dman2

I'm sure this has been discussed before but lets re-open the discussion. How come sex always seems to decrease after marriage? I don't think it has anything to do with age or attraction. A lot of it has to do with having children, as I think is my case. Wife and I don't have near as much sex since the kids. Any suggestions?

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lotsofmagnets

ah the search function

Married Sex-WTF?

Sex: How many times a week?

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she shed her mountain turning training wheels, for the convenience of the moving sidewalk, that delivers the magnetic monkey children through the mouth of impossible calendar clock, into the devil's manhole cauldron.
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Vigilante

I'd say it has to do with taking on more responsibility as you age. The more that's on your plate, the less time you have sitting around being bored. You might see some anecdotal evidence of this in that couples have more sex if they are locked indoors during a storm, etc. ...or so I've heard.

It may also have to do with (correct me if I'm wrong) the level of endorphins increases when you first find "love" and then decreases over time to a more mellow state. Naturally your sexual desire wouldn't be as strong, but that doesn't mean attraction is diminished.

In my case, we didn't even have sex until we were married. Oh I would have, but she was the strong one haha.

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Katyanna

I don't know what your family situation is, if you are both working or if she is staying at home. I will assume that you are both working for the sake of this post, either way much of this would still apply.

Make sure that you are taking an active roll in the household chores. Be sure that you are also active with the children, perhaps even taking them off to the park at times and letting her relax and sleep in on occasion. It is hard to be a working mother as your thoughts are always on your children first. If she is a homemaker, let her know you appreciate it and make sure she gets some time off too.

Make sure that you are making an effort. You know you are married and committed but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't make attempts at your appearance. Schedule a surprise date, make all the arrangements for the sitter etc, take her out unexpectedly. It doesn't have to be luxurious, but a dinner and a walk at a pretty park at night. I think some times we get too comfortable in our relationship and lose sight of all of the little things that have evolved in our relationships over time.

Here is something else, that we forget sometimes. Remember those times when you were dating? When you would lean over and give a kiss, or just cuddle up on the couch or the theater while watching the movie, holding hands. All of those intimate but not necessarily sexual cues. Do them. Don't just reach over and grab a titty in bed when you want to get some. Make sure that you are giving her romantic loving signals just to let her know you care and still feel the attractions. Just because you won her over doesn't mean you have to stop playing the game.