Nerd Sayings Galore - Tilted Forum Project - TFP - Sexuality, Philosophy and Political Discussion

Drider_it · 04-29-2003, 01:23 AM

Friend sent me this one.. enjoy.. being a closet nerd, I did.

1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 8. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
9. C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
10. <--- The information went data way --->
11. Best file compression around: 'DEL *.*' = 100% compression. 12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.
14. The name is Baud, James Baud.
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
17. C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!' 20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
23. E Pluribus Modem
24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny.
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)? 29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium.
32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
40. All computers wait at the same speed.
41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors. 42. Go ahead, make my data!
43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981
51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!

juanvaldes · 04-29-2003, 02:02 AM

/me hugs my Mac.

meanSpleen · 04-29-2003, 02:55 PM

Why oh why did I get a flashback of Jimmy Fallon playing "Your Companies Computer Guy" in all those sketches??

eheheh, good stuff.

MSD · 04-29-2003, 09:54 PM

I've actually gotten "Error: could not retrieve error message"

I'm dead serious.

Antagony · 04-30-2003, 12:55 AM

Hehe, those are cute

cheese · 04-30-2003, 01:06 AM

I have gotten " error: all prosseses compleated sucsesfully"

chodarama · 04-30-2003, 01:10 AM

that's good stuff, my favorite: 45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

darkure · 04-30-2003, 05:28 AM

Those are great. For some reason a few of them like #45 remind me of the MArx brothers.

krazykemist · 04-30-2003, 05:52 AM

While playing Counter Strike at a LAN I got booted from the game to be greeted with a message of:

ERROR: No Error.

Had to take screenshots and set it as my background

ratbastid · 04-30-2003, 02:36 PM

I'm gonna steal a couple of those for my signature line! Excellent stuff!

PitViper401 · 04-30-2003, 03:57 PM

LOL those were hilarious.

HamiC · 05-01-2003, 01:20 PM

Very funny post. Thanks!

04-29-2003, 01:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
Drider_it Junkie Join Date: Apr 2003	Nerd Sayings Galore Friend sent me this one.. enjoy.. being a closet nerd, I did. 1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. 3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. 5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. 6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. 7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 8. C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL 9. C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN 10. <--- The information went data way ---> 11. Best file compression around: 'DEL .' = 100% compression. 12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. 13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. 14. The name is Baud, James Baud. 15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! 16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah! 17. C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner! 18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.. 19. Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT command or filename!' 20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing. 21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) 22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups. 23. E Pluribus Modem 24. >... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny. 26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available. 27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting. 28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)? 29. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord. 31. 11th commandment-Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Pentium. 32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence? 33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation. 34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass. 35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . . 36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk? 37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee. 38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure. 39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... 40. All computers wait at the same speed. 41. Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors. 42. Go ahead, make my data! 43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... 44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue... 45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! 46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage. 47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!! 48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? 49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue. 50. '640K ought to be enough for anybody.' - Bill Gates, 1981 51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS 52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS 53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit... 54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!

04-29-2003, 02:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
meanSpleen Squid hat! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: A Few Miles Away From Halx	Why oh why did I get a flashback of Jimmy Fallon playing "Your Companies Computer Guy" in all those sketches?? eheheh, good stuff. __________________ Like TFP? Donate To Keep It Alive!!

04-30-2003, 12:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
Antagony Psychopathic Akimbo Action Pirate Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: ...between Christ and Belial.	Hehe, those are cute __________________ On the outside I'm jazz, but my soul is rock and roll. Sleep is a waste of time. Join the Insomniac Club. "GYOH GWAH-DAH GREH BLAAA! SROH WIH DIH FLIH RYOHH!!" - The Locust

04-30-2003, 05:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
darkure Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Dodging the ice pick	Those are great. For some reason a few of them like #45 remind me of the MArx brothers. __________________ COYW

04-30-2003, 05:52 AM	#9 (permalink)
krazykemist Psycho Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New Orleans	While playing Counter Strike at a LAN I got booted from the game to be greeted with a message of: ERROR: No Error. Had to take screenshots and set it as my background __________________ "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself." -- Tolstoy

04-29-2003, 02:02 AM	#2 (permalink)
juanvaldes Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: shittown, CA	/me hugs my Mac.

04-29-2003, 09:54 PM	#4 (permalink)
MSD Super Moderator Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: CT	I've actually gotten "Error: could not retrieve error message" I'm dead serious.

04-30-2003, 01:06 AM	#6 (permalink)
cheese Psycho Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: In your bath tub with all your other rubber toys	I have gotten " error: all prosseses compleated sucsesfully"

04-30-2003, 01:10 AM	#7 (permalink)
chodarama Insane Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: a van, down by the river	that's good stuff, my favorite: 45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!

04-30-2003, 02:36 PM	#10 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Yonder	I'm gonna steal a couple of those for my signature line! Excellent stuff!

04-30-2003, 03:57 PM	#11 (permalink)
PitViper401 Banned Join Date: Apr 2003	LOL those were hilarious.

05-01-2003, 01:20 PM	#12 (permalink)
HamiC Insane Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: USA	Very funny post. Thanks!