paparora

I have two very wealthy doctors in my family. One is a Physician, whereas the other is an Orthodontist. Both make close to a million in gross income. Naturally speaking, they have amazing houses, drive beamers, are able to put a significant amount into their 401k, designer clothes..u get the idea. Needless to say, they are successful, happy people.

How do you measure success?

archpaladin

If I get through the day having successfully applied the life lessons that I learned the day before, that is success to me.

__________________
This space not for rent.

Halx

1) Doing what you want
2) Enjoying it

Notice how money and possessions have little to do with it.

__________________
- Hal(x)
"But suppose everybody on our side felt that way."
"Then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way. Wouldn't I?"
[Read Me]

onesnowyowl

Bingo. I believe we've had other threads on what it means to be successful, and this is pretty much what it comes down to for me--doing what I love.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

The_Jazz

I know multimillionaires that are some of the most miserable fucks you'll ever meet. They hate their lives. I know one guy, though, that is also much wealthier than I (and I do pretty well) that is the happiest person I know because he realizes what's important. That's why he's home for dinner with his kids every night that he's not traveling and calls during dinner when he is.

Money only equates to sucess when you limit the terms to business only. If you expand the definition at all, you'll figure out very quickly how unimportant money is in a successful life.

__________________
The proud dad of Max since 2/15/06 and Andrew since 1/9/08!

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

filtherton

A nice pair of boots.

World's King

I have two degrees. I live on my own. I pay my own bills. I'm 27. I'm healthy. I do what I love for a living. I have a close knit family that supports me.



I'm an Obsessive Compulsive Alcoholic. I've spent time in jail. My life is controlled by my probation officer. I've suffer from extreme depression. I'm on the verge of tears most every day.



What do you think? Am I successful? I think I am. Because despite all the bad stuff. I still have the good.

__________________
Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.

forseti-6

I have to agree. I always think back to the part in the movie 'The Bucket List' in which Morgan Freeman tells Jack Nicholson about how the Egyptians measured someone's life before allowing/disallowing them into heaven. They would ask two question: Have you had happiness in your life? Have your brought happiness to other's lives?

To look at it from another angle. Think about Maslow's hierarchy of needs. What's the highest rung? Self actualization. It has nothing to do with material wealth.

__________________
"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss

jaker

Success is mindfulness every moment
Success is a word for past events, events which probably dont have the relationship to one another that we imagine to have created that imagine event- misquotations from reality - an idea that hinders, because of its attempt to gauge and analyze, present reality

Baraka_Guru

Success is being able to help others while not being a burden to to anyone.

(I'm thinking there are many definitions of this.)

__________________
"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. [...] In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics.' All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer."

—"Politics and the English Language," George Orwell

"Humankind cannot bear very much reality."

—"Burnt Norton," Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot

ratbastid

I don't think that's "needless to say" in the slightest. I'd bet my car and my house (modest though they are in comparison) that a little probing would uncover the same pit of emptiness at the core of their being that the rest of us have.

Here's the thing about people with all the exterior signs of "success"--there's NO freedom for them in that. They're always compensating for something, and the more they compensate, the bigger that thing they're compensating for gets. They HAVE to succeed. They're DRIVEN to succeed, and COMPLETELY out of control about it, and they're TERRIFIED about what would happen if they didn't succeed.

This isn't to say that everyone else on the planet isn't driven and terrified too, because we all are. It's just, on really "successful" people, it's easy to forget about that because the surface looks so good. But it's all a big show to distract from how desperately their duck feet are paddling beneath the surface.

I measure my success by the difference I make for others. And I create specific games for myself to play that are designed to make a difference and have specific, measurable outcomes.

paparora

Props to World's King, its good to hear that you are getting on the right track. Effort is half the battle, the other is lady luck.

I hate the amount of studying that is required out of the medical profession, but God damn it has success written all over it. Ill be 31 before I start making real money. Those who are happy with their careers, how did you guys decide on them? In my opinion, a career is a major part of your life, and in order to be happy in life you have to be happy with your career. Am I wrong in thinking this way?
-----Added 22/8/2008 at 04 : 02 : 52-----
LOLLL!!! Am I the only one who finds this funny?

Some deep points you brought up in this post. Have an analysis on your conclusion?

It's just, on really "successful" people, it's easy to forget about that because the surface looks so good. But it's all a big show to distract from how desperately their duck feet are paddling beneath the surface.

Xazy

I consider it being content. To me that means having REAL friends, family being able to pay bills, and of course my wife and daughter.

I consider myself successful.

Poppinjay

Your post tastes like crying. I think I'll go jump off a cliff somewheres.

I am also OCD. Success for me is letting go of a situation. Not being annoyed if all the people on the plane have put their seatbacks and tray tables up when told to do so. That's a biggie with me. I wish I could channel that compulsion into excercise or writing.

__________________
I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

levite

Happiness is the measure of success. That, and perhaps mindful gratitude. If one is truly happy, with oneself and one's life; if one is frequently if not constantly aware of savoring the joys and bitternesses of this world...then one is successful.

__________________
"How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich."

Woody Allen

Katyanna

Financial success would not be True Success to me. I know a lot of people who are very financially successful but they are also frustrated at all the time and energy they put into gaining and keeping that success. I believe money could never make me truly happy. It may make me more comfortable, it certainly would buy some pleasurable things that I could not otherwise afford. Would it make me happy? Call me a romantic but ideally for me it would be a warm home, a well-bonded relationship with someone that I love with all my heart, health, feeling trust and security in my relationships. No amount of money can really buy that.

fnaqzna

Gotta watch out with possessions. If you're not careful, they'll end up owning you.

__________________
.:
sandman (fnaqzna x ROT13)

paparora

Without money, you cant take vacations. Cant buy the luxury items. They bring happiness.

I mean a life without money with your daughter/son, wife...would be pretty dull. Its living like Amish people except you don't have the tasks that they did to keep themselves occupied.

The_Jazz

Wow. That's an incredibly offensive statement.

What you're saying is that life is only worth living if you have money, and that's just not true at all.

Let me peel back the curtain just a bit for you since your youth and inexperience is showing: I probably make as much or more money than your family members. I also work incredibly hard to get it. I travel 3 or 4 times a week and habitually work 55 hours+ each and every week unless I'm REALLY busy when it goes to 75+.

As you can see in my signature, I have 2 young kids. I don't for a second think that I'm successful in anything but a strictly financial sense. I am successful because I have those boys and my wife. Frankly, as much as I love my job, I'd quit in a second if I didn't know I'd be seriously unhappy without a job like that. My family defines me more than any monetary thing ever will. I can also state as fact that there are several board members who make SUBSTANTIALLY less than I do that are as happy or happier than I am with my life.

Things do not bring happiness. Someday you'll grow up enough to realize that. If you really think that joy in life comes from material possessions, your parents did a poor job teaching you priorities.

__________________
The proud dad of Max since 2/15/06 and Andrew since 1/9/08!

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

Baraka_Guru

I agree.

If someone who could see the future told me that I would never be able to go away on vacation or ever afford luxury items for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be concerned about my happiness or the happiness of my family. It's people that create happiness, not anything you can buy. This is not to say you can't have happy experiences using lots of money; but I do say having lots of money isn't necessary to a happy life. There are many examples of this.

__________________
"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. [...] In our age there is no such thing as 'keeping out of politics.' All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer."

—"Politics and the English Language," George Orwell

"Humankind cannot bear very much reality."

—"Burnt Norton," Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot

onesnowyowl

I'm pretty happy most of the time and by most people's standards, I'm monetarily poor. I have enough to make my ends meet, no more, no less. And that's good enough. Why waste time chasing after those things when what's really valuable are the people around you and the time you spend with them, or the time you spend doing things you truly enjoy? I get far more satisfaction out of cleaning up my garden than purchasing a material possession. To me, those kinds of possessions are just chains. Happiness is not consumerism.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

tiger777

Bravo we have a winner!

MSD

I have a job that I'm overqualified for three times over, I have no car, and I'm 24 and still live with my mom. On any given day, I'm more likely than not to be at least content, but I wouldn't call myself happy or successful. Maybe it's about living up to my potential, which I'm clearly not.

jewels

Nice

I've been on all sides of this equation at one time or another during my lifetime. Happiness hasn't a thing to do with a prestigious occupation or the car you can drive.

I've switched occupations several times over the years, trying to find my own place of happiness. At my tender age, I plan to be back in school before the end of this year so that I can do what I've always wanted to do.

When I was married and had a good-paying "career", everyone though I was so happy and successful. My ex and I were expert at our roles because we were able to accomplish what we thought we were supposed to achieve. Truth is, we were both utterly miserable.

I finally was able to recently purchase a home, but my purpose is to have an investment to leave for my children. I have had many weeks where I had to ask my daughter to limit how much milk she drank in a day because I couldn't afford another gallon.

Am I successful? I think so. I've done a fine job of raising my girls to be strong, independent and respectful young ladies. I'm loved by the three of them and a wonderful man. My parents view me as successful, because they're proud of the job I've done with my children. Although I don't have much materialistically, I give as much as I can of myself.

These are the things that matter. Your question should be rephrased. How much money would make me successful?

__________________
Politics is applesauce.


- Will Rogers

paparora

Yeah, I have been thinking a lot about the posts, and in general conversation with my parents, friends. Yes, they are very materialistic but they are only looking out for me. Being miserable with money > being miserable without money. One of the things I think that I have done wrong is I have searched for happiness incorrectly. I never fully gave anything a shot, and that is why I am not sure what makes me happy (too complicated to explain lol). I am 21 (almost 22) and I think its a good mature time to correct my mistakes, and enjoy the search for happiness.

Thank you all for this thoughtful thread. Hopefully I can take this discussion and amend my life.
-----Added 24/8/2008 at 06 : 49 : 57-----
I am going to Alaska...sike but that is a really good movie. (Into the Wild)