Lebell

This just in!

Link

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Kim Jong Il: I'll give up Nukes for Star Wars movies!

In secret talks, unstable North Korean tyrant Kim Jong Il has offered to shut down his nuclear arms program and allow U.N. weapons inspections unlimited access to his country -- if he's given a sneak preview of Star Wars: Episode III.

U.S. negotiators were flabbergasted when the flamboyant, wildhaired strongman said he would give up his nukes in exchange for a chance to see the upcoming installment of the popular sci-fi saga, not due to hit theaters until May 25, 2005.

"When Kim told us his primary demand was 'I must have Star Wars,' we first thought he was referring to the Strategic Defense Initiative -- that he was saying he'd surrender his nukes if his country would be protected by the space-based missile defense shield America is developing," says a Bush administration source involved in the high-stakes bargaining sessions.

"When he made it clear he was talking about a Hollywood movie, we were simply stunned. It's almost unfathomable that this dangerous rogue nation that's held the world in the grip of fear with its nuclear threats for the past year is being governed by a sci-fi nerd obsessed with light sabers and the Force."

Yet to Far East experts familiar with the extremes to which avid cinema buff Kim Jong Il has gone in the past, the bizarre demand comes as no surprise. The depraved dictator once kidnapped South Korea's most famous film star, Choe Eun Hee, and her movie producer hubby Shin Sang Ok and forced them to make propaganda films on his behalf until they finally escaped nine years later.

"Kim liked action movies, sex movies, horror movies," Shin Sang Ok recalls. "When I knew him, his favorites were Friday the 13th and Hong Kong action films. He's a big fan of Rambo and James Bond."

In more recent years, Kim's taste has turned to science fiction. It's said his private collection includes thousands of vintage science-fiction videos and rare memorabilia such as a lifesize Chewbacca doll, a complete set of Battlestar Galactica action figures and even a signed copy of William Shatner's The Transformed Man -- that infamous '60s album on which the Star Trek skipper warbles "Mr. Tambourine Man" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Biographer Edward King says Kim has been fixated on Star Wars in particular for at least a decade.

"Kim strongly identifies with Darth Vader, the ruthless villain of the original Star Wars trilogy," the British researcher reveals. "Since the third prequel will focus on heroic Anakin Skywalker's switch to the Dark Side and transformation into Vader, it's obvious why Kim would have an 'I gotta have it' attitude."

U.S. negotiators -- who had feared Kim's terms might be impossible to meet -- are eager to turn over an advance copy as soon as possible. But it's by no means certain that 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm will agree to give the despot a much-coveted sneak peak at the flick. "The plot of the next Star Wars movie is one of the best kept secrets in Hollywood. Kim Jong Il may be anxious to know what happens next, but so are a lot of other fans," says a studio insider.

"We don't want details leaking out that will spoil the fun for American moviegoers."


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(You guys needed a laugh...Politics has been way to serious lately )

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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis

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Strange Famous

haha, I saw that article too, pretty funny!

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"Lying in bed on a summer morning, with the window open, listening to the church bells, eating buttered toast with cunty fingers.” (on the meaning of Englishness)

"I'm a complicated man and nobody understands me but my woman"

Paq

Ummmm...wow
if that is serious....I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hope the third installment is better than the first two...

Seriously, they sucked raw eggs...

I'd hate to get nuked bc the director had his hands into too much...

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Live.

Chris

FoolThemAll

Weekly World News is the source. I'm pretty sure they're the paper that continually reports on the activities of Bad Boy: Half-bat, half-boy.

Good stuff.

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I wonder if we're stuck in Rome.

WarWagon

You know, with the way that crazy sonofabitch's mind works, its probably not too far fetched.

illesturban

<--- might sound dumb but...

uhhh... this is supposed to be a joke right? LOL I am seriously hoping this is fake.

MSD

Look at the link URL

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If you catch the evil twin, then why would you keep it alive?