I'd rather slam my nuts in a car door! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Plan9 · 08-08-2007, 04:52 AM

Okay... is it really possible to accidentally slam your manjunk in a car door?

I can't stop laughing about this. Old army buddy and I were laughing about it. I mean... just imagine the situations that could even come close to involving this.

What do you all think?

MexicanOnABike · 08-08-2007, 05:22 AM

it's a friday night and you're out with the highschool cheerleader. It's midnight in your driveway and you are both making out intensely in the backseat of her car.
just when you're about to score, you see a shadow standing outside the car.

a hand reaches for the door so you're freaking out; it's her dad and he's holding a rifle in his left hand.
You freak out and don't even think to put your pants back on, crawl to the front of the car, and escape through the front seat. just as you're about to get out, you see his hand reaching for you. you know you're a dead man. so you close the door REALLY fast to make your escape. ....

Plan9 · 08-08-2007, 07:52 AM

Hahahah! Just imagine the look on the ER doctor when you explain the wound.

Sion · 08-09-2007, 04:12 PM

that car door was asking for it

Willravel · 08-09-2007, 04:16 PM

I can just picture a car door that says "no means no!"

telekinetic · 08-09-2007, 04:21 PM

What if you were trying to bump the door shut with your hip, because your hands were full, only you weren't wearing any pants, and you misjudged and hit it less with your hip and more with the front of your pelvis...

*shudders at thought of humping the twig and berries into a car door crack*

The best part of any of these scenarios is that you'd have to overcome the agony to come to your senses and find the handle.

MexicanOnABike · 08-09-2007, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

...The best part of any of these scenarios is that you'd have to overcome the agony to come to your senses and find the handle.

I would only hope the door didn't slam hard enough to close completely!!!
my friend got his fingers stuck in a car door but i don't remember it closing all the way. that would kinda hurt like a bitch for a few months!

Redlemon · 08-10-2007, 08:19 AM

Well, you could be shooting an advertisement...

Sticky · 08-10-2007, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MexicanOnABike

it's a friday night and you're out with the highschool cheerleader. It's midnight in your driveway and you are both making out intensely in the backseat of her car.
just when you're about to score, you see a shadow standing outside the car.

a hand reaches for the door so you're freaking out; it's her dad and he's holding a rifle in his left hand.
You freak out and don't even think to put your pants back on, crawl to the front of the car, and escape through the front seat. just as you're about to get out, you see his hand reaching for you. you know you're a dead man. so you close the door REALLY fast to make your escape. ....

Unfortunately it would more likely go down as such.

A guy is at home alone and bored and decides to see what it would be like to masturbate by putting his penis between the car and the card door in an almost closed position. Someone walks by and the guy gets scared and tries to run away accidentally shuts the door before puling out.

aphrodisiac · 08-11-2007, 03:37 AM

you get drunk

really drunk

you think "wouldnt it be cool to drive along and flash your knob at strangers from your car"

nah

you get even drunker
you go try it

you spot a really hot pair of girls and open the car door to get them a better look

they slam the door shut on you

aphrodisiac · 08-11-2007, 03:38 AM

double post

BBtB · 08-15-2007, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

What if you were trying to bump the door shut with your hip, because your hands were full, only you weren't wearing any pants, and you misjudged and hit it less with your hip and more with the front of your pelvis...

*shudders at thought of humping the twig and berries into a car door crack*

The best part of any of these scenarios is that you'd have to overcome the agony to come to your senses and find the handle.

Okay... but why are you not wearing any pants?

MikeyChalupa · 08-21-2007, 05:51 AM

Don't know about slamming the junk in the door... but I have been "Yahtzeed", that's when you sit down in the car too fast and sit on the twins... YAHTZEE!!!

-Mikey

Plan9 · 08-21-2007, 05:20 PM

(looks at society, curls eyebrow)

... we have to wear pants?

08-08-2007, 04:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Plan9 Gorilla Cum Laude Location: Prime Self Blog Entries: 114	I'd rather slam my nuts in a car door! Okay... is it really possible to accidentally slam your manjunk in a car door? I can't stop laughing about this. Old army buddy and I were laughing about it. I mean... just imagine the situations that could even come close to involving this. What do you all think? __________________ "The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people." Formerly username "Crompsin."

08-08-2007, 05:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	it's a friday night and you're out with the highschool cheerleader. It's midnight in your driveway and you are both making out intensely in the backseat of her car. just when you're about to score, you see a shadow standing outside the car. a hand reaches for the door so you're freaking out; it's her dad and he's holding a rifle in his left hand. You freak out and don't even think to put your pants back on, crawl to the front of the car, and escape through the front seat. just as you're about to get out, you see his hand reaching for you. you know you're a dead man. so you close the door REALLY fast to make your escape. .... __________________ █ █ Movie Reviews - Ratings longest thread ever!

08-08-2007, 07:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
Plan9 Gorilla Cum Laude Location: Prime Self Blog Entries: 114	Hahahah! Just imagine the look on the ER doctor when you explain the wound. __________________ "The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people." Formerly username "Crompsin."

08-09-2007, 04:12 PM	#4 (permalink)
Sion The All-Being, Master of Time, Space and Dimension Location: then, I wanna go to Europe	that car door was asking for it __________________ Never attribute to malicious intent that which can equally and adequately be explained by stupidity. -unknown If you cannot pass 6th grade science, you are not qualified to have opinions about scientific issues. You can HAVE opinions. You just aren't qualified to have them; so keep them to yourself. -greytone My loony bun is fine Benny Lava.

08-09-2007, 04:16 PM	#5 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter. Location: Behind the brick wall, inside the gray room, at the black desk. Blog Entries: 14	I can just picture a car door that says "no means no!" __________________ "So long as governments set the example of killing their enemies, private citizens will occasionally kill theirs." Elbert Hubbard

08-09-2007, 04:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
telekinetic Now with 100% less Elitist Title! Location: Wunderland Blog Entries: 1	What if you were trying to bump the door shut with your hip, because your hands were full, only you weren't wearing any pants, and you misjudged and hit it less with your hip and more with the front of your pelvis... shudders at thought of humping the twig and berries into a car door crack The best part of any of these scenarios is that you'd have to overcome the agony to come to your senses and find the handle. __________________ twisted no more

08-10-2007, 08:19 AM	#8 (permalink)
Redlemon kills jokes dead Donor Location: New England Blog Entries: 8	Well, you could be shooting an advertisement... __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

08-11-2007, 03:37 AM	#10 (permalink)
aphrodisiac Upright Location: UK	you get drunk really drunk you think "wouldnt it be cool to drive along and flash your knob at strangers from your car" nah you get even drunker you go try it you spot a really hot pair of girls and open the car door to get them a better look they slam the door shut on you

08-11-2007, 03:38 AM	#11 (permalink)
aphrodisiac Upright Location: UK	double post

08-21-2007, 05:51 AM	#13 (permalink)
MikeyChalupa Squid Location: USS George Washington	Don't know about slamming the junk in the door... but I have been "Yahtzeed", that's when you sit down in the car too fast and sit on the twins... YAHTZEE!!! -Mikey __________________ GO ISLANDERS! And take the Mets and Knicks with you! "i do not understand any of this topic to me, yet my skin is crawling on my flesh for creepy!" -- air45

08-21-2007, 05:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
Plan9 Gorilla Cum Laude Location: Prime Self Blog Entries: 114	(looks at society, curls eyebrow) ... we have to wear pants? __________________ "The days go on and on... they don't end. All my life needed was a sense of someplace to go. I don't believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people." Formerly username "Crompsin."