Anonymous Member

Now...the thing is, my whole life - I have always been able to get an erection pretty much within 1 minute of thinking about it, or being in any kind of sexy situation, even multiple times in one sitting. It can happen also when I dont particularly want it to, and never in my life have I not been able to get one when I did want to, until last night.

I was with my girlfriend, and we were like in bed together, kissing and so on...and I kind of kept getting a semi and then losing it again. She didnt make a big deal about it and without going into details we did something else that didnt involve the need for an erection on my behalf. She didnt make a big deal out of it, and I tried to act calm - but personally I am pretty concerned.

To answer the obvious questions - I didnt drink that night at all, I do smoke (only cigarettes and not much), I have been under a lot of pressure this week at work and havent had a day off in 12 days, I am overweight, I am in my early 30's - but this has NEVER happened to me before.

On the way to work this morning on the bus I was idly directing a porno movie in my head and without thinking about it got a hard on then which I had to repress by imagining my balls being rapped in a towell full of ice cubes - so I dont think anything is medically wrong with me - but I dont know if I should go and see a doctor in any case? When I got home tonight I watched a porno video for 5 minutes and nothing happened again.

Could this just be a one off, or could there be something seriously wrong with me? Obviously its the kind of thing I only have any experience or knowledge of with regards to myself, I dont know how it is for other men.

Baraka_Guru

These are all factors.

Quick tips:

• Quit smoking
• Manage your stress: "me" time/quiet time, doing things you are passionate about, talk out your problems with those you can confide in, restful/unwinding activities, *time off work*
• Start exercising: cardio and resistance training 3/week
• Clean up your diet.
• Get enough sleep.

These are more connected than you might think.

What does this tell you? Some studies have documented problems with men watching too much porn. Yet, look what your imagination can do.... Keep this in mind when addressing your problem.

If it persists...yes, see a doctor. But this indeed might be a temporary problem. It happens to the best of us.

Take care of yourself.

__________________
Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—"Burnt Norton," Four Quartets, T. S. Eliot

Martian

You're over thirty. After nineteen, it gets harder (or doesn't, in this case) every year.

It happened once. Big deal. I'm a good five years younger than you, and this has happened to me before too. It's rare, but it does occur. Maybe you were stressed out about something that day, who knows. But now I can guarantee you're stressed out about something. You're getting all this performance anxiety, and it's not making your little dude want to perform.

Relax.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Aladdin Sane

Dude, welcome to the human race. It happens. One time is not a trend. Don't over think it. Get some rest and manage your stress.

__________________
Who is John Galt?

little_tippler

I tend to think that this sort of situation can easily become a self-fufiling prophecy if you are worrying about it a lot.

If you just put it down to a one-off and concentrate on just having fun you should be ok. If it persists even after you've stopped worrying then maybe I'd see a doctor.

As a woman I can't really give more advice because I don't understand the workings of it like a man does. I think some good advice has already been given by others in this thread in regards to lifestyle.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

Xerxys

Performance anxiety. I heard it happens.

__________________
Proper planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance.

Anonymous Member

Sorry to sidetrack, but curious. Sources/any more info?

ratbastid

Don't have any such citations, but I want to chime in on the "welcome to your 30's" thing.

Since around my 30th birthday, I go through phases of low interest, lack of real physical response, etc. Probably last a couple-three days. I've been thoroughly checked out by a doc, it's entirely normal. During those times, it's a useful thing that I'm good with my hands, if you follow me. I enjoy satisfying my girl(s) and I don't particularly need anything back from them. And then there are phases where I'm a complete animal. Normal. Happens. Not a problem unless you make it one.

Here's the One Truth about sex: When you're hot you're hot, and when you're not you're not. All the rest is just noise.

curiousbear

Porn itself is not a problem. Expectations created if any due to watching porno can be a problem.
Working hard or for days together without off is not a problem. Lack of sleep, lack of rest and fatigue can be problem. learn to work hard without falling fatigue which is a separate topic of discussion by itself.

From your OP, seems the girl is practical and smart.

In such times you can also try to be completely passive! And let her take lead...

Tfp forums helped me a lot. I had overcome the exact above problems you described. Good luck to you