sitardude2000

Inspired by "The Extemporaneous Story" its time to start another ongoing story. Same idea...An opening sentence or paragraph to begin the story and anyone and everyone can post to it to build a story. You can be serious or not, but stupid seems to be more fun.

ring

Stepping over the detritus,
She fumbled for the lightswitch.

__________________
You're never going to catch me,
because I'm not running away. - ring

sitardude2000

And the light revealed a truth...that housekeeping was not a forte' of hers. But she had other strengths...

Fly

she could suck a golfball through a garden house..........


talent indeed.

__________________
BASTARD
Bluefly
More dogs than bones
Me,myself and Fly

sitardude2000

She had the gift of gratitude. Grateful for her literate existence. That she could spell and use nouns and verbs correctly. That her drug and alcohol life was behind her. Grateful that she wasn't Canadian.

jlanez

As she twisted the light switch, stumbling over the poor, dispossessed souls that lay strewn at her feet, she felt the weight of her hypocrisy. Although she was living a life of altruism and self-sacrifice, she was all too aware of her critical nature and the way that she denigrated people with her thoughts. Sometimes she felt like she was about to explode, as she obsessively mended the down-trodden. For, in her heart and mind she hated them and found herself irritated and repulsed by their petty weaknesses.

sitardude2000

But she could fly. And nobody could take that away from her. Just levitate and speed off, still standing, like a wind surfer. Like her thoughts. Like her desires. Like her baby turtles.

Tophat665

Like her desire for baby turtles. Girls like that are mad for turtle meat.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

sitardude2000

The wind was her.

jlanez

And because of her years of contact with baby turtles, Sally was the most virile vector of salmonella that the world had ever known. Paradoxically, she could only find meaning in her life when she was tenderly helping the people she despised. However, in doing so she invariably innoculated them with the bacteria that she had grown immune to, so long ago.

sitardude2000

Her tender loving nature was to the point of obsession. She belonged to a group more sensitive than PETA...And she daily had to endure the taunts of "Bacteria Hugger!" from friends and family...

ring

All it took was one swell foop..a sideways motion of the hand and neck..
to send the stereo-types on their way.....
....to shrug the last of the contagions..
off her shoulders..

" no longer shall I have to be holden to others and their constrictures..
I am the salt that floats and the salt that stings."

"can someone tell me what I mean by that?..I feel a tad..
waterlogged..at the moment...hmmmm..maybe if I tip my head to the
side...oh..my that tickles...my ear...."

__________________
You're never going to catch me,
because I'm not running away. - ring

sitardude2000

The twin tailed siren walked with earth legs to the ocean, the wind gently caressing her long wavy locks. As she slowly viewed the earth surroundings she had no regret leaving. This world was foreign and inexplicable. That they would take her image and make it a symbol for overpriced caffeine products was only one of many contempts she bore. She walked into the abyss...

ring

The water beckoned; the joy of effortless buoyancy, as she slipped
beneath the surface, brought forth the gift of tears she could not produce
on dry land.
A present returned, a present given.
She pondered,
" It has been many cycles of suns,will I find the place, I have only the faintest memory of ?"

"For now I shall simply swim," she declared,
"The guides will appear, I shall fear not."

With a graceful, forceful thrust, she dove deeper.

__________________
You're never going to catch me,
because I'm not running away. - ring

sitardude2000

Transformation. Breathing water again. Long strides brought her quickly to twenty knots. Two sentinels caught up and escorted her on either side. The manatees looked at her and each other as if to smile. She was laughing and cheering for joy. This was the real world. Mercy and justice were married. Their children were the mysteries of the deep...

jlanez

She closed her eyes and plunged forward. Open, receptive gills took in the torrents that washed away the tears and the pain that she had felt on earth. She was free.

Along the edges of her euphoria, however, a change had taken place. For a moment, she ignored the warning and held herself in the sweetness of the moment. When she opened her eyes, she discovered that the sea had darkened and had grown much colder. She glanced at her sentinels and she was horrified with what she saw. The manatees were gone and in their place were two steely-eyed barracudas.

sitardude2000

She shot to forty knots and entered the portal of a sunken ship with the accuracy of a laser beam. The barracudas crashed nose first on either side of the window.

jlanez

She quickly barred the portal and as she peered out into the sea, there were no signs of the barracudas. She was relieved, but too suspicious to venture out again. To gather her thoughts, she decided to rummage through the wreckage to try and discover where she was.

ring

She quickly located the galley.
Rummaging for something tasty to snack on, she spied her favorite delicacy;
Pomegranate Fig Newtons, aged to perfection, and pleasantly soggy.

Her hunger satisfied, she had energy to further explore the ship.

__________________
You're never going to catch me,
because I'm not running away. - ring

sitardude2000

Denizens of the deep had expressed themselves with graffiti on the walls. "Geraldo Sucks!" and "I Got Your Treasure Right Here Baby!" were a couple of the unoriginal entries...

jlanez

...there was "Don't go in the head, something died in there!" and "Kilroy was here." But she had no idea what that meant. As she perused the walls, she heard a whimper from another part of the ship. She peered through the cracks of a small cabin. Inside, huddled in one corner were several shivering youths who looked like poor urchins straight out of a Dickens novel. Sea urchins, of course. They were poor and wretched and hungry. They had sooty faces and tattered clothes and even their names were quite Dickensian. Names like .....

sitardude2000

Timmy...and Marquis St. Evremonde, which was an unusually cruel name to give a kid. His parents were alcoholics. There was a sooty faced girl amongst the lot. She was one of many sea whores. She couldn't remember her own name but said that it rhymed with a part of the male anatomy. Starbuck the siren could only guess..."Venus"?..."Pock"?..."Flick"?..."Grotum"?..."Zeener"?...

jlanez

After much guessing, the girl finally remembered.

"Tool!" she exclaimed.

The siren was puzzled. "You're name is tool?" she asked.

"No, mum," she replied "Me name. It rhymes with a word that is suggestive of a word that is suggestive of a part of the male anatomy, not directly as I thought."

"So what is your name," asked the siren.

"Cratchet, Bob Cratchet," replied the girl.

sitardude2000

Starbuck doled out Pomegranate Fig Newtons to the motley crew. The children slammed the cookies into their faces. She beckoned them to the galley to look for more food. A man was in the galley and fear swept over the siren and the children...

jlanez

Motionless, they stood transfixed by the sight of him. Although they had never seen him, they knew in an instant that it was him, the one responsible for their plight; the one who had turned the children into drifting vagabonds; the one who had forced Starbucks into exile while he transformed their sacred city into an unimaginable abomination.

sitardude2000

Aqualung! So...he wasn't a myth after all. Just keeping bad company as usual. Underwater Donald Trump and AquaRush Limbaugh stepped out of the shadows as well as Buoy George and his new band, "Sea Men".

jlanez

With "snot running down his nose," and "greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes," Aqualung leered at the children, "with bad intent."

Starbucks gathered the children together and cried out, "What are you doing here?"

sitardude2000

"Spitting out pieces of my broken luck", said Ack, with deep sea diving sounds. "And learning the "Hokey Pokey."

jlanez

Aqualung put his left foot in and took his left foot out. He was about to put his left foot in again and shake it all about when he was interrupted by AquaRush Limbaugh, who insisted that he lead from the right, in all matters. A bitter, pointless argument about left and right ensued as Buoy and the Sea Men played "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" With Aqua's Lung and Rush distracted, The Donald acted quickly and whisked Starbucks and the urchins out of the ship and into a submersible Limo that was waiting outside. They sped away into the deep.

sitardude2000

The