seamaiden

Would anyone care to share their thoughts on relationships between an older woman and a younger man? There seems to be a lot less aversion to this kind of coupling than in the past and I have a few friends who have made it work...and some who haven't.

I guess my main concern is; Can love endure the aging process and the temptation of youth?

Skitto

I don't think there is a real issue here, just like the rest of the synthesized problems of this age there's no problem that good love can't fix.

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StanT

I married an older woman 28 years ago. I'm pretty sure she's a keeper.

GreyWolf

Among adults, age should be immaterial. An adult is free to make his/her own decisions, and should be ready to live with the consequences. Anyone mature enough to be in an adult relationship should be free to choose their partners based on their own (and the partner's) wants and desires.

That being said, age doesn't just bring maturity... it also brings experience. And experience changes one, whether you want it to or not. I find it hard to relate to someone 30 years younger than myself in terms of interests and social desires. She would still be an adult, but I can't imagine finding a 25 yo who has the same interests and desires as myself. Their music is not my music. Their social activities are not my activities. Their friends are not my friends. They may well be my intellectual equals (or superiors), but they are simply at a different point in their lives. They are not my equals in life experience (for better or worse).

I think a woman my age would have the same difficulty. Certainly, the sexual attraction of youth is there. I love looking at gorgeous, sexy young women. I love to fantasize about them. But in reality, that's it. As Rod Stewart says "The attraction was purely physical."

In the rare event that an older person finds a younger person with the same goals, wants, and desires, I think they can have a very good relationship. Can it endure? I have my doubts. The older person has arrived at a point through a lifetime of experience. The younger is there, but without the benefit of that experience. As they experience new things together, the likelihood that they will continue to grow in the same direction is, in my opinion, unlikely.

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seamaiden

That's awesome...but remember never to take love for granted. I walked out after 30 years in a relationship (28 of them married) but then, he was a jerk!

GreyWolf...I believe you're right that an age difference of a generation wouldn't survive over time. I had a short relationship with a much younger man, that was wrong from the start (in more ways than one). Now I'm with a man eight years my junior, that I want to be with forever. I just hope he still thinks I'm the one when I'm 70 and he's not even a senior citizen yet.

mixedmedia

I think a woman starts thinking those thoughts at a certain age regardless of the age of her lover...know what I mean?

It's hard on women, getting older. The perception is that we are getting older, while men are just, I don't know, aging. Not sure why that is...

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Charlatan

My Mom is married to a man that is 17 years younger. They've been married for over 20 years now and together for over 25.

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Martian

Seems to work.

The only concern I'd have about a relationship with a large age gap is that the people involved may be at different stages in their lives and incompatible because of that. This is a pitfall regardless of whether the man or woman is older.

If the folks in the relationship are happy, I don't really see how anyone else's opinion matters.

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GreyWolf

Beyond 30, I don't really consider 8 years to be an older/younger relationship. I was talking in terms of really big differences (10+ years). I've been involved with an older woman for over 25 years. And I'm mean enough to mention it whenever I can. She hasn't kicked me out or severely injured me yet for that (tried to poison me once, but she still claims that was an accident ).

On the other hand, she'll be retiring a few years before I do

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She was not quite what you would call unrefined.

She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. - Mark Twain

Lucifer

You can count on that, baby. You'll always be the one for me.

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CinnamonGirl

Awww...that made me smile.


And for what it's worth, my dad is 13 years older than my stepmom, and they've been married for 19 years.

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Daniel_

Not a problem for me. I've always liked older women, and the only failure I had was the younger woman I married first.

Second ones older, and so far, so good.

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seamaiden

I know eight years isn't really a colossal difference, more of an irritant to my future mother in law (although I think she's over it). It just seems that on the days when I feel old, for whatever reason, he looks deliciously young...and I think "why the hell does he want me...?" But he does...I'm one lucky girl!!!

So many positive replies...encouraging...especially Lucifer's.

On the other hand, I started over at 50. I may never get to retire.

Lucifer

I can tell you one thing that's going to change, when you are a senior citizen and I'm not, you'll be buying the movie tickets!

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seamaiden

I'll be able to get in cheaper, but you still won't pass as a senior. Might feel good to get asked for ID though.

remy1492

IBTX. Like others said, age doesnt matter the older you get. But when you are 20 and she is 30..............oh boy, listen for the train wreck.

When you are 40 and she is 49, ahhh sure.

MexicanOnABike

Come on, I thought everyone knew the creep age. Works both ways.

take your age -7 then multiply by 2. so if you're 30, 23 X 2 = 46. that means dating a older woman of 46 is ok.

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Salem

I think it can. I don't see why not. Sure there are some people who don't approve of it and what not, but I think it can.

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little_tippler

I think it can totally work. I think what Martian said about the age gap sometimes being the source of different life stages is true. But that also happens when people are the same age. That is all timing.

And seamaiden, 8 years? That is nothing. You should only remember it when you want to feel turned on by the thought that he is younger. That is the only use of that!

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Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

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Spartanx9

Speaking from experience, yes, it can work. If the couple are willing to work on the age gap it can most definitely work

Bill O'Rights

Let's see... I'm 47. So, 47-7=40x2=...

I'm going back to bed.

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It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

MSD

Sorry, my view of relationships doesn't include math.

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ZombieSquirrel

I'm actually looking forward to being a cougar.... I can't imagine having a lot to talk about with a young buck. Hopefully there won't be time for chit chatting.

I am starting to feel like a cougar now, because the local bars are college haunts. I love college boys. I keep getting older and they stay the same age.

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Katyanna

Been there, done that.. would probably never do it again to be honest.

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Push-Pull

It's worked for my and my wife. 17 years younger I am, and married for 15. Biggest factor to the longevity is how "old" we act, as in, we don't.

Of course, dealing with her menopause was a bitch.....

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seamaiden

That's the key to a long happy life, as well as marriage...act and feel young at heart.

Oh, and menopause was probably more of a bitch for her to deal with, than for you...good thing you both got through it. Other than me becoming a furnace from time to time, it hasn't been a problem for us.

Shaindra

I've dated 15 years younger. I didn't see a lot of difference in that relationship than I did with the guy who was 10 years older. Yeah, sometimes I'd make a reference to something I considered "current" and he'd mention being in grammar school when it happened, but other than that, it was all good.

Bonus: I got carded a lot more often.

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Shauk

asking for social approval means you're looking for the wrong thing in your relationship.

Willravel

I prefer them, have ever since I was in high school. I don't discriminate against women my ager or younger or anything, but there's an allure to a woman that's a bit more mature that's undeniable. Also, in my experience, women that are older than I am tend to be nearly insatiable. I like that quality.

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seamaiden

I agree with that statement, but I'm not looking for social approval. I need love, honesty, loyalty and respect in a relationship. My concern (and question) is whether a younger man can remain interested in an older woman as her physical attractiveness fades, while he's still appealing to younger women. I know there's more to a relationship than physical appearance, but I believe it's a huge part of what men need...am I wrong?

Cynthetiq

coo coo ca choo Mrs. Robinson.

the title of this thread is hot.

I don't think age makes a difference unless it's something like Anna Nicole Smith but with like Bea Arthur and 1991 Brad Pitt, where Brad was after Bea's $$$.

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