 AM

My sex drive appears to be higher and less variable than ktspktsp's, so I "take one" whenever I can, even if I'm not in the mood. I don't generally orgasm with him unless it's during oral sex (fairly rare), so basically, when he feels like doing it, we have sex and he comes. So I guess it's always "one for the team," though I do feel pleasure just from the act of being intimate with him.

Jenna · 11-20-2007, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Nikki*

Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason.

Yeah, I can only say I've done that a FEW times. I can specifically only remember once.

If I'm not into it, he can tell, which makes him not into it.

CaliLivChick · 11-20-2007, 08:53 PM

If I could get into the mood, but it would take some effort, I say "I'm convincible". Otherwise, enh...

*Nikki* · 11-21-2007, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennaboo4u

Yeah, I can only say I've done that a FEW times. I can specifically only remember once.

If I'm not into it, he can tell, which makes him not into it.

Ha! That doesn't effect my husband at all.

Starkizzer · 11-22-2007, 01:21 AM

I have to say that I do "take one for the team" from time to time. I'm a team player especially in the morning when I'm not quite awake but he's looking for some. Sometimes I'm so tired it all just seems like a dream and other times it wakes me up and gets my engine going.

BlueEyes · 11-24-2007, 07:57 PM

I don't ever find myself "taking one for the team." Even if I'm not in the mood, it isn't hard to get me there.

sibylable · 11-25-2007, 10:13 PM

just be yourself

Sweetpea · 11-26-2007, 09:51 PM

I'm almost always up for sex 99.9 percent of the time and on the rare occasion I am not into sex because I might be feeling tired, we usually masturbate together to porn or a shared fantasy...
Since we also share a girlfriend, We have sex so often either with her or together that he doesn't mind a day off here or there on the rare occasion I am really not feeling sexual.

I think whatever works for you, works for you, I don't see any problem with taking it for the team... if he is also interested in doing so by getting you off when he may not be feeling sexual himself.

ghoastgirl1 · 11-26-2007, 11:49 PM

On occasion, although I ended up having a UTI over the thanksgiving break and that was killing my sex drive.
Those things are a real mood-killer.

So sometimes I will when I'm not in the mood. Although like many of you ladies, once we start I enjoy myself, not always getting to the finish line but pretty close.

Juley · 11-27-2007, 07:30 PM

I'm a team player about 20% of the time. Sounds like a lot, but it doesn't really bother me.....As long as he comes through for me every time I'm NOT taking one for the team!

silvrdark · 12-06-2007, 08:58 PM

Complicated question. I suppose I do "take one for the team" occasionally. My problem is one of timing, though. Here's what I mean:

By 10 PM, I'm ready for sex... to be followed by bed. The problem is, my boyfriend has become a bit of an insomniac lately. He is in the middle of something at this point, and no amount of sexy coaxing on my part can pull him away.

Eventually, as the hours roll past, I get so tired and HAVE to go to sleep. Sometime between 2 and 4, my boyfriend rolls up in bed and is finally in the mood. Meanwhile, I'm just drifting into deep sleep. I might be able to roll over and accommodate him, but at this point I rarely have the energy for anything really great.

mixedmedia · 12-07-2007, 03:49 AM

Generally, I am always up for sex. Granted, I am not in a live-in relationship right now, but...

...and I don't want to be a bummer. But I used to 'take one for the team' when I was in a very unhappy marriage...only to get him to shut up...and it always made me feel like shit.

Moral of this story, ladies...if you are unhappy with your relationship and you don't feel like having sex? Don't, don't, don't do it.

jen71au · 12-08-2007, 02:56 AM

I am with mixed media here.

The only time I have "taken one for the team" was when I was in an unhappy relationship.

*Nikki* · 12-08-2007, 01:30 PM

Sorry but there are times when I have absolutely no interest in sex and there is nothing that will get me there, but I still want to please my husband. So that is when we have sex for his sake.

Our marriage is VERY happy and he is my best friend.

jen71au · 12-08-2007, 03:49 PM

I always had a great sex drive, I wasn't suggesting you were unhappy.

I do have to say though, sometimes I wanted to make love, and other times I just wanted to fuck. Though I don't think that is what you were talking about in your first post.

Sometimes it is hard for two people to have the same sex drive. Which is when I suppose, you would find the need to "take one for the team"

IdolGirl · 12-09-2007, 06:19 AM

I was in a relationship for 9 years, and constantly took one for the team. He wanted it 24/7, and I simply did not. Well, he didn't really get the hints of "I'm not in the mood", so I tried telling him point blank that I didn't want to have sex. So he says "ok, I'll leave you alone." Then, right on the heels of saying that, he would start spooning, rubbing my chest, etc..all the typical actions that are FAR from leaving me alone. It got to the point where we would get in a big, wicked fight over his inconsideration and selfishness, me sleeping on the couch, or just have sex and get it over with so he would leave me alone about it.

It got to the point where I resented him for it, and that really put me out of 'the mood'. Our relationship had a lot of issues, so there were other stressors involved, but our sex life went to the toilet. We broke up about a year ago, but I have sworn that I will NEVER 'take one for the team' again.

silvrdark · 12-09-2007, 11:06 PM

I completely understand you. Although my situation is sort of reversed (as in usually I am the one wanting sex), I totally empathize with the selfish assertion you were experiencing.

My guy does that sort of thing in other ways, whether it has to do with where he wants to eat dinner, or how he thinks I should feel about some issue.

mixedmedia · 12-10-2007, 03:26 AM

Just for the record, I did not mean to suggest that anyone not 'take it for the team' at any time. Just not to be pressured into sex if you don't want it in an unhappy relationship.

ItWasMe · 12-11-2007, 09:58 AM

I am willing to 'take one for the team' once in a while, if I am not in the mood. However, if I don't manage to get into the mood, hubby can tell. And that makes him not into it. He says there is more to sex than just the physical part.

11-19-2007, 09:11 PM	#1 (permalink)
Nikki open to interpretation Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Charleston, SC	Do you ever take one for the team? This is an expression I use when my husband wants to have sex and I don't I still want him to be satisfied, but I am just not in the mood. So I allow him to have his way without worrying about pleasuring me, just himself. So when this happens I tell him "I am just going to take one for the team tonight." Any other team players? __________________ "not all who wander are lost"

11-19-2007, 10:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Nikki open to interpretation Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Charleston, SC	Yes, for the most part that USUALLY happens for me also. However there are times when I just can't get into it for whatever reason. __________________ "not all who wander are lost"

11-19-2007, 11:01 PM	#4 (permalink)
onesnowyowl feeling evil Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Corvallis, Oregon	Yeah, typically I get into it though. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

11-20-2007, 05:04 AM	#5 (permalink)
abaya Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Iceland	My sex drive appears to be higher and less variable than ktspktsp's, so I "take one" whenever I can, even if I'm not in the mood. I don't generally orgasm with him unless it's during oral sex (fairly rare), so basically, when he feels like doing it, we have sex and he comes. So I guess it's always "one for the team," though I do feel pleasure just from the act of being intimate with him. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

11-20-2007, 08:53 PM	#7 (permalink)
CaliLivChick California Resident (again) Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Travis AFB, CA	If I could get into the mood, but it would take some effort, I say "I'm convincible". Otherwise, enh... __________________ Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind.

11-19-2007, 09:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
Jenna Psycho Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Wisconsin	Yeah, occasionally. But I slowly get into usually.

11-22-2007, 01:21 AM	#9 (permalink)
Starkizzer Hi floor! Make me a samwich. Join Date: May 2005 Location: Victorville/Pomona	I have to say that I do "take one for the team" from time to time. I'm a team player especially in the morning when I'm not quite awake but he's looking for some. Sometimes I'm so tired it all just seems like a dream and other times it wakes me up and gets my engine going. __________________ Formerly LCfedup Starkizzer Fan Club President: im2smrt4u Vice President: Tully Mars Secretary of the Interior: jerseyboy

11-24-2007, 07:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
BlueEyes Upright Join Date: Nov 2007	I don't ever find myself "taking one for the team." Even if I'm not in the mood, it isn't hard to get me there.

11-25-2007, 10:13 PM	#11 (permalink)
sibylable Banned Join Date: Sep 2007	just be yourself

11-26-2007, 09:51 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sweetpea Fade out Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: in love	I'm almost always up for sex 99.9 percent of the time and on the rare occasion I am not into sex because I might be feeling tired, we usually masturbate together to porn or a shared fantasy... Since we also share a girlfriend, We have sex so often either with her or together that he doesn't mind a day off here or there on the rare occasion I am really not feeling sexual. I think whatever works for you, works for you, I don't see any problem with taking it for the team... if he is also interested in doing so by getting you off when he may not be feeling sexual himself. __________________ Having a Pet Will Change Your Life! Looking for a great pet?! Click Here! "I am the Type of Person Who Can Get Away With A lot, Simply Because I Don't Ask Permission for the Privilege of Being Myself"

11-26-2007, 11:49 PM	#13 (permalink)
ghoastgirl1 Junkie Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: College Station	On occasion, although I ended up having a UTI over the thanksgiving break and that was killing my sex drive. Those things are a real mood-killer. So sometimes I will when I'm not in the mood. Although like many of you ladies, once we start I enjoy myself, not always getting to the finish line but pretty close. __________________ Bitch, Rub me

11-27-2007, 07:30 PM	#14 (permalink)
Juley Upright Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Southeastern US	I'm a team player about 20% of the time. Sounds like a lot, but it doesn't really bother me.....As long as he comes through for me every time I'm NOT taking one for the team!

12-06-2007, 08:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
silvrdark Upright Join Date: Dec 2007	Complicated question. I suppose I do "take one for the team" occasionally. My problem is one of timing, though. Here's what I mean: By 10 PM, I'm ready for sex... to be followed by bed. The problem is, my boyfriend has become a bit of an insomniac lately. He is in the middle of something at this point, and no amount of sexy coaxing on my part can pull him away. Eventually, as the hours roll past, I get so tired and HAVE to go to sleep. Sometime between 2 and 4, my boyfriend rolls up in bed and is finally in the mood. Meanwhile, I'm just drifting into deep sleep. I might be able to roll over and accommodate him, but at this point I rarely have the energy for anything really great.

12-07-2007, 03:49 AM	#16 (permalink)
mixedmedia loves you Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Florida	Generally, I am always up for sex. Granted, I am not in a live-in relationship right now, but... ...and I don't want to be a bummer. But I used to 'take one for the team' when I was in a very unhappy marriage...only to get him to shut up...and it always made me feel like shit. Moral of this story, ladies...if you are unhappy with your relationship and you don't feel like having sex? Don't, don't, don't do it. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus

12-08-2007, 02:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
jen71au Upright Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia	I am with mixed media here. The only time I have "taken one for the team" was when I was in an unhappy relationship.

12-08-2007, 01:30 PM	#18 (permalink)
Nikki open to interpretation Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Charleston, SC	Sorry but there are times when I have absolutely no interest in sex and there is nothing that will get me there, but I still want to please my husband. So that is when we have sex for his sake. Our marriage is VERY happy and he is my best friend. __________________ "not all who wander are lost"

12-08-2007, 03:49 PM	#19 (permalink)
jen71au Upright Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Australia	I always had a great sex drive, I wasn't suggesting you were unhappy. I do have to say though, sometimes I wanted to make love, and other times I just wanted to fuck. Though I don't think that is what you were talking about in your first post. Sometimes it is hard for two people to have the same sex drive. Which is when I suppose, you would find the need to "take one for the team"

12-09-2007, 06:19 AM	#20 (permalink)
IdolGirl Tilted Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida	I was in a relationship for 9 years, and constantly took one for the team. He wanted it 24/7, and I simply did not. Well, he didn't really get the hints of "I'm not in the mood", so I tried telling him point blank that I didn't want to have sex. So he says "ok, I'll leave you alone." Then, right on the heels of saying that, he would start spooning, rubbing my chest, etc..all the typical actions that are FAR from leaving me alone. It got to the point where we would get in a big, wicked fight over his inconsideration and selfishness, me sleeping on the couch, or just have sex and get it over with so he would leave me alone about it. It got to the point where I resented him for it, and that really put me out of 'the mood'. Our relationship had a lot of issues, so there were other stressors involved, but our sex life went to the toilet. We broke up about a year ago, but I have sworn that I will NEVER 'take one for the team' again.

12-09-2007, 11:06 PM	#21 (permalink)
silvrdark Upright Join Date: Dec 2007	I completely understand you. Although my situation is sort of reversed (as in usually I am the one wanting sex), I totally empathize with the selfish assertion you were experiencing. My guy does that sort of thing in other ways, whether it has to do with where he wants to eat dinner, or how he thinks I should feel about some issue.

12-10-2007, 03:26 AM	#22 (permalink)
mixedmedia loves you Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Florida	Just for the record, I did not mean to suggest that anyone not 'take it for the team' at any time. Just not to be pressured into sex if you don't want it in an unhappy relationship. __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus

12-11-2007, 09:58 AM	#23 (permalink)
ItWasMe But You'll Never Prove It. Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: somewhere over the rainbow.	I am willing to 'take one for the team' once in a while, if I am not in the mood. However, if I don't manage to get into the mood, hubby can tell. And that makes him not into it. He says there is more to sex than just the physical part. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I bake cakes and cookies just so I can lick the bowl. Love is when you don't want to sleep because reality is better than a dream.