What if God Smoked Cannabus? - Tilted Forum Project - TFP - Sexuality, Philosophy and Political Discussion

Bees · 07-07-2008, 05:29 PM

I am sure many of us have heard "One Of Us", the one song by Joan Osborne that got a lot of airplay on pop radio stations.

I'll bet not too many of us have this version of her song:

If God had long hair and a goatee
and if his eyes were pretty glazed
If he looked spaced out would you buy his story,
would you believe he had an eye infection?

Yeah, yeah, God looks baked
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God smoked cannabus?
Hit the bong like some of us?
Drove a tie dyed microbus
And he subscribes to Rolling Stone

When God made this place in the beginning
Did he plant any seeds?
Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve
So thet’d be hungry
for the apple that the snake was always offering

Yeah, yeah, God rolls great
Yeah, yeah, God smells good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

What if God smoked cannabus?
Do you suppose he had a bust?
When he made the platypus
When he created Earth our home
Does he like Pearl Jam or the Stones?
Do you think he rolls his own?
Up there in heaven on the throne
And when the saints go marching home
Maybe he sits and smokes alone

Charlatan · 07-07-2008, 06:40 PM

You mean god didn't smoke cannabis? I was sure that was what explained how messed up the world is...

RetroGunslinger · 07-07-2008, 08:00 PM

Oh wow, this takes me back. I heard this back in like 2002 or 2003, and absolutely loved it. I find myself muttering it under my breath, but all I can ever remember is that one line.

Redlemon · 07-08-2008, 07:38 AM

While the Seeqpod player identifies this as Joan Osborne, the parody was in fact written by Bob Rivers.

genuinegirly · 07-08-2008, 03:23 PM

Good find, Bees!

Fly · 07-09-2008, 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon

While the Seeqpod player identifies this as Joan Osborne, the parody was in fact written by Bob Rivers.

ding-ding..........i've been listening to Bob for years....he made some sweet twisted tunes.

jewels · 07-09-2008, 06:04 AM

ipollux · 07-14-2008, 09:36 PM

jorgelito · 07-14-2008, 11:16 PM

I always thought it would be cool if God smoked weed. Other than that, it doesn't really matter to me where He does or doesn't, He's still God.

ipollux · 07-15-2008, 04:47 PM

What if god smoked pole?

07-07-2008, 05:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bees Crazy Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: New Hampshire, US	What if God Smoked Cannabus? I am sure many of us have heard "One Of Us", the one song by Joan Osborne that got a lot of airplay on pop radio stations. I'll bet not too many of us have this version of her song: If God had long hair and a goatee and if his eyes were pretty glazed If he looked spaced out would you buy his story, would you believe he had an eye infection? Yeah, yeah, God looks baked Yeah, yeah, God smells good Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What if God smoked cannabus? Hit the bong like some of us? Drove a tie dyed microbus And he subscribes to Rolling Stone When God made this place in the beginning Did he plant any seeds? Or did he put them there for Adam and Eve So thet’d be hungry for the apple that the snake was always offering Yeah, yeah, God rolls great Yeah, yeah, God smells good Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What if God smoked cannabus? Do you suppose he had a bust? When he made the platypus When he created Earth our home Does he like Pearl Jam or the Stones? Do you think he rolls his own? Up there in heaven on the throne And when the saints go marching home Maybe he sits and smokes alone __________________ *The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.* Kajal Basu Last edited by Bees; 07-07-2008 at 05:32 PM.

07-07-2008, 06:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
Charlatan Drinking Your Milkshake Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Lion City	You mean god didn't smoke cannabis? I was sure that was what explained how messed up the world is... __________________ “I like paying taxes. With them I buy civilization.” - Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes

07-07-2008, 08:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
RetroGunslinger eats puppies and shits rainbows Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: An Area of Space Occupied by a Population, SC, USA	Oh wow, this takes me back. I heard this back in like 2002 or 2003, and absolutely loved it. I find myself muttering it under my breath, but all I can ever remember is that one line. __________________ To summarize: It's a rare pleasure in this world to get your mind fucked. Usually it's just foreplay. The best porn is gun porn. It's only rape if the bitch lives. Suffer For Your Art

07-08-2008, 07:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
Redlemon obsessive librarian Donor Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New England	While the Seeqpod player identifies this as Joan Osborne, the parody was in fact written by Bob Rivers. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

07-08-2008, 03:23 PM	#5 (permalink)
genuinegirly Force-Strong Moderator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: 805	Good find, Bees! __________________ "violence is no more or less real than non-violence. " roachboy

07-09-2008, 06:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: The Space Coast	.. __________________ Politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

07-14-2008, 09:36 PM	#8 (permalink)
ipollux Crazy Join Date: Jul 2008

07-14-2008, 11:16 PM	#9 (permalink)
jorgelito All important elusive independent swing voter... Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: People's Republic of KKKalifornia	I always thought it would be cool if God smoked weed. Other than that, it doesn't really matter to me where He does or doesn't, He's still God.

07-15-2008, 04:47 PM	#10 (permalink)
ipollux Crazy Join Date: Jul 2008	What if god smoked pole?