UKking

This is something I struggle with. My dad is a music teacher and professional French Horn player. His job is his life.
I work in office as a project manager in the medical industry although my interests lie in more creative endeavors.
I get frustrated because I think my dad's example has instilled in me a need for my personal and professional lives to meet up.
Yet I have friends and family who seem to exist "just fine" without having a job that so closely matches their personal interests.

What are your thoughts?
Should your job define you?
Would you like it to define you?

World's King

If what you're doing for a living doesn't make you happy then you shouldn't be doing it.


As a chef, I am doing what I love. It makes me happy. But that doesn't mean it defines me. My personality in and out of my kitchen defines me. My family and friends define me. My daily choices define me. I'm a chef. But only when I'm cooking. Every other part of my day... something else...

__________________
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.

curiousbear

My job certainly doesnt define me!

Firstly there are professions that define people. Like teachers, doctors, soldiers, politicians, journalists, etc. I think that is possible because no matter where they are and what they do, thier business is always in the back of thier mind. Also certain jobs easily reflects on how you look at others and how others look at you. At least the place I come from, certain profession is associated with certain qualities and dignities.

Secondly some people are obsessed with their job even if thier job doesnt actually demand it.

Cernunnos

None of my jobs have ever defined me. I see those jobs in my past as nothing more than a means to an end, money. I was unsatisfied and resigned to focus on my college studies. Right now, I am dabbling in online marketing endeavors, and while it is more enjoyable to work on my own terms, it does not define me in the least.

I don't believe any job, whether it is a dream or a nightmare, should function as one's sole identity. Every human being is infinitely more complex than the aspects of any particular job, and for that job to define them, they would need to drop all other activities and hobbies that they enjoy. Who would be willing to do that? Very few, I'm sure. Interests alone do not add up to the whole of a person, regardless of whether or not they are paid for those interests.

Baraka_Guru

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis."
–Fight Club

__________________
"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. [...] In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics.' All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer."

—"Politics and the English Language," George Orwell

"Humankind cannot bear very much reality."

—"Burnt Norton," Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot

Cynthetiq

no. it used to, and while many people say that it's not, pay attention to your small talk as a test.

When you go to meet people you don't know, do you talk "So what do you do for a living?" If you do, IMO it defines you in some manner as you're bringing the idea of some sort of identity to the forefront.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Independent, either you're an asshole or you're not.

ASU2003

It shouldn't, but other people (read: girls) think that anyone doing my job has to be a huge computer nerd. It isn't easy to overcome that.

onesnowyowl

Is that such a bad thing? Huge computer nerds are hot!

No, my job doesn't define me, but it certainly is a large part of who I am. I'm not a nanny 100% of the time, but I do find spending extra time on bettering myself professionally enjoyable.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Baraka_Guru

What about book geeks?

* * * * *

There are times I find that my job does define who I am. I love language, reading, books, etc. These things interest me and I use them and pursue them. Yet I often find myself disengaged from the culture.

I often find myself (with my wide interests) doing things that are quite unbookish. I like computer games, for example. I'm learning to play the guitar. I like food and drink. I like the theatre and film. Music and the visual arts.

The only thing that can be said about all of this is that people read and write books about all of these things! I'm not always an editor. I know how to turn it off. (Sometimes.)

You should not be defined by your job unless it is a key aspect of who they are. You should be defined by what interests you the most, and by those things you do with pleasure. Your job is just one part of who you are, and who's to say you'll be doing the same job for the rest of your life?

__________________
"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. [...] In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics.' All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer."

—"Politics and the English Language," George Orwell

"Humankind cannot bear very much reality."

—"Burnt Norton," Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot

roachboy

no.
i find that i've had to struggle to maintain my affection for and interest in much of what i do in the face of being an academic and now an editor-boy. i'm probably one of those contrary types. it's possible, you know.

__________________
a gramophone its corrugated trumpet silver handle
spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

-kamau brathwaite

abaya

No. Never. Not even close.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Fotzlid

My job did not define me initially as I was only going to do it till I figured out what I really wanted to do.
14 years later, it has become a career and has since come to define me. I have come to think, act and only associate with others in the same field. I am not a stereotype, but I am what I do.

Katyanna

I don't believe that it defines me in the least. I do think that what job you have can reveal things about your personality in some cases. I don't think that it has ever defined who I am as a person. I would like to think that who you are as a person is more apt to define what you would pursue in life than your jobs itself. For instance, do you like computers, do you enjoy working with other people, do you enjoy children? Granted, there are times and circumstances that would cause us to sacrifice what we prefer in order to balance other needs.

Charlatan

I wouldn't say that it defines me but it is definitely part of who I am.

__________________
“I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.” - Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

fresnelly

It used to when I was working solely in Theatre as a lighting designer and stagehand. I was proud of being in a unique industry with artistic aspirations.

Now I work for a software company that creates tools for the industry rather than being directly in it, so not so much. Being a family man is the most of who I am now.

I'm just as proud.

__________________
"I am Ronald of Mordor, the Mage, the Destroyer.

Taste the scorched fruit inside my pies.

Chew the bitter towelette of truth."

J Pod by Douglas Coupland

Redjake

Nope. I would feel insulted if someone told me my job defined me. ugh.

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Off the record, on the q.t., and very hush-hush.

nomcat

I'm a consultant winemaker, and passionate about it... it's the next most important thing to me after my fiancee, family, and friends... does that mean it defines me?

Catdaddy33

Hell no...I'm a Commercial Loan Analyst and I do it for the money, I like my job but don't "love" it I love the opportunities it gives me outside of work in the form of income. I have long hair for a guy (just above shoulder length) and when I tell people what I do I usually get a "Really?".

ItWasMe

I define me. Nobody else. Nothing else. Just me.

__________________
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I bake cakes and cookies just so I can lick the bowl.

Love is when you don't want to sleep because reality is better than a dream.

GeneralMao

My job and education define me, and I mean that in the sense that it reflects my personal nature. I am 18, in my second year of University, and a firefighter. My personal goal in life, since I was a child, was always helping others and making them smile, no matter what sacrifice to me. If I had to give my favorite candy bar away to make a random stranger happy, I did it. This reflects in my major, Public Health, and my choice of careers. I am cynical to certain extents, but this only fuels my desire to help others and promote change on this Earth [I love animals, so in the little spare time I have, I help the voiceless creatures of Earth too].

I think people should do what they feel would allow them to express themselves fully while being productive to a society as a whole. If creativity is your thing, why not try advertising?

__________________
A man who fights for nothing, loses everything.

curiousbear

GeneralMao,
But in my opinion you pick a job that gives you better pay, life, standards and stability to you family. So that cant or dont have to define you.
You sound like an exception because firefighters are saviors and hence are heros.

GeneralMao

From my short life experience, do something you love and the money will come.

__________________
A man who fights for nothing, loses everything.

RWE

My job doesn't define me in the sense that if someone looked at only my job, he could see me. On the other hand, I'm trying to change careers because I want to find something I'm passionate about, something that I believe is worthy of a large portion of my life. I'm seeking a life which will strongly define me, but it still won't completely define me. For the rest, you'd have to look at my interests and my friends, and then sit down and have some beers with me.

It's up to each individual to place his or her priorities. I've decided that it's important that I do something with my job that I'm proud of. Others see their jobs differently, and that's okay. It's their life, after all. At some point, I had to stop living up to other people's expectations and spend time figuring out what I wanted.

__________________
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

skizziks

Cool topic.

I'm retired Army, and I saw so many officers whose whole life revolved around them being an officer. I would ask them "what's going to happen when you get out? No one will care what you did or that you were a Colonel or any of that. " They didn't get it.

When I was in the military, and even now, people would thank me for my service. I would tell them its just a job, and to me, it was just a job. I got free travel, I got to have fun, I learned a lot, but there was no higher motive or any of that. I was strictly mercenary about it, it gave me money to pursue my hobbies and what I really enjoyed. People wouldn't believe I was active duty, I didn't act all "Army." I just acted like myself.

I currently work in retail. It in no way defines me. But I don't see how any retail job can define someone.

Your job shouldn't define you. It isn't bad if it does, you are lucky if you fit your job so perfectly, but I think you can be an excellent hard core facts only kind of scientist at work and be a creative free flowing I believe in ghosts non scientist (as an example) when you are off duty.

Like Tyler Durden said, "you are not your job, you are not how much money you have in the bank"

curiousbear

Could be. I love animals, nature, villages and farm. I wished to be a vet. But I was so much after money. I chose computers. Now I have a nice job, some good money.

But I am not that happy. I still dream having a farm. And even planning to RUN a vet clinic.

Sounds like ultimately I made it a roundabout way to destiny... I must have just did what I love But I dont think I will be able to think this way or be a Tfp member etc. In my place a Vet hardly know how to use internet

cadre

I define my job.

Some people have no identity beyond their jobs, and there's nothing really wrong with that except if you have a boring job it makes you boring. Is photo part of my identity? Well yeah, so I'm partially defined by my job just because I do something that I really enjoy. The way I look at it, I'm the one who's defining my job based of my personal identity, I'm making it work for me.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Martian

My day job is crappy and does nothing more than pay my bills (even that not really well).

I want to be a professional musician. I think that it's easy to allow an artform to consume you, especially if it's something you're really passionate about. I love music. I'm good at it. I know a lot about it, and it is a huge part of my life. It's not all that I am, but insofar as anything defines me, music is it.

__________________
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

- Journey, Don't Stop Believein'